John Tartaglia talks about being openly gay in this month's Playbill

[eslgr8]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 4:20am

From this month's Wayman Wong column at playbill.com comes this quote from the marvelously talented and admirably out John Tartaglia:

"The more people live their lives openly and freely, the less it’ll be a big deal. It’s not the easy road. The easy road in Hollywood is to say you’re not gay and cover it up. If half of the celebrities who are gay would come out, it would not only help gay people and gay teens but everyone else. The people I know who are out might not be making millions like Tom Cruise, but they’re successful and happy, and I’d rather be happy with my life and not walk around and lie."

Thank God there are out gay performers like John who recognize that there's a huge difference between those who are honest and open about their lives and those who use the word "privacy" to justify lying about or hiding who they are.

XXOOXX for John Tartaglia!

Steven :)

PS: I know there'll be the usual responses to this posting from those who just don't "get" how important and true John's words are, but at least some of you do understand what an impact an out performer can have. Once again, thank you John!
The complete interview with John T.

[lamentingenvelope]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 6:32am

Three cheers for Johnnie and all the openly gay performers out there!

[adamgreer]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 8:42am

I think it's funny he mentioned Tom Cruise when discussing closeted Hollywood performers. You think he's trying to insinuate something?
Updated On: 9/8/05 at 08:42 AM

[BoxFive]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 9:14am

He's a real inspiration, such talent and heart!

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 10:11am

Why, adamgreer, how could ANYONE ever THINK that Tom Cruise is gay?

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 10:15am

heh. He's cute enough that he could get away with the Tom Cruise comment!

I'm not going to get into another fight, esl, but I will say that I am not blind, and that I see perfectly well what it was that you were insinuating. I will also say that I do "get" the importance of what Johnny says and what he's standing for, and that I heartily applaud him. There's nothing that I don't "get" about it, but it would be typical of you to dumb-down my opinions; of course, it can't be an opinion. It has to be stupidity and inability to understand or grasp to any degree whatsoever. I'm not going to make a post that goes against what *I* stand for just to prove to you that my opinion is grounded, because such a post would be an injustice to someone extremely important to me. And for the record, if your insinuation hadn't been there, I wasn't even going to bother bringing up the point; it's not worth either of our time, and you know that.


That out of the way, major props to John, on all grounds.

PS - https://forum.broadwayworld.com/readmessage.cfm?thread=866612&dt=090705045223

Updated On: 9/8/05 at 10:15 AM

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 10:30am

The original comment in the P.S. bothered me as well. I think it's just important to remember everyone is an individual, and no one can really be grouped to include all. Every individual faces certain situations that are different than others. I understand what John is saying and I love him for feeling that way, and perhaps he is right, it is most important to be happy. I'm glad being honest is what is able to make him happy.

Unfortunately, that's not true for everyone, and I think it's important to respect that.

Finally, I've never seen "privacy" used to lie and hide who they are. From my perspective and what I've seen in the media, when they choose to remain private, it doesn't necessarily mean they flat out lie and pretend to be straight or what-not, or go out of their way to hide the truth from others. I mean, my cousin is a lesbian, and never in my life actually came out and said it or declared it till I hinted at it by making a comment about her rainbow tattoo and the meaning behind it and she laughed and I realized. But she discussed how why she never declared it, she never made any effort to hide it, and would always answer truthfully as asked. She said to her it was just a part of who she was, like any other quality such as height, nationality, etc. Most people don't go around being vocal about these things, since it's just who they are.

Anyway, I completely appreciate and respect John and those like him, but I certainly don't hold it against others who are more private about it. Again, it's all about individuals. And yes, I am a straight female, who is friends with lots of gay people, but if you want to say I don't understand b/c of who I am, fine. But at the same token, couldn't I say you don't understand because you're not a famous public figure?

Em, there's no such things as stupid opinions, just stupid people. I freely admit to being quite a stupid person at times, but I still don't call mine or anyone else's opinion stupid.

[adamgreer]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 10:31am

Serious question: how do the Scientologists feel about homosexuality?
Updated On: 9/8/05 at 10:31 AM

[Urban]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 10:33am

Actually from what I have read, Scientology thinks homosexuality is a perversion.

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 10:54am

On the question of coming out:

If the issue was admitting you are gay to someone, that would be okay for people to not come out. The problem is that being in the closet is a syptom of a bigger problem -- self-hate.

Why do people not come out? Because they are ashamed of being who and what they are. There is literally no other reason. The only reason you would stay closeted is to help other people feel "okay" with you. And, to do that, you must admit that their opinion of you is more important than you being you fully.

And, that, ladies and gentlement, is not healthy.

[Rose_MacShane]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 10:55am

With every article I read, I love Johnny T that much more!!

[umgeoboy]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 11:03am

Rose I definitely agree the man is a sweetheart, and so genuine!

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 12:56pm

Touchme, I don't think that's the only reason.

Take sports players for instance. To my knowledge there were two men who played baseball who came out. Since doing so, they never worked in the sport again.

Or I've had friends who have been terrified to come out to their families, not at all b/c they hate who they are b/c they're terrified of the reaction. And some of those reactions have not been good, and I hate that it is that way, but it is.

[Fosse76]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 1:09pm

"Why do people not come out? Because they are ashamed of being who and what they are. There is literally no other reason."

That is definitel a very ignorant statement. There are a variety of reasons that one may not be open about his or her sexuality. To simply state as fact that closeted gay people are ashamed of themselves is false and does a disservice to all gay men and women. While it is mentally unhealthy to remain closeted, many have chosen to do so for reasons only they know. Blanket assumptions only hurt gay people.

