Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.? — Page 2

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#26

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/17/07 at 2:48am

Having had respected acting teachers in their seventies and eighties who were always referred to by their first names, I find it hard to address people "in the biz" as Miss/Ms./Mrs./Mr. beyond the initial greeting. You can guage who you can or cannot use the familiar with. When I met Ms. Carlisle Hart, I never dreamed of calling her "Kitty". If I met J-Lo, you couldn't beat a "Miss Lopez" outta me. But better safe than sorry, give them the chance to say, "Please, call me (first name)."

#27

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/17/07 at 5:13am

I'm another one of those people who avoids the subject altogether when face-to-face. Again, because it's a little creepy to bust out a "hey, First-name!" but also a little off to start with "hey, Mr/Ms Last-name!". (Also it could be magnificently embarrassing if you mispronounce their names to their faces. I live in permanent fear of mispronouncing names. O_O) The way that works best for me is a polite "excuse me", and then work from there. I usually avoid referring to MOST people by name, actually, theatre performer or no, because I have verbal diarrhoea and am highly likely to start singing a song with their name in it. The guys at work LOVE me! ;D

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#28

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/17/07 at 5:34am

I would say that I go with the first name about 90% of the time and the PROFESSIONAL last name the rest of the time.

An actor's name is just as much a part of his/her professional suite as their voice, face, etc. I only know them on a professional basis and so it is this name that I use. It doesn't matter if I refer to them by their first name or their last name with a prefix - it's still the professional name and it's perfectly all right to use it.

I would never, in a million years, refer to Sutton Foster as Mrs. Borle. Calling her Mrs. anything feels artificially stiff and formal for her and Mrs. Borle is her personal, not professional name. On the same hand, I would never, in a million years, refer to Vanessa Redgrave as Vanessa. I would (and have) called her sister Lynn. It just fits with the persona reflected by that individual.

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#29

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/17/07 at 6:33am

Maybe I come from a different time, but were I to meet Sutton Foster for the first time, it would be "Ms. Foster", until she gives me permission to call her "Sutton". I mean, please, it's just good manners, folks.

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#30

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/17/07 at 8:51am

I guess I was raised in that "different time." When I was about four, I got scolded by my foster-mother for addressing my seventy-five year old neighbor as "Tony." Never mind I was just repeating what I'd been hearing from others, included my playmate.

But I think it's also about respect...regardless of which form of address. You can address someone as Mrs. or Mr. So-and-So and say it in such a way that it's snide. Or you can address them by their first name with sincere respect.

Now, there are certain people I cannot imagine addressing by first names unless they told me to...if, for example, I met Julie Andrews or Stephen Sondheim, I couldn't see calling saying "Nice to meet you, Julie" or "Hi Stephen."

But, at stage doors, it's always been casual enough that I've never addressed people too formally. I can't imagine saying, "Mr. Jacoby" or "Mr. Cerveris" at "Sweeney Todd." When I went, it was Mark and Michael. Informal, but still with respect.

The first time I talked to Hugh Panaro, my friend and I quite timidly addressed him as "Mr. Panaro." Before we finished the sentence, he'd stopped us with, "No, I'm just Hugh."

I think it's something that just varies from person to person.

As for people referring to the actors by the character's names...that bugs me, too. Especially since the people doing it usually have the Playbill right in hand to be signed. Would it be so hard to peek inside and check for their names?

Though my favorite was at the Majestic...I was leaving through the alley and a woman with a kid came up to me. I figured she was going to ask me if "the Phantom" was coming out to sign. Instead, she asked me, "Is Mr. Crawford coming out to sign autographs?" Forget checking the Playbill, someone needs to check a calendar.

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#31

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/18/07 at 11:45am

I'm with SeanMartin on this one. Use the first name only when the person gives you permission. But that's my good-British-upbringing talking.

#32

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/18/07 at 1:19pm

When writing a letter, I always begin with Dear Ms. or Mr. _______. As for in person, I'm ambivilent. I once tried to catch an actor's attention while he left the stage door by calling "Mr. _____?". It felt strange. He seemd gracious and appreciative but I felt very conscious that I was interviewing him or something.

