Serious Discussion-Stress and Psych Disorders — Page 14

DD, having met you I can say that you are a gorgeous man who has nothing to worry about.

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That's the thing... I know I'm not skinny. When I hit 172, that's way low for me. Yet I will always have a barrel chest. Can't do anything about it. And I'm supposed to be (accroding to BMI and other standards) like 165, but if I get that low, I'd be WAY too skinny. I'm not a small person.

And what really sucks about clothing is that a lot of it IS designed with thin men in mind. Some designers I can't even wear a large because they're too tight across the chest, yet the shirts are huge at my waist and really long arms.

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I've always been thin, but I still often find myself unhappy with how I look or how the clothes I'm wearing look on me. I feel guilty and almost afraid to admit it, as though I don't have the right to be unhappy with my body. I'm also afraid that when I'm at a party and I don't feel hungry or like the food that's being served, people will look at me and mistake my picky eating for something else.

One thing that really bothers me is society's obsession with plastic surgery. A family friend in her late 20s, who has a great body and works out at a gym 6 days a week, recently went to a plastic surgeon to ask what he could do for her. Even after he told her there was nothing she needed, she still wants breast implants. On a more general note, I really don't see why anyone would undergo such an invasive procedure when the desired effect can be achieved with a push-up bra.

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This stories just make me sick...but there is one thing that I find startling. We all complain about ourselves, when to others WE look perfect.I mean did anyone see the Oprah episode when all of these young people had Body Dismorphic Dissorder? Some people (including some of us) see things about their body that aren't even there. We are overly aware of ourselves...

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I have always had serious body image issues.
Even when I was down to about 135, which I am told is way too low for my shape, I felt as though I was too wide in the hips or something. (I think that "homeland boxers" shape that singer mentioned applies to me as well)

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*looks in mirror*
*frets over upcoming trip to NYC*

It's difficult when meeting folks in person the first time. We have pictures in our heads of people which often don't match what we finally see.

*considers full length burqua*

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Here's a little audition story that might make you laugh. I was sent to audition for a fake commercial to be shown on SNL about GAP chinos. Ok, so it's my turn. I'm standing in front of the camera and the casting director is looking me up and down. "Um, this audition is supposed to be for fat people.", she said. "Oh, I AM fat!" I replied.(I could stand to lose 20 lbs.) "You don't look fat to me" she stated. "I'm much fatter than I look", I assured her. "When you see me on tape you'll see I'm fat". She didn't really want to let me audition but she finally did. When I eventually saw the spot, I noticed that the actors were really quite a bit larger than I am.

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I can totally relate, SOMMS. I lost about 50#s 4 years ago, and I was only that fat for a couple of years, but people still comment on how good I'm looking these days.

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I know I'm not society's idea of beauty. I think I can be attractive in a real-world kind of way. But when people tell me I look beautiful, I don't believe it - I feel like they're just trying to make me feel good, and I can't accept it.

My beautiful, perfect-bodied best friend told me a couple of weeks ago, just as part of normal conversation, that I was beautiful - and she might believe it, we see the people we love through different eyes than we see the rest of the world - but I brushed it off, couldn't accept it graciously, and momentarily hurt her feelings.

That was a wake-up call for me

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Wow, this will be a long post (brace yourself)...

I have struggled with this issue a lot. When I was in high school, I weighed about 150 lbs. (I'm 5'7") and was convinced I was fat. I wore somewhat baggy clothes, didn't like to wear clothes that had a lot of shape, because I was convinced that I was "fat." The fact is, the line of women in my family gives me wide hips, large breasts, a round face w/ a big nose, muscular legs and shoulders, and a soft little pooch under my stomach that will never go away (so says my svelte mother, who after 22 years of wedded bliss and three kids can STILL fit into her wedding dress). I finally had to just learn to accept how I look. (Not that I always do, but it's progress!) Oddly, 3 years after feeling "fat" at 150 lbs. in high school, I feel prettier (at 182 pounds!) than I ever have before. Granted, that's not the healthiest weight I could be. This year I resolved that if I could lose 3 pounds each month, I'd be at a very ideal shape/size come next Christmas. My doctor says that my ideal weight for my height is 135 lbs... I smile and nod but if I can be 150 lbs, I'll still be fabulously curvy and quite healthy.

I was talking with a friend just the other day about when I first took yoga and what a great instructor I had. I was describing this woman, who was in her mid-60s, in great shape but not really "skinny," fairly small-chested, had an abundance of laugh lines and who wore her waist-length grey hair up in a twisty bun. I was saying how she is the most gorgeous woman I've ever met - she truly is. Her beauty radiated from such a deep place inside - she was so at ease with herself and comfortable in her own skin. No magazine would put her on the cover - a size 8 (I'm guessing here), wrinkles, grey hair - but she had a calming presence and a genuine smile that I'll never forget.

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This is an issue that has been very much in my mind for the past almost 8 months that I've been doing Weight Watchers. I have always had a terrible body image and have always thought that I was fat. Although I've never been skinny, I wasn't all that heavy until about midway through college. I finally got fed up last summer and have lost 43 lbs. I'm often amazed at how I can look in the mirror one minute and be pleased by how much thinner I am now and look again the next and think how very far I still have to go.

Amen, honey!

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Scroll down the page to see who is considered overweight in Hollywood under the new government standards:

http://www.clevelandwomen.com/pro/obese.htm

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