Raul Esparza Interview in Sunday Times- Page 7

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 10:50am

Theatertrash, if that was to me, no, it's not messy *because* they're not ready to be public about it yet. It's complicated for all of the pretty obvious reasons.

Raúl does not have kids.

He doesn't refer to the professor by name. It would've been stupid if he had. I'm sure if someone really cared enough to figure out who it was, they could, but that's a huge waste of time and nobody's fault but your own if you care that much.

His family may not be thrilled. But at the end of the day, they've all seen worse and he's probably hurt them simply by virtue of being invovlved with him far, far more than letting the public know about it ever could. He has perhaps (hopefully not regretably) acted with his heart more than he has his head. I would have expected him to. And, at the end of the day, this is a very complicated, difficult person who has done a lot of damage and is making one of the most personal decisions to finally stop being dishonest with himself and with the world (or, at least the portion of it which pays him any attention). None of this is an ounce of surprise to his family, his wife, the man he's invovled with, or to a lot of other people. He did what he felt he had to do in a paradoxically (because it is *so* distinctly public) personal move.

It is so easy to judge from the outside, though, is it not?

Updated On: 11/26/06 at 10:50 AM

[Sondheim Geek]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:03am

Updated On: 11/26/06 at 11:03 AM

[best12bars]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:06am

I think there is a lot to be said for the old cliche, "The truth will set you free."

I'll bet he's glad he gave the interview.

I'll also bet there will be some fallout from it... particularly with his mother. And I'm sure he already knows that. It's easier for him to deal with her and her issues on a truthful level than to try to defend or explain himself and his life hiding behind a shroud of secrecy, half-truths and deception.

I'll bet it's like a giant weight being lifted from his shoulders.

I'm surprised at the people who say they're uncomfortable with it. These are many of the same people who thirst 'round the clock for personal information about their favorite celebrities. Perhaps when they read something they don't want to read, it's just not so fun to dig or gossip anymore. Or perhaps it's because they too are struggling with personal issues (not necessarily sexual identity issues) that they are uncomfortable discussing with their own loved ones or relatives. Maybe this kind of talk is too close to home for some.

I applaud Raul, and I will bet that his life will be easier now... because when he is judged by family or loved ones, he has his own truth to fall back on now. And that's as solid a foundation as anyone can ask for.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:10am

"He doesn't refer to the professor by name." No, but he refers to the school, the theater company they went to together afterward, and the time period. People involved in any of those factors will immediately know. And again, for that professor's family, I'm sure it's very painful and unwelcome to have that out there.

[Sondheim Geek]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:12am

b12b - anyone would feel uncomfortable reading someone's personal and private information. I personally don’t feel right reading something so revealing about someone I don’t know. I guess I’m not exactly the sort of person who scrounges on the internet for every detail of Esparza’s life. What I like about this board is that 90% honor the actor/ress’ work, and that’s all.

I agree with you, he probably feels better, happier of course. But who are we to say? If he just broke up his family, he’s not going to be elated.

[aspiringactress]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:12am

Well said b12b.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:23am

b12, yes, exactly. Someone I'm close to is an actor of the out-and-proud sort, and very, very adamant about advocacy issues as well as that of why people would come out of the closet in the press -- why it's a good thing to do -- and we've discussed it at length. At its most simplistic level, he said that he believes (having done it himself, obviously) that the truth is freeing. Being in the closet means to hide a fairly significant piece of who you are, and even if it is "just" your sexuality, I suppose there's a domino effect in there that leads to other things being masked as well. It is desperately painful and lonely to live a lie like that; when you live a public lie, you also lie to yourself, and to finally be honest with yourself and those around you is liberating -- like a weight has been lifted. I'd imagine that that's a very big part of Raúl's decision, as he's finally coming to terms with his sexuality.

He's a smart, smart guy. I'm willing to bet he knew exactly what he was doing, even if he did act emotionally.

As for the "dissection," I think he planned this to be what it was, and that he gave it a lot of thought. I think he knew he was going to do this -- the possibility of wanting to has been kicking around for some time. After so many years of struggle, I highly, highly doubt he just sat down to do a regular old interview and this is what came out, pun unintended. People plan these sorts of (rather explosive) things.

Oh, and PS, if the "scrounge the internet" was about myself and some others who have known about this, well, don't assume that's where it's from. No, he never told us about his orientation. He wouldn't, of course. And like I said earlier this morning, no, we didn't just look at a limp wrist and go "oh God, he's so gay." I'm not posting any further detail to that issue, but read between the lines a little bit, okay?

The interview on iTunes is the ATW Downstage Center one, I think. I have it too, and it's brilliant. He doesn't go into much detail about the professor, though. Less than in the article, if I remember correctly.

Updated On: 11/26/06 at 11:23 AM

[nobodyhome]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:24am

"It is so easy to judge from the outside, though, is it not?"

I've seen very little judgment of him here. Questioning what he did, yes. But judgment? I'm not seeing much of that. I don't think I've done that. But I am a bit mystified as to why people think what he's done is so wonderful, though I do think it's good that he's come out, as I've stated.

best12bars, you wrote, "I'm surprised at the people who say they're uncomfortable with it. These are many of the same people who thirst 'round the clock for personal information about their favorite celebrities."

Only a very few people have questioned how he did this. I can't say that I'm terribly aware of how others who've expressed uncertainty and/or reservations about this situation may feel about learning personal info about their favorite celebrities. For myself, in general I'm most interested in the careers of my favorite theatre artists, not so much their personal lives. That's not to say that gossip isn't fun, but even in reading a bio, I'm usually more interested in the professional, not personal, information.

