Raul Esparza Interview in Sunday Times — Page 3

I don't think she was implying that all gay men are beautiful.

http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/stage/am-company26,0,3551791.story?page=2&coll=ny-theater-headlines

An article in NY Newsday about the "marriages" of the company of Company. An interesting read as it profiles Raul (without sounding crude) from the heterosexual perspective.

I'd like to mention (add my two cents, if you will), that I started liking Raul after hearing TTB (though it was when he was already in Chitty that I first heard the cast recording). I am 19 years old, and have had my share of “crushes” on the Matt Damon/Ben Affleck types when I was 13-15, but I’m a bit more mature about the ‘stars’ I follow these days (and by follow, I mean in the news, I don’t stalk ). I'd say I really was hooked to Raul after listening to the Downstage Center interview, where I couldn't see him, and didn't listen to him sing, but purely heard him talk about his work- how he goes about becoming the characters he performs as. After that, the physical attraction came, I'll be honest, the first time I saw a picture of him I thought "well, he's not very cute, oh well", but of course, that has nothing to do with talent, and now I am very sexually attracted to him, and I'm not sure when that happened.

As for the broody dangerous bisexual man that teens all seem to love- that never entered my mind with Raul until much later, I never thought of him as having a dark, troubled past until I read this article, honestly- at least not the this extent. The bisexual thing- well, I'm bi too, and I guess I am drawn to those who love on a basis of mind and personality, not just looks and sex, I think pretty much everyone has the potential of being bisexual, if they look deep within themselves. I greatly admire Raul for coming out, but not anymore than I already did, and I’ll continue to follow his work, whether I’m 35 and married, or 19 and single.

Anyway, this is probably OT by now anyway, just wanted to add my opinion!

What's striking to me about the article, as I just read it again, is how even though he took such a big step with this, he manages to continue to maintain a level of ambiguity and privacy -- he still dodges labels. That in itself is very complicated, but it's interesting.

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luvtheEmcee. I noticed that also. And he is involved with an actor but still trying to figure out his marriage.

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I get the impression that he's clinging to his marriage for the sake of his family and friends. To all intents and purposes, the marriage is over.

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Updated On: 11/25/06 at 05:47 PM

I'm quite shocked. Okay, I'm lying. I always thought he was a closeted gay man. But I'm shocked that he chose to come out in the New York Times. I don't really know what I think about that... But what I do know is that I admire him even more now. Not because he came out publicly - that's not the point - but because he seems to be coming to terms with himself, an experience that most people avoid. I wish him all the best.

I get the impression that he's clinging to his marriage for the sake of his family and friends. To all intents and purposes, the marriage is over.

Perhaps. But keep in mind that there is a lot of history there. They've known each other almost half their lives and they've been through a lot together. And he does seem to love her. It's hard to walk away from that.

This is beginning to get into the territory that I'm uncomfortable with talking about -- we, as people who know very little about him sort of trying to decide what's "right." But without saying too much, I've always gotten the impression both from what he's put out in public and from other places that he absolutely adores her -- that they're best friends, as he says. There's still a lot there. So wanting to stay in her life and have her in his is very, very different from trying to make work a marriage that they both seem to know can't. What I'm trying to discern -- and what's unclear in the article -- is what's going to happen; having his cake and eating it too, I think, would be staying in his marriage and screwing guys on the side, which has long been the situtation. Wanting to maintain a relationship of some kind with someone he clearly does love in some capacity, to me, isn't that -- it's not the same as what's been going on for years in terms of trying to "make it work." He seems to be acknowledging that as a marriage, it is over, and that he's coming to terms with his sexual identity, whatever it may be, but the phrasing in the part that says they're trying to figure it out is puzzling. No matter what, is it a LOT to dig through.

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Updated On: 11/27/06 at 07:36 PM

I think that's how it was for a whille, and this whole epiphany of sorts signifies going one way or the other, not both? I don't really know.

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Emcee: I was being sarcastic in the last part there. However, something's got to give.

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Updated On: 11/25/06 at 07:49 PM

So much for him being a "private" person. That's over now. You gotta feel for the wife - I sure wouldn't want that splashed all over the New York Times if I were her.

Not to mention the producers and press agent(s) of COMPANY.

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skittles is right. He doesn't say he's bisexual, and, frankly, he probably isn't. He had his first relationship with a man while he was in college, which is pretty typical. It seems that from family pressures he attempted to live the life they wanted for him so he married. He and his wife have been living apart for a long time and it's no secret to those who know him in the theatre world that he's been involved with men over the years.

I didn't get the impression that there's any issue of him trying to 'fix' his marriage, but more it's a case of trying to figure out, maybe through therapy?, as to why he even married her in the first place. He's obviously conflicted but I don't see anything here other than a situation that many men face after denying, for whatever reasons, who they truly are and attempting to lead a more 'traditional' and acceptable life. He's very close to his wife, which is not unusual at all, even in a situation where he's now coming out publicly.