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Serious Discussion-Stress and Psych Disorders- Page 13

Serious Discussion-Stress and Psych Disorders

bwaysinger Profile Photo
bwaysinger
#300re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:27am

You might be joking, SOMMS, but maybe not because it's a legitimate source of body image for men.

SonofMammaMiaSam Profile Photo
SonofMammaMiaSam
#301re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:29am

Actually, not a joke. I was a GQ subscriber for over 20 years and did work with them when I was a buyer at Saks. Even when I was thin, I felt FAT.

bwaysinger Profile Photo
bwaysinger
#302re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:31am

I can believe it. And with "photo altering" gimics like airbrushing, you simply create an image of a human being that is almost impossible to attain.

kissmycookie Profile Photo
kissmycookie
#303re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:32am

Or look at Men's Health...

Makes me feel as if I never do enough....

JailyardGuy Profile Photo
JailyardGuy
#304re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:32am

God, where to even start with this one....(great topic, by the by!)

This is something I have struggled with as long as I can remember, and I have done some pretty extreme things to myself because of it. It's such a frustrating and awful thing to deal with, and I often wonder how many people are *actually* seriously affected by it. I think EVERYONE to some extent dislike something about themselves, but how many people have a serious problem with it?

*ponders*


Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you. Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.

NYadgal Profile Photo
NYadgal
#305re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:33am

Not to mention age... the supermodels are all so much younger than the situations they are portraying.

The part that intrigues me about this conversation is the objectification of the body, and the issues of self-respect (or lack thereof) which are inherent in that.


"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."

kissmycookie Profile Photo
kissmycookie
#306re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:35am

And, models and actors are paid to look as they do. Not to mention, they've got the time to "work" on how they look. The rest of us don't.

NYadgal Profile Photo
NYadgal
#307re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:35am

So, how does that make us feel? And how do we react to that?


"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."

Rathnait62 Profile Photo
Rathnait62
#308re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:37am

This one hits home for me - recently I auditioned for an Equity staged reading of a musical where they were looking for "plus-size" performers. I sang, did my monologue, read from the script, and they called me back. I was very excited, knowing I had been competing with Equity members, and as you all know, I'm new at this. It was great to finally find something I fit physically, so that I knew whether or not I was cast was truly about my talent.

When I got to the callback, I was 50+ lbs. lighter than all my competition, and of course, did not get cast. I had a difficult night that night - I'm too heavy for "normal" roles, and too thin for "plus-size" roles. I had to decide what to do - gain weight or lose? And why can't I just be what I am?


Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

bwaysinger Profile Photo
bwaysinger
#309re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:37am

Hmm. I suppose it's with a little reluctance I admit I've objectified the "hollywood/model idea" while hating my own body. Always.
Even doing the things I've done recently to make it more like I want it to be have left me very unsatisfied.

colleen_lee
#310re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:37am

This is a big killer for me. I am perfectionist to no end. I must be the best at EVERYTHING. So, I see these women who are genetically almost perfect to begin with, and then they start to airbrush every flaw out of the bitches and it destroys me, because if I am not THAT perfect than I am worthless (yes, we all know I have self-esteem issues here, thanks). Bah. Even when I've been "skinny" (which I am definitely not right now) I've gone to extremes to try to lose weight because it's never quite enough.


"You just can't win. Ever. Look at the bright side, at least you are not stuck in First Wives Club: The Musical. That would really suck. " --Sueleen Gay

kissmycookie Profile Photo
kissmycookie
#311re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:38am

I've accepted it.

I "do" enough as it is. I need time for other things.

And besides, I like my food. I'm not giving up anything!

KelRel Profile Photo
KelRel
#312re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:40am

It sickens me, I need to loose weight, not because society tells me so, but because I tell me so. I'm not happy so I am busting my ass, literally, at the gym. I am being more aware of what I eat and am trying not to stress about it too much. I used to think that looking like that was something that I coudl attain "one day". I know, now, that honestly there is no way for my body type to ever look like that. Its insane to even begin to ponder trying to attain that size. Its unhealthy and unrealistic. I saw s short little think on the Disney channel I think where a model took a girl to a shoot and went through the process with her. The model looked like crap (by model standards) when she first met the girl, by the end she looked amazing. She showed the girl how they airbrush things, edited her legs so that they looked longer and moved her eyes closer together because hers were a little too wide set. It was insane. I think that they need to advertise things like that more often, because young girls who don't know any better do horrible things to themselves to look like their favorite model.


"All the while making faces like a baby platypus who forget to take some Beano before eating a chimichanga." FindingNamo in reference to Jessica Simpson's singing.

JailyardGuy Profile Photo
JailyardGuy
#313re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:41am

Amen. I often wonder why it is that we even care so much, if we're never satisfied anyway. I mean, if there are people who look, for example, like Cookie (for those who have never met him, he has one of the most perfect male bodies I have ever seen) saying "Makes me feel as if I never do enough....", then why on earth would the rest of us even *bother*? If we're constantly going to be thinking "I could always have just one more inch on the biceps" or "god, If I could lose another pound, I'd be perfect!" and then you *do* lose that pound, and you STILL feel like you did before...then why?

(Apparently all that therapy didn't help as much as I thought!)


Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you. Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.

Jane2 Profile Photo
Jane2
#314re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:41am

I'm not nor have ever been in the "impressionable stage" where I could be influenced by anyone else's opinions about anything. However, we're all painfully aware that many young, and OLDER people are directly affected by the fashion and Hollywood images of skinny women (and men) as being the only way to be accepted, desired, popular, and of course, sexy. I always wonder, how did a handful of fashion designers get that much power? How do they still have that power, knowing that their image of the perfect body only exists in a tiny tiny percentage of the population? There doesn't ever seem to be a backlash against these designers, only the continuing adoration of them.