[best12bars]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:25am

"b12b - anyone would feel uncomfortable reading someone's personal and private information."


If that were true, then how do you begin to explain the mighty tabloid industry... and virtually every magazine and newspaper in existence?

Somebody's buying them, God knows.... somebody's writing all those stories because so many people want to read them, right? How could you make a statement like that?

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:28am

nobodyhome, I was being facecious, I'm sorry.

I think it's good that he's come out. Best possible way? Maybe not. But if he felt he did what he had to do, then alright. I'm nobody to criticize that.

[nobodyhome]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:41am

Thanks for the clarification, luvtheEmcee.

[jimnysf]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:43am

I think it was brave of him to share his personal life with the readers of the NY Times. I admire him for that.

For those speculating on the identity of the professor, I think it's "The Big Professor" from the old Sandy Becker show on WNEW TV (NY Channel 5). To those worried about how this news will impact the family of the late "Big Professor", I have it on good authority that family member Norton Nork was neither shocked nor surprised to read about the professor's sexuality.

[To The Stage!]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:46am

Just read the article--I know this was said throughout this thread, but I just wanted to add my two cents in. What a great article and I'm really proud and impressed that he had the guts to put his personal life out there, in a New York Times article. His honesty was amazing, and I admit I was shocked at all of the difficulties in his life. Wish him the best of luck and more success in his wonderful career. I can't wait to see Company.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:53am

"And again, for that professor's family, I'm sure it's very painful and unwelcome to have that out there."

You're sure but you don't know that, Rath. They may be very happy to see the truth out. You can never know what's in the hearts of suicide survivors. Some long for an end to the secrecy and shame.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 11:57am

Don't assume to know what I know and don't know about suicide survivors, and I won't assume to know what this particular family wants. But it could certainly go either way, couldn't it?

Just because it wasn't a shock to THEM, doesn't mean they want the world to read about his affair with a student.

[best12bars]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 12:02pm

I'm really surprised at the people who continue to speculate about the private lives of others on a public message board, and yet claim to feel uncomfortable about reading the same type of information published elsewhere.

[CurtainPullDowner]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 12:06pm

Why is it considered "cruel" to point out that if he didn't have a show opening on Broadway this week this article would not be in any newspaper much less the NY TIMES?
It's not as if he went to the ADVOCATE between jobs and said, "hey I have a story that might help some people struggling with their own sexuality like I am"
As emcee has stated, anyone who knows Raul or who has worked with him or even the NY Theatre community in general know he has a wife and has had boyfriends also.
This is not news.
If you want to applaud him and see this "confession" as heroic, go right ahead.
I (being the old cruel witch that I am) do not see it that way and I am not the only one here who seems to have that opinion.

[jimnysf]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 12:15pm

[Tirso de Molina]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 12:16pm

I was very moved by this interview; it's rare that you open up the Sunday Times Arts & Leisure section and find yourself reading something so emotionally raw -- it wasn't the actual biographical facts that made the interview so intimate, it was the emotional intensity.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 12:26pm

I think Tirso put his finger on it: Those who are moved are moved by the raw emotionality of his frankness. Those who are disturbed are disturbed by the actual details he shares.

The raw emotionality, curiously, is what any actor playing Bobby has to achieve by the time he stands downstage and sings "Being Alive."

[jeremykushnier1fan]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 12:28pm

Wow, congrates to Raul! That was an amazing article, simply amazing.

[Muhlethaler]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 2:25pm

Updated On: 7/20/18 at 02:25 PM

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 2:31pm

CPD, say what you want, but do not take what I'm saying and spin it to fit your point, or make it look like it fits. It's pretty clear that I do not agree with you at all.

I think he is a beautiful, beautiful person with a wonderful heart who has made human mistakes, but that he's opened up that heart in a very scary way. No matter which way you cut that, it takes a ton of courage. And it may in fact take more courage to do so when your situtation is this terribly f*cked up and it's not a black-and-white case of "hi, I'm gay." From what I understand, without saying too much, as he's becoming more secure with who he is, he's changing a lot -- for the better. Yes, that's for all of you who think he's overwhelmingly a jerk.

SondheimGeek, I just had a long bus ride, so I took a listen to that interview (I have it on Podcast) to see what he said since you had brought it up. I was wrong; he doesn't talk about that guy in anything but a professional context, but he does use a name. He probably said the name then and had no intention at that point of telling the world they had an affair. But I guess that's that.

Updated On: 11/26/06 at 02:31 PM

[everythingtaboo]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 2:50pm

Ditto what PalJoey and Tirso say.

It's a beautiful, honest piece, and kudos to Raul for admitting that becoming an artist and a man on your own terms is not always an easy process, especially with so many outside influences.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 11/26/06 at 3:02pm

And again, for that professor's family, I'm sure it's very painful and unwelcome to have that out there.

Who's to say that the family will even read the article? Let alone put two and two together and figure out that the professor he's talking about is their loved one. Considering Raul was close to him as well, why should he not be allowed to talk about it? It affected him as well and since we don't know the details, it belittles their relationship and the impact he had on Raul's life for you to suggest he's not allowed to talk about him. And how can you assume that the family didn't already know about Raul's relationship with him? Or that they would have a problem with this being discussed? You shouldn't be so judgemental when it's a situation you know nothing about, and are basing all of your arguments solely on assumption.