The Thread For Those Who Feel The Need To Share All of Their Banal Details — Page 123

My parents wanted the graduation party more than I did. This sounds incredibly whiny, but I loathe this town more with each passing day. I hate the prevailing athletic-dominant mentality here, I hate having to give speeches to WASP-y clubs, and more than anything, I hate how I've been growing apart from my friends for a year and I don't even care much.

Sorry, it's just been a bad day. The stress of schoolwork and AP tests isn't helping. I'm sorry to hear that your sweet 16 wasn't fun. I didn't have one.

Em, I liked the teacup ride a lot. I also really liked Epcot and MGM Studios.

That's how I look back on the summer before ninth grade. It was the last time everything was really "right" between a lot of my friends and I. Parts of last year were good, too, but I don't feel any connection to most of my friends anymore. We're on very different paths now.

I should probably get ready to volunteer. It's my weekly obligation.

It's 2 p.m. and I'm still in bed.

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Hmm, that's interesting, I thought I saw another post after Em's, but I must have just been imagining it. I guess I won't respond.

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Updated On: 4/29/06 at 02:55 PM

"so much of that fun is now tainted; I look back on it kind of sadly."
That's how I always feel when looking back on pictures with people who I'm no longer friends with or don't like anymore. It makes me sad.

Nia-- I agree with you. I know that a lot of the friendships I have with people right now are not going to last past highschool. There's only really one or two friends that I have that I'd want to still know years from now.

But then you have the friends that you will sit around on a Friday night and color things like this




and talk about all the stuff that is great about your friendship

"You'll never share real love until you love yourself."

One of my favorite quotes. It holds true in the context, but it applies to all walks of life--romantic love, as well as the love of friends. I wrote well what accidentally ended up being a 23-page paper(oops) on rejection sensitivity. It's a cycle. If you go through life either desperately feeling or assuming that you will be rejected by others, you do get rejected/abandoned. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And I would know, as I fell into that trap for years. Between third grade and tenth grade, the same pattern would happen. I would become best friends with a sort of queen bee...or maybe they weren't a queen bee yet, but they would become one and totally ditch me/make me feel like ****. I always blamed myself because it must have been me...everyone didn't want to be my friend after a while. Until the end of 10th grade I finally realized it was me to an extent. I was a rag mop. I let people get away with treating me like ****, but still considered them my "friend." Who wouldn't wanna take stuff out on someone who will let you? I feared rejection so much that I let them get away with it, and doing that is what got me rejected.

What's funny is all through this, I didn't realize what I had. I still have two best friends...one I've been friends with since I was 6 years old, one 3. We're still extremely close, and one of my friends and I have just gone through 2 really rough things together, and we're as close as ever.

I mean, with trusting people there comes a lot of hurt. One day I got so mad at someone I thought was my friend I told a friend I wasn't gonna trust anyone anymore. She was like c'mon...it's not something you can change. And despite getting very hurt at times, I'm glad I'm like that. The good ends up outweighing the bad. I made 4 life-long friends after just...living/being with them for 6 weeks. High school friends who I was worry would neglect me, since I was the one who always called in High School and stuff, proved me wrong.

Still, depending on the situation, past relationships don't always need to be "tainted." If you look back and realize the person was a bitch even as your friend, then yes, it's tainted. If people changed or you just grew apart, you shouldn't have to look back at memories in sadness. Everyone...affects you in some way, and you learn something from everyone. As you lose old close friends, you gain new ones. Even friends who I look back and realize there was a lot I didn't like about them, I can still realize for the time they were a true friend and I'm grateful for that friendship.

Leaving high school is a tough time. I left mostly happy, realizing anyone I would miss I would keep in touch with, though I had the fear that I was proven wrong about them keeping in touch with me. And you may realize there's no one you'll miss, and that's fine too. Your town is such a small sampling of the entire population. You make friends to get you through that time, and once you go off to college and other wakes of life, you could meet people that will impact your life more. I guess it's also hard realizing you won't miss anyone.

Finally, it's important to be able to sustan long-distance relationships. A lot of friends I talk to see, maybe twice a year. But that doesn't mean I'm still not close with them. I know they're there and care about me, and sometimes it's frustrating and I think gah, I haven't talked to her in soo long, are we still even friends? The answer is yes.

Wow, it's been so much fun writing this instead or writing my paper. And my paper isn't really that far off from topic, it's about female aggression in Junior High. But I still don't wanna write it. Stupid procrastination.

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Updated On: 4/29/06 at 03:21 PM

I'm happy in highschool right now. My friends are what make me happy. I try and not over think friendships. Things change, it's inevitable. You gotta just roll with it .

Nia, I feel that way about nearly everyone I encounter on a day-to-day basis, but I also believe there are a few execeptions to the rule as well. Sure, most people you encounter don't truly care about you and vice-versa, but I think a person comes along to defy that standard once in a while.

My cramps are causing me so much pain that I'm sitting here, blowing my hairdryer on my abdomen.

That's great dancing!

SD, does that help it? Well I guess it must if you do it. I get bad cramps too and I'm always looking for ways to get rid of it. Feel better though .

Thanks, girls. I took two Advil about an hour ago. Mel, pretty much anything with heat helps a bit. It would probably be more energy efficent to just get a hot water bottle, though.

Or a heating pad. :)

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Being physically fit is also supposed to help prevent cramps. I keep trying to make a point to exercise, but never do (hah, like 90% of America). I'm trying to promise myself that I'll use the exercise facilities at NYU.