My roommate just told me "gay rights will come eventually...why do I have to do anything?"

[CapnHook]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 1:08am

I invited my roommate on Facebook to the Equality March on Washington Mall this October and he rejected the invitation. I asked him why and he said he has an internship. I told him it was a Saturday/Sunday. He said he'd probably be busy. Obviously, he was making excuses and we both knew it, so I asked him why he really didn't want to go, and he told me that "protesting, chanting, shouting, and such" really wasn't his thing.

To an extent, I could understand. But he has never been to a rally or protest before. I asked if he didn't think the cause was worth it, and he said that his going to the protest wouldn't have any affect.

I then proposed the argument that if everyone thought that way, no one would show up. And if everyone went, there would be a huge turnout. If every single American citizen who believes in equal rights were to show up, there would be MILLIONS. In that "best-case" scenario, I would imagine that Washington would act much sooner, no? Regardless, my roommate retorted "but that's not the case and one less person won't make a difference. I'll support you from here."

I then asked him if he had called our Senator like I had asked him to do two weeks ago via Facebook. He hadn't. He said he "believes that gays should have equal rights" but that anything he didn't wouldn't mean ****. He said "gay rights will come eventually, why do I have to do anything?"

Of course, I brought up the women rights movement and civil rights movement, and he said those days are over and protesting doesn't work anymore. I responded "it doesn't work anymore because people think the way you do about protesting."

It was the first time I have ever fought with my roommate and I feel like ****. Am I out of line? I can't think clearly at the moment...

[wizard2joe]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 1:13am

I totally on your side.
Probally your roommate is very negative person.
Obviously he doesnt care about anything.

[CapnHook]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 1:25am

He cares it's just where is that 'line' that you cross where you don't care enough? And not just him, but EVERYONE! Think about all of your friends, family, and co-workers who are for equal rights for GLBT people. Yes, they will say their beliefs, but why not fight for what they believe in? Even something as simple as writing an e-mail...they won't do it! It boggles my mind.

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 1:27am

I think Gavin Creel answered that question the best.

[bschneid76]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 6:39am

I'm not really a rally/protest person either, but I have found other ways to help the cause, such as sending letters to Senators, even if it was to no avail. At least I was doing something. Usually Rally's are on Sundays when I am at work, or during the day time, when I am at work, so I have to miss them. But if he feels he is too busy to even write a letter then there is a problem. Find a link to one of the Senators and see if he could send a quick email expressing his opinions, if he fails with that, then he really has no desire to help.

He sounds like one of those folks who feel that it we wait, things will be handed to us, which of course is not the case.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 6:55am

This is nothing new. You cannot MAKE another person care "enough". It has to come from them, and in their own time. There are and have always BEEN apathetic people. Not everyone says or does the right thing.

I understand your frustration, but if he's your friend you need to accept what he is capable of offering: knowing that he is "ok" with rights. It's really no different then him not understanding why you DO think it's worthwhile to make noise about it.

I'm sure I don't DO as much as I could. But I am a very vocal supporter of Gay Rights. I've had wonderful conversations with my students AND their parents and make no bones about where I stand. Can I make a commitment to a protest in October that is 500 miles away. Nope. I'm a single mom and expenses are tight. I do what I can, where I can. Perhaps is believing it will happen is the most he can do.

[nmartin]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 7:04am

" I've had wonderful conversations with my students AND their parents and make no bones about where I stand."

I also teach. If I did that, not that I would, there would be a MAJOR problem.

[mgcproductions]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 7:19am

i think it is wonderful what you did.
yes it sucks that you and your roomate got in an argument but you have now planted in his mind how important it is to stand up for equality.
http://www.broadwayimpact.com/ is a great way to get started in your move to getting equality.
they phone bank with HRC all the time and will be marching in this years pride parade.
keep up the good work and someday your roomate along with the rest of the world, will come around. :)

[TimesSquareRegular]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 9:48am

People who do "nothing" are actually assuming a lot of responsibility, for example:

They are responsible for allowing fag jokes.

