I saw them on consecutive nights- first, the Lippa. It was stunningly directed, performed, and choreographed. One of my most engaging nights in a theater, and I still love the score. Brian D'Arcy James was the perfect mix of raw sexuality and barely contained violence, Julia Murney was astounding, Alix Korey was hysterical, and I even loved Idina (whom I normally find grating).
Then the other. Like Lippa's, it begins with the opening line of the poem: "Queenie was a blonde and her age stood still, and she danced twice a day in vaudeville." Then at the end of the opening, Toni Collette rips off her top and shakes her bare breasts.
WTF? You couldn't do that in vaudeville or even cheap burlesque. Then Mandy Patinkin happened. The worst, most infuriating performance I have ever witnessed. He tried to upstage everyone else- at one point during someone's solo he slowly walked across the stage DRINKING A BOTTLE OF EVIAN WATER. After one of Eartha Kitt's numbers (she was the only reason we stayed awake), Mandy kept trying to kill her applause. I mean, as soon as it began- jumping up and down, waving his arms, shouting... it only made everyone clap longer.
Once I checked my watch- it had an indiglo dial (remember those?) and people around me all looked my way. I mouthed "sorry!" (didn't know it would be so bright) and they mouthed back, "How much longer?"
"What- and quit show business?" - the guy shoveling elephant shit at the circus.