Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings- Page 4

[Mythus]

Posted: 1/11/08 at 5:47pm

Spamalot's, just for accuracy's sake:

"Hello, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Shubert Theatre. During this performance, please feel free to let your cellphones and pagers ring willy-nilly. However, do remember that there are heavily armed knights onstage and you might well be dragged up and impaled. Oh, and the Spamalot orchestra is under the baton of..."

[dramarama2]

Posted: 1/11/08 at 6:37pm

In Priscilla Queen of the Desert: The Musical, it's done in a male drag voice, and he says something like: "Please turn your cell-phones off and place them in your man bags" and something else about, "telling your boyfriend about not taking photos. I don't care how desperate he is for sex!"

[Mattbrain]

Posted: 1/11/08 at 6:51pm

""Hey guys, can I have a sec? This won't take long. So, okay, the show's about to start, and it would be totally helpful if you could turn off cell phones, Sidekicks, you get it? Oh, and ditto for no-go on cameras or video -- if anything shows up on YouTube, I am going to come after you and I am so not kidding right now. The show is conducted by James Something-or-Other, who, P.S., is totally hot in a John-Mayer-scruffy-write-you-songs sort of way. Have fun!""

My favorite of all time!!!!!

[broadwayman17]

Posted: 1/11/08 at 7:25pm

what was the cry-baby warning?

[noahrp3]

Posted: 1/11/08 at 7:38pm

The Cry Baby one was embedded in the overture, so the overture would start and then at certain points of it, a few voices would say in rhythm: "Take your seats" or "cell phones off", etc. The same thing happens at the end of the show and the voices say "Get some sleep" and "drive home safe", etc. It's definitely my favorite beginning of show warning.

[neddyfrank2]

Posted: 1/12/08 at 3:35am

My favorite was "lower your cholesterol."

[JRybka]

Posted: 1/12/08 at 8:23am

I cannot believe anyone has talked about when Kristen Chenoweth was host of the Drama Desk Awards. She said something about if she hears a cell phone she swears she will make this mother 10 hours long! It was hystericala.

[i.believe2]

Posted: 1/12/08 at 2:59pm

people laughed at spring awakening's..
lauren pritchard mentions over the loudspeaker to "unrap all candies".
people found that HYSTERICAL!

[BlueWindSadness]

Posted: 1/12/08 at 3:07pm

i was gonna say!

i find the "please unwrap all candies" awesome. i mean, it does need to be said though, because that could be the most annoying thing while you are trying to watch a show- somone munching on candy and rustling wrappers. am i right? if you have ever been to see mary poppins, you would understand with all those kids in the audience!! haha.....

[WickedBoy2]

Posted: 1/12/08 at 3:11pm

Sideshow
Usher came to from of mezzanine and hushed the whole theatre to say 'ladies go to the bathroom NOW cos its 2hr till the intermission' - mad rush for toilets, male and female!

[myManCape]

Posted: 1/12/08 at 3:18pm

Didnt read the thread so I dont know if its been mentioned (I doubt it has) at "The All American Sport of..." it was announced that any ringing phones would be assumed to be communication with Al Queda and that the offender would be sent to GitMo.

[Josh Freilich]

Posted: 1/12/08 at 4:13pm

Does anyone know YF or TLM's preshow announcements?

[dinglehopper89]

Posted: 1/12/08 at 4:24pm

Light in the Piazza with their Italian :]

[Josh Freilich]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 2:57pm

Does anyone have The Little Mermaid's preshow announcements, or does it just begin immediately?

[musicalmaster703]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:07pm

Cry Baby





Also at a high school it was

"Turn off all your cell phones, blackberries, and small children."

[bwaymizfit2]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:34pm

I just got finished with a local production of "The Full Monty," and our preshow announcement proceeded with the normal cell-phone/photography warning, but ended with,

"This show contains adult themes, nudity, and strong language, so if you have small children in the audience, GET THEM THE **BEEP** OUT OF HERE!!...thank you."

It was fabulous.

[Calvin]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:39pm

With Top Girls -- they just kept playing the sound effect of a ringing cell phone sporadicly throughout the pre-show period and during the two intermissions. At least I think that was the cell phone reminder and not part of the show.

[verynewyorkcurious]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:44pm

Also at Top Girls, there's a sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhh right before each act starts. It's kinda weird, but very effective.

When they announce the unwrapping the candy, the audience always laugh like they think it's a joke.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:52pm

Spamalot's is awesome.

Now, this didn't have to do with being quiet or cell phones, but with Mamma Mia they gave out a warning that people would be on stage in spandex. LOL! It was great.

[defyingravity07]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 3:59pm

I love Legally Blonde and Dirty Rotten Scoundrels.

DRS: Ladies and Gentalmen welcome to Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Please turn off all electronics, if a cellphone goes off the seats are equiped with ejection hydrolics. This performence is conducted by the Communist Kevin Casey.

LB: Hey Guys! Could I have just a sec? This won't take long. So, OK. The show's about to start, and it would totally helpful if you turn off cellphones, Sidekicks--- You get it. Oh and that's a no go on camera or video--- if any of this shows up on Youtube I will come after you and I'm so not kidding right now. This performence is conducted by the totally hot "Conducter" in a James Blunt write you a song sort of way.

[DefyGravity777]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 4:47pm

The Legally Blonde one is cute.
What was funny though that during the show Elle's phone goes off and everyone in the audience was looking around to see if it was theirs. Including me...LOL

[PhantomTango1]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 7:26pm

"Turn off all your cell phones, blackberries, and small children."

My new favorite.

[TragicFlaw]

Posted: 5/5/08 at 11:42pm

Walmartopia's was pretty funny. I can't remember exactly what it said though.

The 39 Steps' is also funny. It asks you to turn off all cell phones, watch alarms, and personal surveillance equipment.

[skb2010]

Posted: 5/6/08 at 12:40am

I was at Spelling Bee at the Drury Lane Theater in Chicago, and it was a really small matinee crowd, and Ms. Peretti had just gotten done saying her little intro thing, and a cell phone went off right before the second song started. and she was like "And AS I SAID BEFORE, please turn your cell phones OFF" in a really stern, evil ish voice. it was great.

[thatgirl712]

Posted: 5/6/08 at 2:39am

Interesting, gets your attention.