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 1:11pm

terrified of the reaction means they care what other people believe...which means they repsect that belief enough to encourage it by not challenging it. It really does come down to self-hatred. As someone who has come out to the most staunchly religious family I know, trust me.

As far as the sports players go, cross apply the argument above about respecting anothers belief enough to not challange it. FYI, there are a number of out former baseball players...but no one has been fired for being gay. No one has yet to do it in baseball, so the notion of career suicide is just a hypothesis. The polls of the fans seem to say differently...they seem to not mind.

[uncageg]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 1:21pm

I know of people who are out, but not to their families. They risk being shunned by them. And that's a hard call. They are comfortable with their lifestyle but do not want to hurt their families. I even know instances where money is involved (Trust funds). So it isn't always because people hate who they are, they just don't want to upset their families or rock the boat, so to speak. Fosse, I agree with your statement.

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 2:22pm

I understand the notion of being shunned is the foremost thought in the minds of people who are gay and not out.

The point is that by staying in the closet you don't even give the other person A CHANCE to accept or reject you. And, trust me, you never know what the repsonse will be -- the people I expected to accept me didn't, and those I expected to disown me didn't. When you stay closeted, it is because you don't respect yourself enough to come out because you don't respect the other person enough to give them the truth because some part of you buys the arguments that being gay is bad/wrong.

Yes, you MAY lose funds. Lying is more expensive.

yes, you may be shunned. Lying shuns you from youself (let alone God).

All sorts of things may happen, but truth is always right. ALWAYS.

[EponineThenardier]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 2:25pm

John. you are a true one in a billion, and been in inspiration to many! We love you!

[BreakingTheCircle07]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 2:35pm

Agreed, John has been a HUGE inspiration. I really look up to him as a great performer and an amazing role model. Thanks!

[Fosse76]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 3:07pm

"I understand the notion of being shunned is the foremost thought in the minds of people who are gay and not out. "

Once again, you make a blanket assumption that may or may not be true, which is dangerous.

"The point is that by staying in the closet you don't even give the other person A CHANCE to accept or reject you. And, trust me, you never know what the repsonse will be "

What may be true in your case is may or may not be true is someone else's case. Stop making broad generalizations.

"When you stay closeted, it is because you don't respect yourself enough to come out because you don't respect the other person enough to give them the truth because some part of you buys the arguments that being gay is bad/wrong."

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. There are so many reasons people don't come out of the closet. I'm not going to generalise reasons either because I personally do not know why people don't. It changes for each person, and to make a broad assumption like that is presumptuous and rude. It also isn't really any of your business, and who are you to judge?

"Yes, you MAY lose funds. Lying is more expensive."

Homosexuality is not a protected class. One can lose a job, one can lose their home, club memberships, etc. One can even be injured by a random stranger, simply due to the perception that one is gay.

"yes, you may be shunned. Lying shuns you from youself (let alone God)."

Not really. And since God doesn't exist that argument is futile.

"All sorts of things may happen, but truth is always right. ALWAYS."

The failure to disclose one's sexuality is not a lie. And I ask, who are you to make that judgment. According to that fairytale story about God and such, isn't it a sin to judge others? That is exactly what you are doing. People do what they do. Period. You, as far as I can tell, are in NO position to make judgments or condemnations of others. What worked for you won't necessarily work for others. There is no black & white answer in this world. There is no one size fits all way of doing things. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were a Republican. :o)

[wickedrentq]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 3:14pm

::applauses Fosse::

I really can't anything, except in the example I gave w/ sports, in that case to me, it's about more than even funds/money. It's not being able to do something you love.

Otherwise, ::bows down to Fosse::

Posted: 9/8/05 at 3:26pm

*golf claps* I love Johnny T so much! :) This is just another reason be a fan!

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 3:28pm

Fosse,

it is clear to me that you didn't intend for me to respond to your arguments. However, if you wish to hear my thoughts on the subject, I can dispute your arguments (and all the logical fallacies they include). But, it seems as if you just want to feel better about whatever internalized homophobia you are experiencing. That's the way it SEEMS, I could be wrong.

Let me know if you really want to hear my opinion or if you are content where you are now.

[BroadwayBettini2]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 3:42pm

Johnny T. has a good idea about influence. But people have to remember that progress is a slow process. So, there will always be people who will never accept homosexuality, at least in our lifetime. And there will always be people who are uncomfortable with themselves and thier sexuality. But more stars coming out is good, and sends a positive message to homosexual teens, who are presently in the closet. It's one of the biggest steps they will take in thier lives, and even though there might be repercussions, in the end it will make them happier. They get to be themselves and thats the most important thing.

I'm glad Johnny T decided to put this in a playbill do a mass amount of people can read it, thats a great step in the right direction.

[Fosse76]

Posted: 9/8/05 at 3:57pm

"I can dispute your arguments (and all the logical fallacies they include). But, it seems as if you just want to feel better about whatever internalized homophobia you are experiencing. That's the way it SEEMS, I could be wrong. "

You can't dispute my arguments. There is no study as to why people don't come out of the closet (for obvious reasons). You made a Broad statement of what you called fact and I disputed you. Unless you can read the minds of every gay person who has not let it publicly known that they are gay, you are in NO position to speculate as to their reason. What may have been true in your case is not true in someone else's case. And for the record, the only time I've ever been in the closet is when I was replacing my wardrobe. So stop making blanket assumptions which you apparently know little about.