Crystal Meth -- Is it really surprising?

[rlbgbc]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:05am

This post has absolutely nothing to do with theatre -- well, perhaps peripherally. Just been thinking about this, and thought I would glean some opinions.

Firstly, I've always been the "sensible" one -- even as a teenager. Oh, I did some wild and stupid stuff, but I always knew not to push it to excess.

Recently, an old friend of mine re-connected with me. Back in "the day", this guy was talented (that's the theatre connection mentioned in paragraph 1), smart, beautiful, led the kind of life you dreamed of, and had more sex than I thought was humanly possible. However, somewhere along the line, he started doing tina. It was a gradual descent, but now he's starting life anew in his hometown, used and burned out, and filled with regret, self-hate, and thoughts of suicide at how he (in his own estimation, not mine) wasted his life through bad decisions. Decisions that were made solely to be "cool".

And I'm thinking: what kept me from doing that? I was presented with the same opportunities, temptations, etc., but chose never to go that route -- and I could have, quite easily. Was it the little voice in my head? Was it pure fortuitious happenstance? Or was it good ol' common sense? I dunno. There were many times that I felt woefully out of the "popular crowd" in my late teens/20s, but I never crossed the line into doing something I instinctively knew would have serious repercussions. He did..and is paying for it now.

If only the youngsters would listen to us old-timers, huh? More often than not, we turn out to be right.


Updated On: 6/21/05 at 10:05 AM

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:11am

Never underestimate the effect of some good old-fashioned fear - which can frequently be a life-saver.

[jacobtsf]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:12am

I am going through the same things you went through, and, although peer pressure is extremely powerful, I do not believe I will ever "cross the line into doing something I instinctively know will have serious repercussions"-as you put it.
Young adults are not as "uncontrolled" as many adults think we are. It truly is a small number of us that is giving all teenagers a bad name.

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:17am

Wow - great post. One of those "there but for the grace of God go I" stories. I'm sure there are numerous studies done on why we make the choices we do in life and I'm also sure that the reasons are as varied as humans themselves. I'm glad for your sake that you walked the path you did. I've seen so many turn out like your friend.

[nmartin]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:18am

Jacob, Thank God you never fell into that trap. I've known far too many people who have including myself. Support your friend all you can. His hole is a deep one to crawl out of. But he can do it. I did.

[robbiej]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:27am

Drug use is a fascinating thing with no real, hard answers (although many think there are). There really are people who can and do take drugs rarely and recreationally, always being as responsible as one could whilst doing something well...illegal. I remember my mid-twenties (it wasn't particularly long ago), and there was a time a group of us would dabble in things. Most of us were able to simply keep it something done very, very rarely. And others developed a problem (though not like what you've described, rlb). I would never, EVER advocate drug use. But everyone who has ever taken a drug is not an addict. Perhaps it's cause I've never done Tina and it's a completely different experience, with a vice-like hold. And for THAT I count myself very lucky.

[midtowngym]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:32am

I recently came across this picture. It speaks for itself.

http://www.nyblade.com/2005/6-17/news/national/methmouth.cfm

Updated On: 6/21/05 at 10:32 AM

[rlbgbc]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:39am

Good point, robbie --- not everyone who's done drugs is an addict. I'm one of those. Like you, I did a few things, smoked a few things, snorted a few things -- I'm no saint, believe you me. I do have an internal mechanism, I think, that tells me when enough is enough when it comes to drink, drugs, etc. Probably part of that comes from watching a family member drink themselves into the ground, and seeing the effect it had on the rest of us left behind.

I also think -- and pardon the armchair psychology -- that as far as gay youth go, sometimes it's the thrill of breaking free of familial bonds when you get out on your own -- in college or wherever. Couple that with low self-esteem and a retarded maturation process when it comes to sex and relationships -- and there's a fire waiting to ignite.

I've always been curious about the special thrill of tina, though. What makes it so f*cking addictive?

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:51am

Tina is more highly addictive than other drugs. It hooks people who were able to use other drugs "recreationally."

I have lost two friends to Tina. Both are still alive--barely. They have pushed their friends away, they have lost their jobs, their apartments, their families. It's as if they have become vampires.

Updated On: 6/21/05 at 10:51 AM

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:54am

This is an interesting conversation. I, myself, never got into drugs. I drank a bit in my 20's (peer pressure, probably), but decided it was not for me. I think my case may have to do with good parenting (something sorely missing today.). My parents raised me to love myself and believe in myself and so I never felt the need to do anything to alter or "enhance" my own particular good mood. I've always believed you can find beauty in the world enough to make you happy, without having to alter your state of consciousness. That's just my own particular take on life - but I think that there are just too many good things about the world we live in - things to enjoy every day, like a beautiful sunset or a piece of wonderful music (like Light in The Piazza)...I just don't feel the need for chemicals of any kind to make me happy or make me feel better than I do on a daily basis.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 10:59am

We have a friend of the family that was producing and distributing meth in Kansas, he will likely go away for a long time. It has destroyed his family and life.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:04am

just in personal experience, i found crack to have a much greater potential for addiction than meth, but as meth was and is much more socially acceptable, the problem hits closer to home for a lot of folks than crack.

