Raul Esparza Interview in Sunday Times- Page 3

[WesternSky2]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 3:14pm

I don't think she was implying that all gay men are beautiful.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 3:18pm

She says she finds gay men physically appealing. That implies a generalization about gay men's appearances.

I find some gay men physically attractive as well, but- unlike what she said in her post- my attraction is because they're guys, not because they're gay.

Updated On: 11/25/06 at 03:18 PM

[Yankeefan007]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 3:29pm

http://www.newsday.com/entertainment/stage/am-company26,0,3551791.story?page=2&coll=ny-theater-headlines

An article in NY Newsday about the "marriages" of the company of Company. An interesting read as it profiles Raul (without sounding crude) from the heterosexual perspective.

[popular_elphie]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 3:33pm

Referring to what MB said about the young female attraction to actors like Manoel and Raul - from my perspective, being one of those young girls (though I've never been a huge fan of either, but have admired them), is that they have a certain sensitivity to them. For example, Manoel is a musician, and girls my age definitely find that attractive. Also, the roles that Manoel and Raul have played have a certain sensitivity factor to them. The characters they play aren't exactly the tough guys or the bad boys. They are both intellectual men and go for smart roles.

Anyways, that was a beautiful interview. A congratulations to Raul for putting himself out there.

[Shiksa Goddess2]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 3:50pm

I'd like to mention (add my two cents, if you will), that I started liking Raul after hearing TTB (though it was when he was already in Chitty that I first heard the cast recording). I am 19 years old, and have had my share of “crushes” on the Matt Damon/Ben Affleck types when I was 13-15, but I’m a bit more mature about the ‘stars’ I follow these days (and by follow, I mean in the news, I don’t stalk ). I'd say I really was hooked to Raul after listening to the Downstage Center interview, where I couldn't see him, and didn't listen to him sing, but purely heard him talk about his work- how he goes about becoming the characters he performs as. After that, the physical attraction came, I'll be honest, the first time I saw a picture of him I thought "well, he's not very cute, oh well", but of course, that has nothing to do with talent, and now I am very sexually attracted to him, and I'm not sure when that happened.

As for the broody dangerous bisexual man that teens all seem to love- that never entered my mind with Raul until much later, I never thought of him as having a dark, troubled past until I read this article, honestly- at least not the this extent. The bisexual thing- well, I'm bi too, and I guess I am drawn to those who love on a basis of mind and personality, not just looks and sex, I think pretty much everyone has the potential of being bisexual, if they look deep within themselves. I greatly admire Raul for coming out, but not anymore than I already did, and I’ll continue to follow his work, whether I’m 35 and married, or 19 and single.

Anyway, this is probably OT by now anyway, just wanted to add my opinion!

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 4:08pm

Raul never says in the interview that he's bisexual.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 4:11pm

What's striking to me about the article, as I just read it again, is how even though he took such a big step with this, he manages to continue to maintain a level of ambiguity and privacy -- he still dodges labels. That in itself is very complicated, but it's interesting.

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 4:32pm

Thank you Kerrie.

Yes, Skittles it was a generalization--to me, generalizations mean most, not all. Of course I know some unattractive gay men.

I mean if I say I like shows, to me that wouldn't mean I'm saying I like every single show ever made, but I like most shows.

"I find some gay men physically attractive as well, but- unlike what she said in her post- my attraction is because they're guys, not because they're gay."

Well, they are MEN so I kind of thought it went without saying that I am attracted to them because of their gender Okay I would totally fence hop for Sarah Ramirez and Rachel York, but that's besides the point...

Updated On: 11/25/06 at 04:32 PM

[uncageg]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 4:33pm

luvtheEmcee. I noticed that also. And he is involved with an actor but still trying to figure out his marriage.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 4:35pm

The passage about figuring it out confused me a little bit; I don't really understand if they're still trying to work through the marriage, or just find a way to remain in each others' lives, or what. He discusses the separation as an end, which has a definitely sense of finality to it, and does indeed have a boyfriend (to use the term loosely, I guess), so who knows? Not that it's anybody's business, but it was oddly phrased.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 5:47pm

I get the impression that he's clinging to his marriage for the sake of his family and friends. To all intents and purposes, the marriage is over.

Updated On: 11/25/06 at 05:47 PM

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 6:40pm

Well, that made me almost cry. Good for you, Raul.

