Serious Discussion-Stress and Psych Disorders- Page 15

[Dre2387]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:24pm

i have the same problem. I am 5'8", and most of my life I have been at the highest point of where my weight should be. Right now, I am almost 19, and weigh about 167. my mom, this past winter break (which was a long 5 weeks), and she figured out that I have to get down to about 145. hopefully, I can do it before spring break.

also, I have started getting white hair. my first strand was found by someone else when i was 14. and now, I have probably over 70 strands. I'm sort of embraessed about it, yet sort of proud that I can amaze people. But I do get highlights which, if I go to a good hairdresser, can cost a lot.

so, i'm just tryinh to be me. That is all I can say.

[DancNdaMoonlite]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:31pm

colleen- Thats scary. Most of those people are like sticks and theyre considered "overweight/obese"???

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:35pm

It is because the new standard does not take muscle mass into account. As most of us probably know, muscle weighs more than fat, so a muscular/well-toned person is going to have a higher number on the scale than they really look. But, according to the government, the number is what matters.

[Marlene]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:36pm

I always feel fat, perhaps it’s just a complex of being the same size as your mother who is a little over three decades older than you, has popped babies out, and is on prednizone (sp?); and we can’t forget the fact that the people close to your age in your extended family just happen to be ****ing size zeros. I’m always sort of distraught, because I get mixed messages, and frankly I don’t know how to exactly think of myself. I don’t loathe the way I look, but I’m particularly content. I constantly fluctuate between 125-135 lbs, and I’m 5’5”. All the extra weight goes to my lower body, yet it’s the last place I lose weight. So all in all it’s a little frustrating. Then again my bone structure will just never allow for a very thin and long build that would be nice. What serious ****s me in the head is that the same people who tell me that I can occasionally lose a few pounds are the ones who are on my case when I drift down to the 120’s. I’m small on top; I guess I have a relatively tiny waist (I’m slightly OCD about ab workouts, so don’t mind me) so the whole not being proportional complex just pisses me off even more when dress shopping.

I know if I just eat healthy and exercise, I lose weight without much of a problem. But I always break and binge. It’s a vicious cycle. Oh when does soccer season start? But that just gets me even more pissed off when all the girls on the team decide to go eat **** before the game, and I get lectures about ED's because I decided not to down a burger and super size fries before the game.

*bangs head in to wall* Then there are my friends that don't eat, who are rail thin, think that they are somehow fat, and I'm not. Ohhhh got to luuuurve HS.
Updated On: 1/26/06 at 01:36 PM

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:36pm

Cookie mentioned elsewhere that the much more accurate measurement should be body fat %, but that still begs the question of where do you draw the line between a healthy amount of fat, too much, or too little?

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:40pm

A friend told me once, "It's just a number, and it's not plastered on your forehead." It's true... when people meet you, they aren't trying to instantly guess your weight, they're looking at your facial expression, your body, what you're wearing, what you're saying, all as one package. I have to remember that - people don't see me as "182," they see me as "[insert CM's real name here]."

[Marlene]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:40pm

BMI can be really miss leading. For a fact I know I can be the the same wight, but either be really sludgy or really toned. A BMI calculator doesn't take into consideration your fat to muscle ratio, which is a rather important determining factor...

[NYadgal]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:41pm

You talk to your doctor about it, bway. If you want to know the correct weight and balance for your own body.

Being healthy is the most important thing to consider.

[My Fair Lady]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:44pm

Looking fat isn't how much you weigh, it's how the weight is distributed. Most people wouldn't say I'm fat, but I'm 5" and 130 pounds-ish. My stomach's almost flat and I have fairly thin calves that are muscular. When people guess my weight, they ususally guess 110 pounds-ish-never what I actually weigh.

Just wanted to contribute that.

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:46pm

Addy... as much as I like my doctor, he brought up the whole BMI thing. Then, of course, my nutritionist told me not to pay attention to it.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:53pm

That's the frightening part about it, Addy, aren't doctors and nutritionists responsible for BMI? Now those nutritionists, people who SHOULD know better than using a simple height-to-weight ratio as a measurement of your healthy mass, are telling the government it's the ruler to use by which to enforce obesity issues.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:57pm

I should clarify: I meant that you should talk to your doctor (or any professional who you trust to give you accurate information regarding health/nutrition) about what you should do to remain healthy.

The big picture. Not just numbers on a chart.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 1:58pm

Yes sir, I just loved when my uber hot, but thirty pounds overweight, doctor scolded me for my five pound weight flucuation.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 2:00pm

Heh. Good point, Somms.
But you're right, Addy. Absolutely right. And I do intend, once my health insurance kicks in and I find a doctor whom I can trust, that I'm going to explain my history, explain my recent shift, and see what he has to offer by way of the future.
And then we start running, right?

[NYadgal]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 2:01pm

Right!

[ihearttheatre]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 2:01pm

Updated On: 1/26/06 at 02:01 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 2:03pm

I don't think there's any measurement that determines what we "shoud" be. I'm including BMI, height/weight index, or any other chart, so to speak. If we fit into those parameters, does that mean we're the healthy ones and will live longer than those who aren't in the chart? I'm not saying I know it all, but I wonder about that.

