When girls drink too much...

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 9:36am

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.


2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO

5.WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US.

8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop?)

11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

[pemberlee]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 9:44am

And the sad thing is I experienced about 7 of these last Friday. Gotta love the last day of classes. I would also add:

13. We think singing along with whatever music happens to be playing is super fun and not at all annoying to the person who's ear we are shouting in.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 9:47am

This is our annual office Christmas party. And department lunch. And group outing. And every birthday party I get invited to...even my own, which was organized by a friend.

And you can add one more:

13. WE ELECT THE GAY GUY TO BE THE PARTY THERAPIST, SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT HOW EMOTIONALLY DEEP WE REALLY ARE, AS OPPOSED TO HOW WE ARE PERCEIVED BY THE ENTIRE WORLD.

[Bluemoon]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 9:50am

AND SOMETIMES WE GET BEHIND THE WHEEL OF A CAR AND HURT OR KILL OURSELVES AND OTHERS.

There's drinking, then there's stupid drinking.

I hate stupid drunks.

[kelzama]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 9:57am

Couldn't agree more, bluemoon. But then there's the stupid drunk girls who think it's very clever that they pee in the sink because they can't wait for a stall?

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 10:01am

Stop talking about me like I'm not even here!

"I love you guys....no really, I do!! Remember that time...zzzz!"

[Princeton78]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 10:11am

Here's to the ladies who lunch
Everybody Laugh
Lounging in their caftans and
Planning a brunch
On their own behalf
Off to the gym
Then to a fitting,
Claiming they're fat
And looking grim,
Cause they've been sitting
Choosing a hat
I'll drink to that!

Here's to the girls who just watch
Aren't they the best
When they get depressed,
It's a bottle of scotch
Plus a little jest!
Another chance to disapprove
Another brilliant zinger
Another reason not to move
Another vodka stinger
I'll drink to that!

Here's to the girls who play wife
Aren't they too much!
Keeping house but clutching a copy of "Life"
Just to keep in touch
The ones who follow the rules
And meet themselves at the schools
Too busy to know that they're fools
Aren't they a gem!
I'll drink to them!
Let's all drink to...

Here's to the girls on the go,
Everybody tries
Look into their eyes
And you'll see what they know,
Everybody dies
A toast to that invincible bunch
The dinosaurs surviving the crunch
Let's hear it for the ladies who lunch
Everybody rise
Everybody rise,

[jessica0414]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 11:02am

"Couldn't agree more, bluemoon. But then there's the stupid drunk girls who think it's very clever that they pee in the sink because they can't wait for a stall?"

heh...we had this table in my dorm set up outside our RA's room that she was putting cookies on around Christmas time. She'd take the cookies inside at night so drunk people wouldn't eat them. I guess she should have taken the table inside, too, because a drunk girl on our floor one night decided that would be a great place to pee...hehehe...

[Mamie]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 11:20am

4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

OK BB - how could you possibly know this one? You can add the fact that this realization may take place in the men's room .... because it's closer and who can read then?

[Marlene]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 11:22am

Is it a bad sign if like 3/4 of these are applicable to me when alcohol is not present at a party?

[Broadway_Baby]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 11:59am

This is brilliant.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 12:05pm

Mamie..I only know these things because my friends and family (girls) love to share these secrets with me.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 12:07pm

and I guarantee that Boobs has played lookout at the men's room door for his cousin.

[Broadwayboobs]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 12:20pm

I can't even tell you how many times I had to stand outside the ladies room..holding pocketbooks.....and they even clashed with my outfit..could you imagine?

[DG]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 12:22pm

The only time I was actually around a girl who had had too much to drink, she tried to seduce me. It's no coincidence that she became the first person I ever told I was gay.

[DAME]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 12:23pm

Oops. So sorry. i thoughtthis was about me.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 12:39pm

Heh, there's a Facebook group at my school like this. The fact that my across-the-hall neighbor is a member unfortunately doesn't surprise me.

[DBillyP]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 12:52pm

Shouldn't this thread title be "When girls (AND GAY MEN) drink too much ..."?

[Princeton78]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 12:58pm

*ding*ding*ding*

[NYadgal]

Posted: 5/3/06 at 5:11pm

So, who wants to go out for a drink?

Posted: 5/3/06 at 5:15pm

omg i love these so true, so many more to add too.....