I think others have already said everything I would want to and more about the Raul/ Mano subject, but, personally, I have only seen Raul in Chitty. I fell in love with his voice and his intensity. There's something about his eyes that just make it impossible to look away. The physical attraction came after I fell in love with his voice, and, like skittles said, for the people who have known about this, it hasn't changed our admiration for or attraction to him. He's just incredible.

Updated On: 11/25/06 at 06:40 PM

[Muhlethaler]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 6:51pm

I'm quite shocked. Okay, I'm lying. I always thought he was a closeted gay man. But I'm shocked that he chose to come out in the New York Times. I don't really know what I think about that... But what I do know is that I admire him even more now. Not because he came out publicly - that's not the point - but because he seems to be coming to terms with himself, an experience that most people avoid. I wish him all the best.

[DonelBee]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:22pm

Is it possible that a large part of the attractiveness derives from the ability (and the courage) to project "vulnerability"? I'm surprised that this word hasn't been used yet in this discussion.

[Toon]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:22pm

I get the impression that he's clinging to his marriage for the sake of his family and friends. To all intents and purposes, the marriage is over.

Perhaps. But keep in mind that there is a lot of history there. They've known each other almost half their lives and they've been through a lot together. And he does seem to love her. It's hard to walk away from that.

[Yankeefan007]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:24pm

The problem is that he can't have his cake and eat it, too.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:36pm

This is beginning to get into the territory that I'm uncomfortable with talking about -- we, as people who know very little about him sort of trying to decide what's "right." But without saying too much, I've always gotten the impression both from what he's put out in public and from other places that he absolutely adores her -- that they're best friends, as he says. There's still a lot there. So wanting to stay in her life and have her in his is very, very different from trying to make work a marriage that they both seem to know can't. What I'm trying to discern -- and what's unclear in the article -- is what's going to happen; having his cake and eating it too, I think, would be staying in his marriage and screwing guys on the side, which has long been the situtation. Wanting to maintain a relationship of some kind with someone he clearly does love in some capacity, to me, isn't that -- it's not the same as what's been going on for years in terms of trying to "make it work." He seems to be acknowledging that as a marriage, it is over, and that he's coming to terms with his sexual identity, whatever it may be, but the phrasing in the part that says they're trying to figure it out is puzzling. No matter what, is it a LOT to dig through.

Updated On: 11/27/06 at 07:36 PM

[StageManager2]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:36pm

Exactly, Yankeefan. If he wants to be with this actor, then there's no room for the marriage... unless his wife approves and they set up some sort of living arrangement.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:40pm

I think that's how it was for a whille, and this whole epiphany of sorts signifies going one way or the other, not both? I don't really know.

[Ariella]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:44pm

It's difficult to say, and I don't want to speculate... But Raul nonetheless impressed me as he always does in that interview.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:49pm

Emcee: I was being sarcastic in the last part there. However, something's got to give.

Updated On: 11/25/06 at 07:49 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:52pm

Well, it's not out of the realm of possibility.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 7:59pm

So much for him being a "private" person. That's over now. You gotta feel for the wife - I sure wouldn't want that splashed all over the New York Times if I were her.

Not to mention the producers and press agent(s) of COMPANY.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 8:03pm

The Company people would have to clear this first, wouldn't they?

I think he did this in a pretty tasteful way, though. Yes, it's personal, but I don't think all bets are off for his privacy. Considering what this could have been, it's pretty tame. By doing it, he obviously does open himself up to a lot of backlash and he also opens up the public gossip channels, but really the latter are just going to rear their heads now from their previous underground homes. So in that sense, much of his privacy is shot, but I still think if he's careful, he can try keep his relationships out of the public eye and maintain that very "strictly business" persona he's usually about, if he chooses to. There's a lot of ugly stuff that that article doesn't even touch with a ten-foot pole.

Updated On: 11/25/06 at 08:03 PM

[erinrebecca]

Posted: 11/25/06 at 8:06pm

skittles is right. He doesn't say he's bisexual, and, frankly, he probably isn't. He had his first relationship with a man while he was in college, which is pretty typical. It seems that from family pressures he attempted to live the life they wanted for him so he married. He and his wife have been living apart for a long time and it's no secret to those who know him in the theatre world that he's been involved with men over the years.

I didn't get the impression that there's any issue of him trying to 'fix' his marriage, but more it's a case of trying to figure out, maybe through therapy?, as to why he even married her in the first place. He's obviously conflicted but I don't see anything here other than a situation that many men face after denying, for whatever reasons, who they truly are and attempting to lead a more 'traditional' and acceptable life. He's very close to his wife, which is not unusual at all, even in a situation where he's now coming out publicly.