Funniest Lyrics

[Alex Kulak2]

Posted: 1/19/24 at 10:05am

What are some of the funniest lyrics you've encountered in a musical?

For me, I've always been partial to "The Last One You'd Expect" from Gentleman's Guide.

"Only two people left still alive who stand between the Earldom and Me"

*Lord Asquith Dysquith dies of a heart attack*

"...Only one person left still alive who stands between the Earldom and Me"

[Lot666]

Posted: 1/19/24 at 10:33am

"Loud" from Matilda.

[Bill Snibson]

Posted: 1/19/24 at 11:00am

"You Can Always Count on Me" from City of Angels  "a girl with a face that says welcome that men can wipe their feet on..."

[Jarethan]

Posted: 1/19/24 at 11:17am

A Little Priest and Bosom Buddies immediately came to mind.  

I would also add The Grass is Always Greener, Class,  second the previous mention from Gentleman’s Guide (in fact half the score) is funny.  From The Producers,  I would propose The  King of Old Broadway, Betrayed (to me, the comedic Rose’s Song), and Keep it Gay.

Others would include Little Girls, Gooch’s Song, Broadway Baby.  Comedy Tonight sets up Forum, but the song itself isn’t very funny.  Everybody Oughta Have a Maid is a funnier song.

[B212323]

Posted: 1/20/24 at 12:36am

Bill Snibson said: ""You Can Always Count on Me" from City of Angels "a girl with a face that says welcome that men can wipe their feet on...""

Ohhh good one! I also like "I woke up only slighted shocked that I defrocked a priest". 

[B212323]

Posted: 1/20/24 at 12:40am

Alex Kulak2 said: "What are some of the funniest lyrics you've encountered in a musical?

For me, I've always been partial to "The Last One You'd Expect" fromGentleman's Guide.

"Only two people left still alive who stand between the Earldom and Me"

*Lord Asquith Dysquith dies of a heart attack*

"...Only one person left still alive who stands between the Earldom and Me""

 

From The Producers "People want laughter when they see a show, the last thing they're after's a litany of woe"  

                                  "Oedipus won't bomb, if he winds up with mom..." 

Cracks me up every single time. 

 

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 1/20/24 at 12:12pm

Great Big Stuff.

David Yazbek in general.

[Danasi]

Posted: 1/20/24 at 12:47pm

I feel like Mme. Thenardier always gets a laugh with her line in "Master of the House", where she notes her husband "thinks he's quite a lover, but there's not much there..."

I grew up listening to the 10th anniversary concert of Les Mis so I'm especially partial to her delivery of the line in that version

[The8re phan]

Posted: 1/20/24 at 1:07pm

"Agony" from Into the Woods has some of the smartest, sharpest, wittiest lyrics ever written

[Alex Kulak2]

Posted: 1/20/24 at 1:50pm

Jay Lerner-Z said: "Great Big Stuff.

David Yazbek in general."

Love Sick from Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown is my favorite of his. I'm always astounded by the rhyme he does between "needle, it'll" and "bleed a little".

[justoldbill]

Posted: 1/21/24 at 7:24pm

He left River City the library building but he left all the books to HER.

[Robert McDonald]

Posted: 1/22/24 at 4:29am

Alex Kulak2 said: "For me, I've always been partial to "The Last One You'd Expect" fromGentleman's Guide."

Pretty much any song from A Gentleman’s Guide has hysterical lyrics.

I raise “Can That Boy Foxtrot!”, cut from Follies. Especially Carole Cook’s rendition from the S.T.A.G.E. concert.

[LuckyDipster]

Posted: 1/22/24 at 9:46am

From Falsettos...

[MARVIN, spoken]
Whizzer.​

[WHIZZER]
Is he still queer?

[MARVIN]
Am I queer?

[TRINA]
I don't know!

[MARVIN]
It's been so long since I could tell

[ErmengardeStopSniveling]

Posted: 1/22/24 at 11:35am

Any number of lyrics from FORUM but this was the first that came to mind, which relies on the audience laughing at Senex for being an old geezer:

[HERO]
Women often want a father, she may want mine--It's possible!

[SENEX]
He's a handsome lad of twenty, I'm thirty-nine--It's possible!

[HERO]
Older men know so much more...

[SENEX]
In a way, I'm forty-four...

[HERO]
Next to him, I'd seem a bore.

[SENEX]
All right, fifty!

[HERO]
Then again, he is my father; I ought to trust--Impossible!

[SENEX]
Then again, with love at my age, sometimes it's just Impossible!

[Fordham2015]

Posted: 1/22/24 at 12:18pm

Most recently I loved this exchange from Here We Are:

"Who had the duck? You're out of luck"

"F*CK"

[Highland Guy]

Posted: 1/22/24 at 1:09pm

Cole Porter's "Miss Otis Regrets".  First performed in a revue, Hi Diddle Diddle, at London's Savoy Theater in 1934.  And here, for fun, sung in French by Edith Piaf.

 

[Highland Guy]

Posted: 1/22/24 at 1:19pm

And here, "Miss Otis Regrets" sung in English by the Divine Miss M.
 

 

[South Florida]

Posted: 1/22/24 at 7:32pm

A nod to Book of Mormon. "Man up".