<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES

NYadgal Profile Photo
NYadgal
#315re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:42am

There is a theory known as Objectification Theory.

The premise is that internalizing a third-person’s perspective of our bodies leads to decreased cognitive performance, increased feelings of shame, and restrained eating. There are significant behavioral consequences that follow from objectification.

One should also consider 'objectification' of women, racial minorities, and physically disabled people.


"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."
Updated On: 1/26/06 at 11:42 AM

Marlene Profile Photo
Marlene
#316re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:42am

"So, how does that make us feel? And how do we react to that?"

*mental note* I could probably look that good if I actually took the time. But not only do these individuals have time, they have professional help.

As for supermodels, the coathanger syndrome works because for the sake of the actual designs and to save fabric.

Haha, adgirl, why do I feel like we're at some group meeting?

On another note, who honestly hasn't got out of bed one morning and disliked the way they look? On a certain level I think it's healthy, it puts you into perspective, and hopefully it makes you realize that there is so much more than just the outside.

brdlwyr
#317re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:43am

This is a thread for my wife. She is as fit as Cookie and equally as sexy, but my god if she gains three pounds I have to hear about it all day. Of course, she gained about XX pounds (she would kill me if I put the actual amount) with each pregnancy, so she knows how it is to be "fat."

We also stuggle with addressing the weight of our daughters who tend to be a little "chunky." We have personally dealt with relatives with severe anorexia and bulemia and do not want our daughters to develop problems. I also have morbid obesity on my side of the family. It is difficult to find the balance.

colleen_lee
#318re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:43am

Here is an interesting site that shows all that retouching can do: http://demo.fb.se/e/girlpower/retouch/


"You just can't win. Ever. Look at the bright side, at least you are not stuck in First Wives Club: The Musical. That would really suck. " --Sueleen Gay

bwaysinger Profile Photo
bwaysinger
#319re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:47am

And, for the boys here, let's not forget that the gay scene, particularly in NYC, relies SO much on gym time to define how gorgeous you are. Forget intellect, forget natural beauty, forget anything except how much you bench press and how defined your abs are.
It's a disgusting ideal. That so many homosexuals push themselves to the neglect of the rest of their lives to attain the goal of physical perfection is just sad, sad, sad.
And, with that, I'm going to go eat my Weight Watchers lunch.

wexy
#320re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:49am

i had a friend who was a photographer for Playboy. She told me that 80% of the women had work done and that 100% of her photos were sent to Chicago for retouching.

I'm on the Mens Health Forums and we always note that even though many of us are in good shape, the covers and all the cut people they have in their promos are a bit much.


'Take me out tonight where's there's music and there's people and they're young and alive.'

TheatreDiva612 Profile Photo
TheatreDiva612
#321re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:50am

I have struggled with this since I was in 7th grade. I used to be really skinny. I mean, I'm not like obese now, but definitely not really thin like before. I've struggled with eating disorders for years and it's still something I deal with every day. I think my sister is a prime example of this. She was a gorgeous size 10/12 girl. She moved to Los Angeles to do film/tv and immediately dropped to a size 0 and below...she's about 5'6-6'7. When we ask her about it, she says "Mom, if I go to an audition, and the girls there are all a size 0 and then I'm a size 4, then they choose the size 0 girls. The camera adds 10 pounds, so if I weigh 120 I look 130... Therefore I have to weigh 110 to look 120." It's just really sad what Hollywood does to people. SHe's not even as pretty anymore because she's just so skinny. SHe just looks like every other skinny chick in Hollywood. I also go to a boarding school for the performing arts and am surrounded by ballerinas/dancers/and basically people who have to stay in shape for their art. So when I'm at school, I see people struggling every day, be it at the gym or in the cafeteria. I wish that I and everyone else would just feel good about ourselves.

JailyardGuy Profile Photo
JailyardGuy
#322re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:50am

Amen, boo. I personally would love to blow up every damn NYSC just to see how many of these muscle mary queens would have a nervous breakdown and kill themselves.


Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you. Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.

GClef2 Profile Photo
GClef2
#323re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:54am

I have never been overweight, or even near it. People are shocked to know that I was bulimic for two years. Though the cause of it was not due to body image, rather a lack of control in my life, this disease does not only effect teenage girls. I know many young men who combat the same thing. To this day, I still struggle with food. It is hard for me to eat a full meal and not throw it up. I am not placing this blame on ANYONE except for myself and am ONLY sharing this to show the sad state of affairs in this world... this "Thin is in" has put far too much pressure on those who arent...and it makes me so sad.


"The only way we live beyond our lives is to connect and carve ourselves into the souls of those we love." -Little Fish

DayDreamer Profile Photo
DayDreamer
#324re: the serious discussion thread
Posted: 1/26/06 at 11:56am

I've struggled with body weight/self image issues all my life. When I was a child, I was HUGE. I started walking when I was just over 7 months old... the joke is that I was so fat, I couldn't crawl, so I skipped that stage. In my late teens/early 20's, when I was dancing full time, I was quite thin, yet I always thought of myself as overweight. It's just the way my body is built... I'm not a lean skinny thing, yet being surrounded by dancers, that's what I wanted to be. In the years since I balloned to 240+, and have now lost over 50 pounds. I'm still very self-conscious about my weight... but I try to not let it get to me. I try to accept my body for what it is, and as long as I stay healthy, eat healthy, exercise, etc., gotta learn to be happy with it.

But there are other issues with self-image - i.e. too hairy (yep... I belong to Kringas' back hair support group) and not hairy enough (loosing the hair on my head) are just a couple of the issues I'm trying to learn to deal with. Of course, I got a back wax yesterday.


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Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch


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