Question about Etiquette

[Agnes]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 5:12pm

Hello I have a question regarding etiquette in and around the theater.

A few weeks ago when I saw 'On the Heights' and ran in to someone I was a very big fan of. He was seated right next to me (we had both won lotto) and I was not sure if it was appropriate to introduce myself or not? He was alone and seemed friendly enough but at the same time I did not want to be rude. I stayed silent and resisted the temptation to speak to him, although we did brush elbows a few times. He was very well dressed and just as handsome in person as he is in photographs.

My question to everyone is, what would you do in a situation like this? Is it appropriate to strike up a conversation or engage in small talk, or is it best to just leave someone alone? Part of me will always regret not saying something, and part of me will always wonder what could have been.

Thanks in advance for all your help!

[DryMartini]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 6:17pm

Is "On the Heights" the sequel to "In the Heights"?

But seriously, I don't think it's bad to say something while you're both leaving, perhaps that you're a big fan of his work. Intermission might be a bad idea, if he's uncomfortable, it could make all of Act Two uncomfortable and strange.

[KathyGriffinLovesYou]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 6:29pm

..... Exactly.

[DryMartini]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 6:41pm

The other option is to just projectile salivate into his hair.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 7:52pm

I don't know if it were horrible if you mentioned it earlier, as long as you kept it short and sweet...so it was obvious you weren't trying to latch on.

I don't any actor tires of hearing nice things. (Do any of us, really?)

[Scott Briefer]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 8:38pm

As he was alone, I think it would have been perfectly polite to acknowledge knowing this person and seeing where the conversation led. If you're sensitive, you'll know if you're welcome to continue a dialogue.

[uncageg]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 8:49pm

I have bumped into a few people I have admired at the theater and have just said a quick hello. One was Jesse Tyler Ferguson at the intermission for the Sweeney Todd revival. he was very nice. I just said hello, asked how he was enjoying the show, told him I enjoyed Putnam County Spelling Bee and we both said to each other to enjoy the second half of the show.

On the other hand, I found myself standing right next to Bob Martin at a corner on Lexignton 2 days after seeing Drowsy Chaperone. He was with someone and they were chatting. I didn't interrupt to say hello to him. Even when they stopped talking for a few moments, I still didn't say anything.

Agnes, Is there a reason you are not saying who this person was that you were sitting next to? Just curious.

Updated On: 1/8/09 at 08:49 PM

[Agnes]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 9:50pm

Sometimes he posts on these boards asking about closing night tickets and people tend to have a laugh at his expense.

[Cape Twirl of Doom]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 9:57pm

Sometimes he posts on these boards asking about closing night tickets and people tend to have a laugh at his expense.

wtf?

[jordangirl]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 10:00pm

Oh my lord. Coolkid has FANS???????

[Jane2]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 10:16pm

You were correct in not saying anything. This actor was attending a show in his leisure time, and is entitled to be left alone. Plus, what if you had spoken to him and he didn't particularly appreciate being approached. You then would have created an uncomfortable situation for the rest of the evening. Even if he had responded to you, he may not have felt comfortable sitting next to a fan for the rest of the evening.

Many years ago, while doing extra work on a film, I found myself standing shoulder to shoulder with an actor whom I greatly admired. I made the mistake of complimenting this person very briefly. Well, my compliment was answered with a haughty "harrumph" from the actor. I had to stand next to her, touching shoulders, for the entire day and I was more than uncomfortable, as I suppose she was.

[Dollypop]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 10:17pm

Many years ago I sat next to Carol Channing at Lincoln Center. I started a conversation with her that marked the beginning of a warm and lasting friendship.

[jordangirl]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 10:30pm

Jane2 ~ If you read Agnes's follow-up, it was NOT an actor, but a poster on this board.

CREEPY!

[Pianolin717]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 10:31pm

how would you even know it was coolkid unless you ARE coolkid...

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 10:33pm

If it is an actor, NEVER say, "OH MY GOD! I LOVE YOU!"

It's always better to say, "I really enjoy your work."


And I find if my hand happens to end up in his lap or groin area...so be it.

[Jane2]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 10:59pm

"Jane2 ~ If you read Agnes's follow-up, it was NOT an actor, but a poster on this board."

Oh, oy. I read that part, but didn't quite get it-I thought she meant he was an actor who also posted here.

So-this whole thing is about talking to another poster????? Say it isn't so.

[jordangirl]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 11:02pm

I think it was the "asking about closing night tickets" thing that gave it away. LOL.

And pianolin, EXCELLENT point!

Updated On: 1/8/09 at 11:02 PM

[BrianS]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 11:06pm

It depends. Are you hot?

[hushpuppy]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 11:27pm

I'm in my 50's and I have been quietly approaching famous people for years to tell them I appreciate their work. I have never received anything other than a gracious reply in return. Over the years, I have approached actors, writers, politicians, composers, and everybody in between. IMHO, the key is to be quiet, polite, AND BRIEF! Something along the line of 'I'm terribly sorry to disturb you, but I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed your performance/book/score for (fill in the blank)'. AND THEN STOP. Unless you have interrupted them in mid-sentence, only the most arrogant snob would refuse to at least say 'Thank You'. If they are interested in talking, let THEM continue the conversation. Otherwise, offer a polite 'Good Evening', 'Enjoy the Show', or whatever is appropriate, and go back to what you were doing (presuming what you were doing was not standing on a chair shrieking 'Look everyone, it's Stephen Sondheim!')

Now, having said all that, there are three occasions where I would not approach a famous person 1) they are sitting and I am standing (theatre, restaurant, airplane, etc), 2) the men's room (for God's sake, let them pee in peace), and 3) I have nothing nice to say to them (needless to say, I could share an elevator with George W Bush and I wouldn't even acknowledge his presence).

Otherwise, I say go for it.

[blaxx]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 11:37pm

Wait, this "person" had done lotto? Not sure, but there's a huge difference between approaching a Hollywood star to third swing from a musical that closed ten years ago.

[Madcap Maisie]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 11:39pm

Updated On: 6/12/20 at 11:39 PM

[jordangirl]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 11:40pm

Oh but read again... Sometimes he posts on these boards asking about closing night tickets and people tend to have a laugh at his expense.

If that's not coolkid I don't know who else it could be.

[Madcap Maisie]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 11:41pm

Updated On: 6/12/20 at 11:41 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 11:43pm

Jordan girl, so this "Agnes" knows "coolkid" by sight, and admires him enough to be nervous about approaching him? This must be a joke.

[Madcap Maisie]

Posted: 1/8/09 at 11:43pm

Updated On: 6/12/20 at 11:43 PM