They are responsible for allowing anti-gay comments to still be "acceptable" for so many ignorant people.

They are responsible for allowing qualified military personnel to be drummed out of the service, even when their skills (Arabic translators, etc) are important to our national security.

They are responsible for allowing thugs to think it's perfectly okay to bash, maim and kill a fag every now and then.

By doing NOTHING, your roomate is simply enabling the enemies of equal rights.

[Patronus]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 9:52am

Maybe the ladies from The View could convince him?

While I agree with your sentiments, you can't force people to be passionate about your cause(s). There are the difference makers and there are watchers and pacifists.
Updated On: 6/16/09 at 09:52 AM

[Weez]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 9:56am

I would be incorrect if I decided to nickname your roommate "the gay Rosa Parks" then? What depressing apathy.

[Roscoe]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 11:27am

Oh, yeah, the familiar "Good Things Come To Those Who Wait" argument. It is rather popular with certain folks on BWW too.

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 11:34am

mgc, are you really shameful enought that you would pimp your horrible webshow in this thread?

[mgcproductions]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 6:14pm

i never said anything about my webshow in this thread...i posted a link to broadway impact...the group headed by gavin creel.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 6:17pm

I HATE HRC. But I love Gavin Creel! WOOOOO!

[mgcproductions]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 6:20pm

gavin along with rory o'malley & jenny kanelos have worked so hard on broadway impact.
the reason HRC was involved is because HRC & the mayor lent their campaign headquarters for phone banking.
if you can get involved do it! they are great and have really made an impact on the ny senate and how it will vote.
gavin has used his status to get equality out there.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 8:19pm

I hate HRC too but they wrote a kick-ass letter to the president.

Capn--tell your roomie that hot guys come to demonstrations and you've heard everyone has hot post-demo sex afterward.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 8:24pm

Capt,

Next time you room mate brings home a date, you should grill the hell out of the guy.

Ask all sorts of humiliating questions, tell him things about your roomie (like he's had warts, doesn'tmatter if it's true or not) and chase him out.

Then, turn to you roomie and say, "See what happenes when you don't stand up for your rights?"

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 11:01pm

I'm not following? What if the roommate punches him in the face?

[CapnHook]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 11:16pm

My roommate is a straight male.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 6/16/09 at 11:34pm

Oh gosh, I hate to break it to you if you didn't already know this, but most people don't get riled up about things unless it applies to them. It's totally human nature.

[winston89]

Posted: 6/17/09 at 12:30pm

FindingNamo, I think that Namo is unfortunatly right. Regardless of the cause the people who seem to be the most vocal about it are the ones that are impacted by it directly. Sure, there can and should be people who aren't directly impacted by equal rights be it that they are straight etc but that doesn't mean that they can't support the cause and fight the same fight. It is just that someone who is more impacted by this directly is more likely to be more vocal then those who aren't.

My friend invted me to go with him and his boyfriend to a rally in the city. I told him tht he is aware about how strongly I feel about this and how I agree with his views to the umpteenth degree. But, I wasn't sure if I should go because I am straight and he and his boyfriend reminded me that it doesn't matter what your orentation is. But, so long as your there and your one of many people using their voices then your going to make an impact.

And to the OP. I can see where your roomate is comming from. There are some pople who feel that protesting isn't going to do anything. Hell, there are times where I feel that way depending on the situaton.

And, there are and have been rallys that I wish that I could go to but I was too busy and I found that by writing a letter to my senator etc to be a much more personal experence. This is because I spent the last few years doing political internships and it had me reach out to people who I know personally and who's views I know very well and that they are someone who knows my views very well as well.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 6/17/09 at 12:42pm

nothing comes without someone doing something.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:55pm

You should have mentioned he was straight in the OP.

That just means he doesn't give a **** about you,or your rights.

[Roscoe]

Posted: 6/18/09 at 12:57pm

What's the big deal. After all, good things come to those who wait.