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The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

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#3

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

BAHHAHAHAHAHAH!

Don't take that the wrong way. I LOOOOOOOOOVE Sara Ramirez, but that picture is just priceless. Some people found it offensive that she was trying to keep her dress up all night, but I found it quite comical.
This is my signature.

Updated On: 6/9/05 at 02:44 PM

#4

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

Thank you Master! I STILL quote last year's one, it's pure evil and the funniest thing. Love it.
Nothing precious, plain to see, don't make a fuss over me. Not loud, not soft, but somewhere inbetween. Say sorry, just let it be the word you mean.
#5

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

The caption below Sara's picture is priceless.


Here we go...

9:16pm
The winner for Best Featured Actress in a Musical is Sara Ramirez of Spamalot, the new musical version of Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Though Ms. Ramirez is not yet well known, she likely soon will be due to her giant breasts. Jesus, those things are gigantic. She must've used a gallon of Crisco to get into that dress. When she gets up out of her chair, she gives her girls a big "UP WE GO" and barely makes it up to the podium. She seems cool though. And not just because of the, you know, GIANT BREASTS.

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read
This is my signature.

Updated On: 6/9/05 at 02:48 PM

#6

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

Oh my lord, I've only gotten as far as the Jerry Mitchell paragraph and I'm CRYING.
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson
#10

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

"Odd couple #1, Jeff Goldblum and Emmy Rossum, come out to present. Ms. Rossum seems to have turned into a mini Penélope Cruz—perkiness, giant head, tiny shoulders, teensy pencil neck, the whole works. Someone call inmigración! While Mr. Goldblum talks, Ms. Rossum fills all her "quiet time" with insipid, googly-eyed smiles and aimless clapping. Get this girl some posterboard and it'll be just like she's curbside at a high school cheerleaders' car wash."


hahahahhahahaha re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read
#12

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

GIANT BREASTS!!!

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

THEN ARETHA COMES OUT!! BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
"The Spectacle has, indeed, an emotional attraction of its own, but, of all the parts, it is the least artistic, and connected least with the art of poetry. For the power of Tragedy, we may be sure, is felt even apart from representation and actors. Besides, the production of spectacular effects depends more on the art of the stage machinist than on that of the poet."
--Aristotle
#13

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

I'd give anything to see Hugh Jackman enjoying the perks of buttsex.
The truly beautiful should be lawfully restricted from wearing clothing; and the truly butt-ugly should be lawfully mandated from going naked.
#14

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

LMAO "Okay, forget Alan Alda and Marcia Cross, this is the oddest match ever." "Oh no they did not just start holding hands."

hahahaha thanks for posting that
"It's the little things; the details, that distinguish the Barbra Streisands from the Rosalyn Kinds."~Gilmore Girls~
#15

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

I don't think I'm going to stop laughing until perhaps middle of next week sometime...
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson
#16

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

Regarding Marcia Cross:

She just stands there, emaciated body perfectly postured and symmetrical, zeroing her unwavering cyborg gaze directly at the camera, boring into the retinas of all 200 viewers who are still watching.
If anyone ever tells you that you put too much Parmesan cheese on your pasta, stop talking to them. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
#19

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

everyone's quoted my favourite parts: Aretha...Marcia Cross...giant breasts...

so much funny...so why harp on the gay Hugh Jackman thing (and everyone else the reviewer identitifed). Not to go down the path of the other thread...but it got really old.
#20

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

the sara ramierez thing is hilarious. so is this:

10:19pm
Oddest couple ever is actually there for a reason—to present Best Actress in a Play. I love Phylicia Rashad, but god I hope she doesn't win, lest we have another All About Eve moment like last year. As was widely predicted, Cherry Jones wins for Doubt. Before heading up to the podium, Ms. Jones gives her partner a big luscious lesbian lady-loving kiss. What is this, the CHENEY HOUSEHOLD??!?


LMAO. this is as far as ive gotten..must keep reading. lol.
#21

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

10:34pm
Jealous of all the attention that Sara Ramirez's giant breasts are getting, Aretha Franklin comes onstage and joins Mr. Jackman in full force. She amps up the breast wattage into uncharted territory, wearing a gold-emblazoned shower curtain bought at some Costco outside Marrakech, topped off with a red wig, about eighteen inches of cleavage, and five chins by my count. Okay, forget Alan Alda and Marcia Cross, this is the oddest match ever. Hugh and Aretha start belting (actually more gasping on her part), and it just does not work at all. Their voices don't match or blend or complement each other in the least. "There's a Place for Us"? Yeah, how about NOT ON MY TV.


ROTFLMFAO!!!
#23

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

Am I the only person that found this article offensive and ignorant?
(Martha Graham from a letter to Agnes de Mille) "There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening That is translated through you into action, And because there is only one of you in all time, This expression is unique. If you block it, It will never exist through any other medium And be lost. The world will never have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, Nor how valuable it is, Nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly, To keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware Directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, A blessed unrest that keeps us marching And makes us more alive than others."
#24

re: The ONLY Tony broadcast review you ever need to read

Probably.


I mean, i was a bit offended at the KT walrus comment, but I'll get over it.
Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

Updated On: 6/9/05 at 03:49 PM

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