I've gotten serious stomach aches while sitting in the audience during a show, and the usual headaches -- some induced by what's being performed on stage! If I know I'm not feeling well beforehand, I will skip out on a show, because sitting still in cramped seats next to a few hundred or a few thousand of your closest friends sounds like hell and certainly is not any way to make yourself feel better.
Here's an onstage sickness story: I was in the worst production of GYPSY that ever was -- it was plagued with problems from the start, and everything that could go wrong did. On our official opening night (three nights after the first preview and four nights after the new Rose had joined the show after the previous one was fired -- yeah, it was *that* bad).
I had taken off from school early to attend a rehearsal before the opening night that afternoon to give the new Rose more rehearsal time, and had grabbed a sandwich from a place around the corner. During the break between rehearsal and opening it started to disagree with me. Uh-oh, food poisoning.
I began to violently throw up, and my insides felt like they were burning, which would have been perfect motivation if I was doing KISS OF THE SPIDER WOMAN, but I was playing Yonkers (and it seemed like every other male character part in this show).
The worst of it came just before the Military Dance transition where the Baby June and Her Newsboys become Dainty June and Her Newsboys. I quickly ducked into the bathroom stage right and let it all out just before running on stage for the Military Dance. The scene immediately following is the hotel room scene with Mr. Goldstone and all the newsboys are on stage the entire time. The Military Dance had not helped my queasiness and I had a lot of lines during the scene. I was white as a ghost during it, shaking from the nausea, and looking like I was about to pass out. I gave one of the other boys on stage a look -- and I bolted through the door on the set, off stage to the bathroom and puked again, coming back on in time for the Mr. Goldstone song. Though since there wasn't any underscoring during the scene, I think people could hear me onstage since the bathroom was very close by in the wings. Hopefully the audience was spared such sounds (I didn't have a mic on!)
After Goldstone things quieted down, I had some Sprite, and did my best to get through the rest of the show. Afterwards, our director (who was a last minute before rehearsals replacement director -- he was a scenic designer and this was his first directorial job) -- called us all into the Green Room and gave us notes, even though it was opening night. Rightfully so, since they fired the Rose not even a week before and we were all giving scared-$#!%less performances. Notes took almost an hour. My stomach started acting up and I was trying to hold it, and was getting restless. The director was ripping into us and I started to get up, and he yelled at me and told me to sit back down -- nobody leaves till he's done pontificating. I did a couple of "But I'm..." -- and he wouldn't hear any of it. He was going on an ego trip and there was no stopping him. I couldn't take it any longer and ran to the bathroom just off the green room. All the while the director is yelling at me to come back and I'm running, and I make it to the stall door, but my body jumps ahead of me and I didn't quite "hit my mark" and make a gigantic mess all over the floor. He runs in after me, sees what's wrong, and quickly apologized. To his credit, I believe he even helped me clean up the mess. Notes were over after my big finale!
He told me that he had no idea that I was sick during the show, since he popped outside for a cigarette during the transition sequence and Goldstone scene, and had avoided us (and the audience) during the show and intermission.
The rest of the run didn't go any better, though our replacement Rose was markedly better than our original one. Our props person quit the second weekend and we had to preset all of our own props. Half of the meager sized running crew quit after the opening so the older teenage boys in the cast (myself included) moved a lot of set pieces ourselves (in addition to portraying a lot of the smaller roles). Disaster Disaster Disaster.
The theater had declared bankruptcy just before the show went into rehearsals, and the only reason this show went on was through the generosity of one patron who fronted the money. The original director and original Rose pulled out long before this show began rehearsals (had they been involved, this show would have been an unqualified hit) and we all were left to pick up the pieces. To top it all off, the show should have had a full orchestra (as shows at this theater usually have) -- but because of the limited funding (and extremely bad word of mouth), we were left with a six piece band. Hearing the overture played by six pieces was dismal. Ugh, when that show ended, I took a nice long break from the theatre.
But ten years later, I'm left with a funny (though sad) story to tell. I'm about to go to an audition for another show at that theater this week, though their fortunes have reversed and are a healthy company now -- though if I get the show, this will be the first time back on their stage since that ill-fated production a decade ago.
<---- You can see the crazy in her eyes. ;-)
