Back in the late 80s, there was a Bway production of Pygmalion with Peter O'Toole as Henry Higgins and Amanda Plummer as Eliza Doolittle. During intermission in the lobby I heard a woman demanding her money back at the box office because this production "cut out all the music."
after all, what's Pygmalion without "I Could Have Danced All Night"?!
"Sweet summer evenings, hot wine and bread /
Sharing your supper, sharing your bed /
Simple joys have a simple voice:
It says why not go ahead?"
What about this one: I was staying in a hostel and 3 German guys, who were in the same dorm had asked what show to see, and I told them they'd probably enjoy Avenue Q and started listing some of the songs. When I said "The Internet is for porn", they said ooooh that's the film on youtube! They made a Broadwayshow from that? I'm sure it's good!
I'm wracking my brain for some of the stupid stuff I've heard at shows. I know there have been some really dumb stuff over the years, but you know how when you want to remember stuff you never can?
All that I can remember at the moment are the people when I saw the Starlight Express Tour (UK) complaining that the video sequences were fuzzy. After being given 3-D glasses and after watching warnings saying put on your 3-D safety goggles now.
Woman: Nathan Lane was in the original cast, right? Man: Right. And the other guy was... what's his name?... oh yeah, Michael J. Fox.
Man #1: Oh, man, what a great show! I love the movie with Zero Mostel! Man #2: Wasn't he in that movie about the forum? Man #1: Yeah, A Funny Thing in the Forum. Man #2: Wasn't that Mel Brooks, too? Man #1: You know, I think it WAS!
(Ah, the cow lady. I lived in upstate Texas, and I knew a lady with a cow car. Instead of a regular horn, it moo'd. And horns, instead of a hood ornamte. And, it painted white with brown spots. Before it was the Cow Car, it was a Cadillac.)
I have one from my family. Every year, my grandparents get tickets for all of their children and grandchildren to see a show. The problem is, my grandfather is deaf. He sits there very quietly, and after the show he will talk about how great the dancers were, but he never knows what happened on stage. So last year we all went to see Wicked, and at intermission we asked him to explain what he knew about what was going on. He started talking about how he thought that Elphaba and Glinda were lesbians, and that Fiyero was one of their fathers. It was possibly the funniest interpretation of a show that I've ever heard.
This didn't happen in the city but my cousin was in a production of Flowers for Algernon, playing Charlie (who is mentally challenged, for those of you who are not familiar with the story). The week after the production closed, my aunt was in the grocery store and overheard a cashier and customer talking about how wonderful the show had been. The cashier said to the customer "how on earth did they ever get that retarded boy to learn all those lines?"
Back in 2001, I was seeing "The Christmas Carol" with Tim Curry starring as Scrooge at Madison Square Garden, and behind me this girl kept telling her grandma how cute and hot she thought Tim Curry was. Now, I'm not bashing on Tim Curry, but the girl was 13. And throughout the entire show she'd swoon, "Oh, he's so cute" and everytime he did something funny she'd say, "I told ya he was talented." Updated On: 6/16/06 at 09:19 AM
(Standing in Duffy Square beside the Cohan statue)
MAN: Can you tell me how to get to Times Square?
"You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering." --Harold Hill from The Music Man
(At a performance of Titanic) The curtain has a scale drawing of how big the ship was, with the Statue of Liberty, lying on its side, next to it to show scale.
We were in the 5th row, center orchestra...house seats I think. There were two seats empty next to us on the aisle and a middle aged couple sat down before the overture began. It took only 5 minutes for her to say to him..."I didnt know it ran into the Statue of Liberty!" She played the candy wrapper game all thru the first act. They didnt return for second.
"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."
morosco - that Pinter one is hilarious. It's such a pretentious comment.
Believe this one. I was sitting in that Starbucks on 51st, it overlooks the Gershwin marquee - aka the WICKED sign.
Two women sit down next to me, chatting. One looks up and sees the sign.
Woman 1: Have you seen Wicked? Woman 2: Nope. But [insert name of friend] saw it. She said it was great. Woman 1: What's it about? Woman 2: I think it's a bunch of old Gershwin songs never used before put together to make a musical.
I have posted this one before. It occurred at a Mandy Patinkin concert back in 1997...
He ended his concert by saying, "I can never end a concert without saying this one phrase"...he then went on to quote the "Hello my name is Inigo Montoya you killed my father, prepare to die" line from The Princess Bride which caused the audience to cheer with delight. What was hilarious though was as I was leaving I overheard two elderly ladies talking about the concert. The first one asked, "What was the point of that last line?" and the other replied, "I don't know, must be some Schwarzenegger thing."
"You pile up enough tomorrows, and you'll find you are left with nothing but a lot of empty yesterdays. I don't know about you, but I'd like to make today worth remembering." --Harold Hill from The Music Man
Wow, I don't know if I'm allowed to find these funny or not because I've only been to NYC 4 or 5 times...but I get all of these jokes. Does that allow me to laugh or am I still a tourist?
"I can't figure out what kind of life this is, comedy or tragedy, I just know it's showbiz. And what if I don't agree with the lines I have to read? They don't pay me enough, the way I see it."
Hugh Panaro's last performance. I was sitting in the front mezz. an elderly couple was sitting beside me. They had obviously never seen the show. (THINK OF ME. Christine is singing and Raoul starts his line) Old Woman: It that the Phantom?! Old Man: I have no clue. I think he is!
Back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky. With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high! Blood-red were the spurs i' the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat, when they shot him down on the highway, down like a dog on the highway, and he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat...
(The Highwayman. Sung by: Loreena McKennitt)
I think I posted this one before, but I started eavesdropping halfway into this conversation during intermission at Chita's show.
Young girl: Shut up! I'm Chita Rivera's sister. Woman in her 50s in front of her: Sister? Please. Maybe her granddaughter. Young girl: You just don't know greatness when you see it. Woman: Please. Young girl: What do you know about theatre? Woman: More than you. Young girl: At least I live here. Where are you from? Jewish, New Jersey? Woman's friend: Jewish, New Jersey? Woman: I live in the Upper East Side, I'll have you know. Woman's friend: (laughing) Jewish, New Jersey.