Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

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Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:38pm

What's your favorite announcement at the beginning of the show where they tell you to turn off your cell phones and stuff. Some theatres just outright tell you to do it, while others get creative. I like the one before The Light in the Piazza where everything is in Italian except for key words and phrases such as "cell phones (Italian) beepers (more Italian) turn off now." It was very amusing to me.

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:41pm

I loved the one before "The Boy from Oz": "Remember, the Imperial Theatre is equipped with automatic ejection seats and will go off if a cell phone is heard in the theater."

"Ev'ry-buddy wants ta get into de act!" - Jimmy Durante "Breathe from your hoo-hoo." -Kristin Chenoweth

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:42pm

Spamalot

Herbie: "Honey, Don't you know there's a depression?"
Rose: "Of Course I know, I Watch Fox News"
-(modified)Gypsy
Broadway Schedule
December 5th- Hamilton, On Your Feet
December 19th- Noises Off, Edith Piaf Concert at Town Hall

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:45pm

At 110 in the Shade in Pasadena, they had a plant in the audience whose cell phone "went off," and a cast member went up to them and stomped the (fake) phone to pieces.

Brilliant.

"This thread reads like a series of White House memos." — Mister Matt

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:45pm

Grey Gardens and King Lear at the Public!

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:47pm

What was Lear's?

Back a few years, I believe it was either Henry V or Much Ado About Nothing in Central Park, they had the cast on stage in chairs and 1 cell phone went off....they wrecked the seating area looking for it.

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:50pm

What's Grey Gardens'?

And, while I don't have a specific example, I love when shows that don't take place in mordern times and say "It is (Insert Era Before Cell Phones Here), so remember, there are no cell phones".

I am a firm believer in serendipity- all the random pieces coming together in one wonderful moment, when suddenly you see what their purpose was all along.

Updated On: 3/29/07 at 07:50 PM

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:53pm

At King Lear, right before the show starts, they had a phone go off. Then a few seconds later, another phone went off. Then more and more rings were heard all over the theater. Then they stopped and the lights dimmed. They repeated it for the second act as well. It was funny because there was always someone who though it was their phone.

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:53pm

At a local production of Forbidden Broadway they say something like
"Smoking, much like spontaneous combustion, is not permitted. Should you have to do either because of religious reasons, we ask that you do so quietly.
Also, should a fire go off, please exit the theatre in a calm manner, while everyone else is screaming in panic. But remember, the last one out gets to finish all of the leftover drinks!"

Always great.

Theatre is a safe place to do the unsafe things that need to be done. -John Patrick Shanley

#10

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:54pm

Oh! And at Grey Gardens a few interesting phone ring are heard and then the announcer says something like "This is a musical we already have songs so we don't want to hear yours." Or soemthing like that...

#11

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:56pm

I can't believe someone hasn't already mentioned High Fidelity's. In Boston, at least. They changed it for Broadway. So hilarious.

"This table, he is over one hundred years old. If I could, I would take an old gramophone needle and run it along the surface of the wood. To hear the music of the voices. All that was said." - Doug Wright, I Am My Own Wife

#12

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 7:58pm

GG's has the menacing voice of John McMartin saying "Turn off your cell phone. Remember, this is a musical. We already have songs.

#13

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:07pm

That's fantastic.

I am a firm believer in serendipity- all the random pieces coming together in one wonderful moment, when suddenly you see what their purpose was all along.

#14

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:09pm

The best was Invincible Summer. "We will shove the phone so far up your f***ing @$$"

#15

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:14pm

At GG, just for the record, you hear the following:

A bunch of different cell phone rings. Then, John McMartin says:

"No matter how tuneful the ring of your cell phone, please turn it off. This is a musical. We already have songs".

"A birdcage I plan to hang. I'll get to that someday. A birdcage for a bird who flew away...Around the world." "Life is a cabaret old chum, only a cabaret old chum, and I love a cabaret!"-RIP Natasha Richardson-I was honored to have witnessed her performance as Sally Bowles.

#16

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:18pm

In The Frogs they have a line in the opening song "..and we'd appreciate you turning off your cell phones while we wait." and then whoever is playing Xantheis (Roger Bart) his cell phone goes off when they're on stage and he answers it and does a few ad-lib things (EX: When Chris Kattan played him, he answered the phone and said "Bill Clinton! You old so and so, how are you?....yes I got the book!....I know it took a long time to write but next time use BOTH hands!").

Not really a WARNING or anything, but you get the point.

"I'm tellin' you, the only times I really feel the presence of God are when I'm having sex and during a great Broadway musical." - Nathan Lane - Jeffrey

#17

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:22pm

wonderfulwizard11: a specific example would be in Hairspray where the guy says "In Hairspray, it's 1962, a time before cell phones."

In a production of School House Rock Live I was in, we said that if any photos were taken, the actors would immediately disenegrate. Yet, we still had a woman bring in a huge camera with flash!

#18

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:24pm

I read in a book that the warning before "I Am My Own Wife" was done in German.

"Ev'ry-buddy wants ta get into de act!" - Jimmy Durante "Breathe from your hoo-hoo." -Kristin Chenoweth

#19

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:34pm

Both the King Lear and Grey Gardens warnings sound like what they had at The Threepenny Opera.

My avatar = A screencap from Avatar, arguably the greatest animated show of all

#20

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:39pm

Not cel phone related, but still my favourite was a production at a semiprofessional theatre whose production had been burnt to a crisp by the local media. The intro was conducted like emergency escape routes on an airplace: "In the event that you simply cannot take any more, doors are conveniently located at the front, sides, and rear of the theatre."

http://docandraider.com

#21

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:47pm

I second the High Fidelity in Boston preshow warning. It was taken out of the show before I got to see it, but I remember reading it and it was pretty hillarious. Maybe someone else remembers it.

#22

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:49pm

I liked DRS'... "There is no pre-show announcement"

"I have this mental image of Patti barreling down the street and pushing tourists out of her way." -colleen_lee

#23

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 8:54pm

i liked the one from The Boy From Oz. I thought Spamalot was funny but I can't remember it at the moment. Anyone remember it?

The Best of Times is Now!

#24

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 9:03pm

What was High Fidelity's pre-show announcement in Boston?

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#25

re: Favorite/Funniest Beginning of Show Warnings

Posted: 3/29/07 at 9:07pm

Grey Gardens and DRS. I liked Piazza's because it was all in Italian.

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The choice may have been mistaken, The choosing was not... "Every day has the potential to be the greatest day of your life." - Lin-Manuel Miranda "And when Idina Menzel is singing, I'm always slightly worried that her teeth are going to jump out of her mouth and chase me." - Schmerg_the_Impaler

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