[Love4Cheno]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:10am

What I find surprising and appalling is that even though we have this information, there is a trend in the NYC gay community of using tina and having unprotected sex.

Not having done hard drugs (I do drink), I can't comment on the appeal. But I do know one person who was infected with HIV after snorting tina and having sex.

Sad and scary stuff.

[loco6722]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:16am

going back to what redhot said about good parenting...

im an identical twin. we grew up in the same house, with the same friends. same parental influences. the only thing different about our lives before college was that she started working at a specific job a couple of years before me.

were as different as night and day. while id rather spend my money seeing shows and concerts, shed rather spend it drinking and smoking with her friends. our environment growing up was practically the same, yet our lives are anything but. so i guess my question is how much of a bearing on their kids decisions do you think a parent has? i seriously think wed be a great case study lol

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:21am

Excellent post... I only gave in to smoking as a teen, and continue trying to quit. I did have the temptations of drugs, but having an alcoholic father and a drug addicted brother, I knew in some part of my head that I'd go the same path, so I steered clear of most drugs. I do drink, though not as much as I'd like and tried 420 a couple of times, but didn't handle it well.

[robbiej]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:22am

In my experience, every time I've made the unwise choice of having unprotected sex (not many times at all, but still a few), I was never 'altered' in any way. Whenever I was on something and then proceeded to have sex, there was this little voice in my head that was adamant about safe behavior. But, then again, I've never done tina.

When I tested negative a couple of years ago after a small scare, I was invited to join a sort of therapy/support group that was for HIV negative men who wished to discuss ways to make better decisions in order to keep negative. One guy spoke of the one time he did tina. He described it as such an amazing experience, the entire group was like, 'Damn, we should try that!' The counsellors (sp?) were NOT pleased!

[rlbgbc]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:24am

It's interesting when you're talking about effective parenting, isn't it? Sure, I think I was raised in a stable household...a helluva lot more stable than some of my contemporaries. We had our problems, but we all got by.

I'm amazed when I catch a bit of these shows like SUPERNANNY and NANNY 911. These kids are little hellions -- hitting their parents, climbing all over the furniture, throwing tantrums, cussing, etc. I sit there with my mouth gaping open, because...

if I had ever acted like that, I woulda been killed. Pure and simple. Or at least slapped into next week.

And I didn't turn out to be a serial killer, so I guess there is something to having a little discipline, huh?

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:24am

Yeah, I'd say a lot of people who were brought up in the house in which I was could have ended up a lot worse off. Basic personality counts for a lot - that fear that was mentioned - I have always had that.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:27am

was there a field trip that followed, robbie?

worse, rath?

[robbiej]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:44am

Oh no...but I've been thinking about a one-man show based on the experience. Except confidentiality issues keep me from going forward.

Updated On: 6/21/05 at 11:44 AM

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 11:55am

Tina is the biggest drug problem going on today...

Why, because it's cheap, and the high lasts for a lot longer than cocaine. It's a very easy trap to fall into because, when you start using it, you feel like you can accomplish anything (and usually do, like cleaning your house from top to bottom with a toothbrush). But, when you come down, it's a powerful crash. So, you begin to use a little more then a little more, but you never again get that feeling of empowerment.

I'm can say that in my younger days, I fell into this trap. I finally stopped after reading an article about what Meth is made out of. The list of ingedients will shock you. The biggest shock was rat poison. I decided then and there to stop. I spent a week in bed and cleaned out my system. I've never looked back.

Be there for your friend, he may act like he doesn't want you there, but he will come to a point where he needs someone to talk to. I didn't have that. I kept it private and it really hurt not having anyone to turn to. But, DON'T become a crutch to him. Offer love and support, but he's going to have to go through some dark moments before he see's the light at the end of the tunnel.

Good Luck to you both.

[DAME]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 12:02pm

Diva hon.
I went through a very similar experience. It was first introduced to me a few years ago by someone I had a crush on. Yes it was euphoric. yes I had the most amazing sex that went on for ever. But like you I immediately did a little research on it and found out what it was made off. I spent a week in bed crashing badly and have never gone near it again. It is still rampant out here in the gay community in Los Angeles. But the movement against it is now huge.

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 12:05pm

rlb - interestingly enough, I was NOT raised in a stable household - far from it. My parents divorced when I was about six-an-a-half and my mother remarried two years later to a manic depressive with two hellions for children - just a few years older than me - who made my life a living hell - torturing me physically and emotionally, but for some reason, my mother's very strong sense of self and moral values became imbedded in me and I survived and left those relationships a stronger and healthier person.

[DAME]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 12:09pm

I wanted to add.. that Diva and I were really lucky that we were able to walk away from it. It is a lot more complicated than that for most people. And if you have never tried it... DON'T. It will ruin your life.

[rlbgbc]

Posted: 6/21/05 at 12:14pm

Very interesting, the comments about how meth enhances sex. For that reason and that reason alone, I get down on my knees, thanking the powers-that-be that I never dabbled in it. I was somewhat of a sexual compulsive personality in my 20s/early 30s, and if I had found something that amplified the feelings during sex, I would have been a goner for sure. Now I'm a little older and wiser, so I know better.