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 2:05pm

The one good thing my doctor do was MAKE me see the nutritionist. He kept on seeing my weight go up, and he'd suggest me doing something about it. Finally, when I hit 242, he said "You are seeing the nutritionist." So I said I'd call to make an appointment, and he just said "No, you're seeing her now." He left the room and came back 10 minutes later with her. That's when I started my weightloss... in a healthy way. Best thing that could've happened to me.

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 2:53pm

But even "professionals" can skew things by projecting their wn standards onto others. I had an ex-friend who was studying nutrition. She was rail thin. But was always concerned about her fat intake. To the point where she would use hundreds of napkins to sop up the oil from cheese in pizza. Or refuse to eat avocado because avocado had a lot of fat.

I'd get admonished if I didn't do the same.

[Jane2]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 3:17pm

My bottom line-we're dealt a hand at birth. That hand is going to determine most of our health issues. I'm DEFINITELY for trying to be as healthy as we can, eating healthy, and to feel as comfortable in our bodies as we can. But lots of it is genetic and in most cases, it'll get you no matter what else you do.

[kissmycookie]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 3:21pm

Oh, I disagree that we're solely dealt a hand at birth.

I believe lifestyle plays a much larger role.

[JailyardGuy]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 3:21pm

<------- What happens when you don't take Jane's advice...(and are half-crazy to begin with.)

Updated On: 1/26/06 at 03:21 PM

[cabarethed]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 3:32pm

I've had body issues my whole life (having a mother and grandmother with similar issues doesn't help). What also doesn't help is hearing everyone around you at school, work, etc., focusing on weight and making fun of people who may be the slightest bit overweight. The term "chubby chasers" makes me sick. As does the ways girls who are barely size 12 are portrayed in TV shows and movies, primarily teen focused ones. Way to completely f*** up and confuse people going through every kind of physical and mental change possible. I thought for years that I must be completely disgusting to men, therefore making me a very late bloomer. I wasted so many years being down about even more weight gain post high school that I missed out on a lot of life. Granted, I had a lot of time to think and grow mentally and emotionally, and I like myself as a person much better now than when I was a slimmer teenager. I lost 25 lbs this year, and I want to try for at least another 30. This isn't for anybody but myself though- I really need to be healthier. I've been dating a guy who thinks I'm incredibly hot and makes me feel that way. I still look in the mirror and go ugh, and I probably always will. I do feel crappy that I needed male validation. Do I have to turn in my feminist card, or am I just human? It really angers me that society gives the idea at a young age that you're not worthy unless you're "f***able."

[Kringas]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 3:39pm

It's such a complicated issue, and there's so much hysteria on both sides that it's hard to be able to look at the subject clearly.

A few years ago I weighed about 185. I'd been climbing the scale steadily since college and it was never really a big issue for me. In 2003 I had two roles coming up that I really wanted to get (Prior in Angels in America and the title role in Hedwig and the Angry Inch) and I knew I'd have to drop some weight. I'd considered it before, not really to make myself happier, but because according to my doctor my BMI was in the "almost obese" category and according to most of the gay men out there, I was too fat to get laid.

Through diet, exercise and determination and I got down to about 145. Sure, my ribs were starting to poke out and I was barely eating, but I'd achieved an ideal I never thought I would. I'd achieved an ideal I never thought I'd wanted. It was strangely empowering. Being much smaller, I noticed people looking at more approvingly. It was strange, though, for someone who had always been comfortable carrying a little extra around his middle to suddenly start to feel the pressure to be thin and stay thin.

Trying to stay at 145 was next to impossible, because clearly my body wasn't built to be that size. As soon as I stopped working out seven days a week and relaxed some of my dietary restrictions, I gained another ten pounds or so.

I fluctuate now between 150 and 160, usually hovering around 155. I've finally gotten myself to a point - after getting so thin that friends and family were seriously concerned that I had an eating disorder (and to some degree, I probably did) - where I allow myself to eat that extra piece of pizza or that Little Debbie cake. The cycle of shame tied into one's weight can be so strong, that it's really a tough one to break.

I'm generally comfortable with my body now, but something happened to me after I lost all the weight, I guess, and I've found myself buying into a lot of the body issues I'd spent such a good portion of my life avoiding.

At the end of the day, I agree that people just have to be happy with whom they are. If you're tiny and your truly happy, then that's as it should be. If you're carrying around some "extra" weight but feel good about yourself, then it's obvious that's the right choice as well.

The interesting thing is that no matter what my weight, I've always found myself attracted to guys who are carrying a few extra pounds. Why it's easier for me to accept on someone else than on myself, I'm not quite sure.

Anyway, this rant is way too long. Carry on.

[KelRel]

Posted: 1/26/06 at 3:40pm

Cabarethead, I am in the same boat as you. I obsessed over my weight throughout high school. On top of social pressure I had a guy who cheated on me and to validate his actions he said well I wanted to be with someone who wasn't so fat. I weighed less then than I do now, but it crushed me. Those words haunted me for years, but I am married to a wonderful man who thinks that I am the most beautiful woman on earth. He makes me feel amazing about myself. Right now I am in the process of trying to lose weight because I want to be healither. I am working out more to increase my lung capacity to help with my asthma and to loose some weight that needs to come off. I have tried diet and exercise in the past, but it never worked for me. Already I am starting to see a little bit of a difference and that is so encouraging. The difference this time is that I am doing it to make myself happy, not to please the world or some loser ex boyfriend. To top it all off my husband is working out with me so that time at the gym is more fun than work.