Raul Esparza Interview in Sunday Times — Page 6

My jaw literally dropped when I opened up good ol' perezhilton.com and saw that.

Updated On: 11/26/06 at 12:08 AM

Thank you, skittles. I totally agree; I think that to admit conflict and confusion over who you are takes just as much, if not more, bravery than does coming out in total security. It's courageous, yet sadly vulnerable.

I'm still in disbelief.

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I was reading through the comments about him trying to "work it out" with his wife and what that meant. I didn't interpret that to mean he was trying to work out or save his marriage. I kind of thought he sounded like he was trying to work out keeping her in his life. By him saying it was "an end", it sounded like he was resolving himself to the fact that the marriage itself was over but he didn't want a relationship with his wife to end. Not in a "have your cake and eat it to" kind of way (like someone said), but in a way where they are still a part of each other's lives.

Updated On: 11/26/06 at 02:22 AM

Please, incredibly rude would be to go about having a conversation like what went on today while he was still in the closet. This information has been around for the taking for years without him saying a word about his orientation. People have eyes and ears and they TALK. That's only common logic. It's not about who has it; it's about how it's used, and as far as any of the accused parties go, it hasn't been in public.

Most of his fans call him "private" because until now, he has been, and not just because he was in the closet. He's been known to, while being very candid, maintain a very strictly business-only public persona. He will talk about his work until the proverbial cows come home, but mostly only his work. Don't use your cynicism to make US out to be the fools. What I hate most about situations like this is when people who KNOW what this is like trivialize, call it a cry for pity and show zero sensitivity because they're jaded cynics. I know you think he's an asshole, CPD, but really, you're being kind of tactless. One interview after all of these years doesn't negate everything else.

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Updated On: 11/26/06 at 02:31 AM

Such courage, yet startling and sad. It is inspiring to see a low-key person detailing such troublesome issues he has dealt with for the public to read. I don't know how wise it is, but it was a personal decision on his part that I am sure he is satisfied with making.

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well yes, now that it is in the open, it is 'fair game,' absolutely. But for her to say "well, we all understood" unless there were spoken words or undeniable evidence *other than his adorableness* before this 'coming out' or whatever is rude.

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Updated On: 11/26/06 at 02:54 AM

Considering you don't know what I'm referring to and how I know, you have no right to claim that I'm rudely making assumptions without evidence. If he's going to show up to dinner with friends and introduce them to his boyfriend, people will know even if it wasn't yet on the front cover of the Arts and Leisure section.

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Updated On: 11/26/06 at 03:17 AM

I'm glad I read the article before this thread. His honesty IS astonishing, as Emcee said, and--as MichaelBennett said--more appropriate to a therapist's office than the NY Times.

But, typically, CurtainPullDowner attributes nasty motives to Raul's actions. I am always astonished at how nasty CurtainPullDowner delights in being.

It is clear from the explosive nature of his confessions that Raul's sudden honesty after several years of privacy is not to get publicity but to finally be able to STOP being dishonest.

I don't think he implies that he wants to "go straight again" and go back to his wife. I think it's clear that he "adores" her as an adored best friend and wants her to be in his life in a way that she can feel good about too.

The most moving part of the article, for me, was what he said about being haunted by the lover who committed suicide. Bisexuality is a difficult subject; surviving the suicide of a loved one is just as difficult or more so.

So I'm amazed that he aired all that dirty laundry in the NY Times (not so dirty, actually), and I wish him peace, success and happiness. I can't WAIT to see the show.

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Nobody... having been in a similar situation (my boyfriend came out after 2 1/2 years, though thank god before we did anything like get married) I really have to say... yes, I'd be ok with it. I was ok with it. I was ok with him telling his family we were still together until he found the right time to talk about it. And I encouraged him to write about it for a college class. No, it wasn't nearly an identical situation, but as far as do I think he dishonored his wife in any way? Not at all.

Thanks for the response, Behind_the_Spotlight, but I do feel, from your description, that the two situations are different (as you yourself say). A college paper is not the New York Times. And you weren't married and with a child. And he wasn't famous (I presume).

And it's not just his wife. I wonder what his mother will feel, presuming that he plans to continue having a relationship with her.

I don't want to make it sound like I think he's a despicable human being. But I also don't see anything admirable about the way in which he's done this.

And just so there's no misunderstanding, I'm all for people coming out, I wish more prominent people would. I think it's good that he came out, I just feel this wasn't the best way to do so. And even if his wife is OK with the way he did it, I still think he doesn't come off as very sensitive to her feelings, not to mention those of his parents'. There was no need for some of those details.

No, he wasn't famous, which is why, as we both say, it's not the same. And no, we weren't married, but everyone we knew expected us to go there eventually. All I was really saying was, from the perspective of someone who was with someone for a really long time (well, compared to how young we were) and then having him come out, I don't feel he was being particularly insensitive to her feelings. He says they are best friends, which was (and still is) my case as well, so I assume this was done with her blessing.

As for his parents, I can't really say. Other people have said it better than I can. I just felt like his honesty and what people are saying is overshare are what moved me about the article.

Also, I didn't think he had children?

I may be wrong, but I thought I'd read in a piece about him a few years ago that he and his wife had a child.