Casting Call for a Female Zombie Type with Killer Vocals Pun Intended

I have to find new ways to advertise to you folks since Playbill and Backstage have decided my first amendment right ends with a request for a singer to hit an Eb.  That being said I didn't intend to get all your panties in a bundle or ruffle the feathers of the dying bird, Broadway, by asking for what I wanted in an actress. In retrospect, I should maybe have said the only qualifications is that she's bat **** crazy and can sing sort of...

Anyway good news we found Alicia in Chicago (Is that on Earth) of all places!!  We are re-casting Gwen. (It's not a riddle Tik Tok trolls)

Shall I reduce my ask in today's ad. Everyone can and should apply. In fact if you can sing half of an F minor chord, submit a reel. Let's say the range of the girl can be F above middle C to Ab above middle C - let's be more inclusive here.  Also pitch is not an issue. We have autotune and melodyne. The computer doesn't know if you're flat or sharp (we prefer sharp, please) so just sing anything and we'll have the 80 piece orchestra guess the melody. Also don't make it easy on us; Putting up a new musical is cheap and doesn't take too long, so the best reels are two hour videos of you and your friends at Karaoke. Don't tell us which one you are. Guessing makes the casting process so much more exciting. Similar to a Tinder photo with four girlfriends in the main image, we do not really want to know what we're getting. How boring. So yes... All please apply.- no really, just kidding, apply if you're amazing, if you blow people's minds when you sing.  The AUDITION is for the 2nd female lead, our Juliet  GWEN, the zombie military nurse. And we have minor roles with solos available.

Look to those other people scared of the UV Revolution, let me start with a couple things to help you out.  First, it's not my fault nobody can keep a show open past intermission.  Well it's partially my fault. I usually spend Act 2 of most musicals at Juniors ordering a French Onion soup without the bread, but don't worry I'm gonna change it.  (Not my Onion Soup order - Show business) Here we have what will be the biggest musical, heck, the biggest musical event in history. So get upset along the way just like the investors in the Big Short, but enjoy the ride. Don't resist this. You can't change it. It's the igniting event of the Age of Aquarius and you can't resist the stars. You can have a story but this is happening and it's changing all of your lives for the better. That being said, if I mildly offended you by asking for an actress that can sing and invests herself fully in a song, please write to us at undeadvalley@gmail.com and request an Undead Valley T Shirt or Ladies Tank Top.  If you were majorly bothered, request a hoodie instead.  In the meantime I really need one actress that wants to change the world and be part of the parallel ascension of Earth for the 2nd lead role. And one actress and two male actors to sing minor solo roles.

Thanks again.  Let's bring back the show in show business and maybe people will come to the theater again!

 

This is truly some of the most unhinged and pompous behavior I've ever seen in an industry that's full of it –– the type of behavior that should lead any sane investor & artist running away from this supposed $100M+ project, and any psychiatrist running towards the unnamed producer who keeps making these posts.

Updated On: 12/4/23 at 02:41 PM

That's not how the First Amendment works. 

A Couple Updates from Undead Valley.  I believe all my leads are cast.  I will know for sure next week.  Still willing to look at exceptional reels just in case. I also encourage people to submit for the minor roles.   To Playbill and those that keep on commenting that the information in my Playbill ad was not true or misleading, you need to stop saying things that are not true.  Every word in my ad is true.  Everyone advertised has been paid by me to be in my show, Phase 1 which is the record.  There is video of everyone, sound recordings with them, receipts for their pay and travel.  If Playbill wants to lie to their audience, they can but I do not know that they will be able to conceal their lie for long.  All of those people have agreed to be in the actual play.  I do not need signed contracts if I have begun paying for work.  After the ad was up one of those people, because of their own mistake wanted their name out because of their celebrity status, their phone was blowing up.  

UndeadValley said: "Also just because certain people want to hide the truth for not the best reasons, it doesn't shade the truth. I spoke 100% truth and one person didn't want that truth getting out unless Cameron were producing the play, it doesn't make my ad not true. Regardless I respected their decision and I was the one who asked Playbill to take it down. Then they are taking credit like they were the heroes keeping Broadway safe. The only thing they've ever done is keep you safe from the truth."

 

 

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

 

I hope Betsy Wolfe gets the job - her auditions have been great.

UndeadValley said: "There is video of everyone, sound recordings with them, receipts for their pay and travel."

 

Put the receipts in a google drive so we can see all ‘em. Blur out actors faces in the videos so we can see proof.

 

Basically, pics or it didn’t happen.

 

At this point I think that the Undead Valley producer is an AI-generated bot designed to lighten the mood of theatre industry professionals during the cold winter months. Thanks for the laughs!

Also, I agree about Betsy Wolfe. Her audition was ah-may-zing. She should definitely get the role!

Bless Betsy Wolfe

Has Tommy Wiseau decided to come to Broadway because this is giving serious The Room vibes.