#33

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/18/07 at 4:44pm

As far as meeting someone at a stage door goes (other situations are sort of a whole different animal), realistically, I think there's a little bit more wiggle room in person, because in the midst of potential chaos, people aren't going to be thinking or paying particular attention to what you call them. Most often, don't people just sort of go with the "hey you!" approach in a stage door setting, anyway? I suppose it's pretty dependent on the person, though -- some certainly give off vibes that they want people to be fairly comfortable around them, but I think there are others where you just sort of know you shouldn't try calling them by their first name, out of respect. An extreme example, but would you call Julie Andrews by her first name? I think not. Not to say that you less famous people deserve less respect, or something -- that's kind of absurd -- but I think it's somehow a bit of a status symbol. I think a lot of cases, basic common social sense and etiquette would tell you what's okay and what's not; it's hard to explain, but I think there are a lot of situations where you just sort of know that it's acceptable to call someone by his or her first name and do what feels right. And if you're meeting someone for the first time and you're unsure, then it's probably smart to try going more formal, which is probably what everyone would always do in an ideal world; if you don't call them by their first name, and it's okay to do so, they'll tell you. A friend of mine once approached Raúl Esparza, and called him "Mr. Esparza," but he just waved it off and told us "oh, no, call me Raúl!" So after that, I've felt comfortable calling him by his first name.

I think the original post asked about letters, too. A lot of people just feel sort of awkward address people as Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. so-and-so in person. Letters themselves are sort of inately more formal, so I think in a letter it's probably more standardly appropriate -- and in turn less awkward -- to address someone formally.

Whatever you do, the most important thing is obviously to be polite and respectful, which I think it's perfectly possible to do even when you call someone by his or her first name. At the end of the day, give respect and you'll get it back.

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Updated On: 1/18/07 at 04:44 PM

#34

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/18/07 at 4:53pm

Unless they have been introduced to you (by a mutual friend or acquaintance) by their first name, or have introduced themselves that way, call them Ms. or Mr. You don't know them, and have no right to be familiar unless that right is given to you.

Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#35

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/18/07 at 5:22pm

At the Sweeney stage door I called all of the actors Mr or Ms, including Lauren Molina who is in fact younger than I. It is just a matter of resepct. You are not their friend, you are not being introduced by a friend, so use their last name at the stage door.

On the road of life, do not pause for suicidal chipmunks who freeze in your headlights, seeking death by your tires...

#36

re: Speaking to actors- first name/Mr./Mrs./Ms.?

Posted: 1/18/07 at 5:25pm

I actually agree with winston. They are people, just like you. Don't treat them like you go way back if you've just met them, but you can still be polite calling them by their first name.

This shouldn't be a big thing. Are the actors really going to say, "I cannot believe they didn't address me as Mr./Mrs. ______! What disrespect!" Please.

The only thing I would say is DON'T call them by their character name (though I'm sure none of us Broadway fans do). That's not who they are.

#37

speaking to actors- first name/mr./mrs./ms.?

Posted: 1/18/07 at 5:28pm

i usually just go with "hey, monkey-boy" or "yo, split-tail!"

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#38

speaking to actors- first name/mr./mrs./ms.?

Posted: 1/18/07 at 6:01pm

I only call actors by their first names if they have somehow indicated to me that it's ok, like if they introduce themselves as such, or correct me when I call them Ms. or Mr. (last name). If I can't remember a certain actor's name, but only their character (I had this problem at stagedoor for Company, when about 7 of the actors came out at the same time), I will still never call them by their character's name. One time I was at Rent's stagedoor when and a woman was trying to get Luther Creek's attention and said "Roger!". Thing was, he wasn't on as Roger, Tim Howar was, as normal. He just looked at her and said "Oh, he'll be out later." And left. How she mixed them up, I don't know. They look nothing alike.

#39

speaking to actors- first name/mr./mrs./ms.?

Posted: 1/18/07 at 6:03pm

well, they are people just like us, they just happen to make a living on broadway, so however you would address any other person

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