Worst show YOU HAVE BEEN IN?- Page 6

[PiraguaGuy2]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 3:51pm

From the Page 1 West Side Story anecdote:
First of all, the music was taken out. ALL OF IT.

Sounds like Arthur Laurents' dream.

[Theatreboy49]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 4:08pm

I was in the worst production of wizard of oz ever. I was 13 playing the mayor of munchkin land doing the director a favor. The cast was great. The theatre space and costumes and sets were not. We had a bum living in the basement of the theatre and his name was rick. I like to pretend the show never happened. The company had no money and it was just the worst thing I have ever been a part of.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 4:54pm

That horrible West Side Story sounds hilarious. Couldn't your school have just done Romeo and Juliet instead?

Anyway, worst shows I've been in:

The Electric Sunshine Man in fourth grade. It's a musical about Thomas Edison, and I played Thomas Edison in Act One and a boy played him in Act Two. Apparently, the audience wasn't supposed to notice the difference. The boy and I each had about fifty lines, and everyone else in the show (about a bajillion people... well, the entire fourth grade) had one line each and appeared in the ensemble for two songs each.

Sample lyric of my big song:
If it's never been done, we can do it
We can do it, yes indeed
If it's never been thought, we'll think through it
Yes indeed!
There's nothing we can't do
If we're determined to
Yes we are the best
We are the best
And we'll prove it
Yes indeed!

OH THIS IS THE INVENTION FACTORY
WHERE WE MAKE THINGS THAT NEVER WAS
(Never waaaa-aaaas)
If it's impossible, bring it to us
That's what this factory, that's what this factory
That's what this factory DOES
That's what this factoryyyyyyy..... DOOOOOOOES!


The next year, we did Macbeth, and it was pretty good, but a six-foot guy with dark hair, a mustache and a bass voice (who was ten years old!) played Macbeth in act one, and a tiny little blonde boy played him in act two. The audience had no idea they were supposed to play the same character for quite some time.

The worst show I've ever done, though, was Starmites in seventh grade. Nobody at all knew their part, and neither the actors, the audience, or the director understood what the plot was supposed to be about. There was no music director, so we were just supposed to learn the songs ourselves from the CD. Our female lead didn't know any of her songs (though all of the other characters were really fantastic) and very few of her lines, and there were five scenes and two songs that we never rehearsed before the play opened. I played a cannibalistic banshee, and it takes a pretty goshawful show to make that NOT enjoyable.

Updated On: 5/12/09 at 04:54 PM

[breakfree303]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 5:21pm

When I was 14, I did Into the Woods, at a local theatre. The cast was between the ages 6-15. It basically sucked. The sets, costumes, direction, etc were all just very terrible.

But my part basically was during "intermission", I took part in this dance number consisting of little girls dressed as birds, gnomes, butterflies and Little Red and the Wolf were in it IN costume.
I was a gnome. Oh and the song was from Footloose.

I kid you not.
Basically, I was mortifyed to even be associated with the show for the minute and a half I was onstage.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 7:08pm

My first exposure to Follies. Except for the four leads, EVERYONE ELSE was played by 14-18 years old.

As a senior in High School, I was Hattie singing B'way Baby. I'm pretty sure we thought we were amazing....but deep down we knew it sucked.

PS....I used B'way Baby as my audition song for a really long time.

[SharpCookies]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 7:54pm

Both our Guys and Dolls and Footloose productions had some bad qualities about them. In Guys and Dolls our Adelaide was Asian and it was odd when she said her lines, and she couldn't really act. She could sing, though, but she didn't have a Brooklyn accent. I think there was a lot of over acting and under acting in it. And the dancing wasn't great. Quite a few basic jazz squares, actually. Oh, and our Nicely-Nicely couldn't sing AT ALL so we actually had to get our Nathan to sing "Sit Down You're Rocking The Boat". It was my first musical, though, so it was a fun experience.

Footloose I think was pretty bad... I actually had a role in that one (Cowgirl Bobbie Sue, the female version of Cowboy Bob. I got to sing "Still Rockin'" with a girl from my "band") but still. Our dancing was better in Footloose than in Guys and Dolls, but it still wasn't great. Our Shaw wasn't good. At all. He could sing, but Shaw's songs were out of his range. Our Rusty was ok, and sometimes our Ariel's singing bugged me. And Wendy Jo couldn't sing. Our Willard couldn't sing much either, but his acting was great.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 7:57pm

Quite a few basic jazz squares, actually. Oh, and our Nicely-Nicely couldn't sing AT ALL so we actually had to get our Nathan to sing "Sit Down You're Rocking The Boat".

Hey, our Nathan also sang Sit Down! But our Nicely had a great voice-- just a deep one. Nathan was the best singer in the cast, but he was also the best actor. The role of Nathan was perfect for him, despite the extremely small singing part, so giving him the song worked in our version.

[singtopher]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 8:05pm

Wow, add me to the list of folks who've done awful productions of G&D. As far as the worst actual show, a little show called Young Abe Lincoln. The love duet was "Aw, Shucks." Not bad as far a production quality.

[MrSweetNAwful]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 8:07pm

Sophomore Year of high school I was Asagai in A Raisin in the Sun. Ooooooh that production was rough, there were like one or two good performers but meh it was pretty crappy. And our set budget was basically wiped out so we did the whole thing with furniture, two doors and cardboard boxes lined up making the outline of the apartment that the moving men took away at the end. Lindner was played by two girls. We also added three cut scenes from the play (that obviously should have stayed cut). The whole thing ran about 3 hours. I felt bad for all the people in the audience every night.

[SharpCookies]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 8:09pm

@Schmerg: Our Nathan was ok. He was pretty good at acting, but his singing was... odd. Not bad, just odd.
Updated On: 5/12/09 at 08:09 PM

[wonderfulwizard11]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 8:21pm

Babes in Arms, my freshmen year of high school. The music in the show is classic, and our cast was pretty good, but the show really sucked. Our director was insane and cut up half the show. It was so indecipherable, the audience (and the cast) had no clue what was going on. Really terrible show.

[SharpCookies]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 8:51pm

Oh, and in both Footloose and Guys and Dolls at my school, our directors weren't very organized. We usually didn't know all of the songs and lines until the last minute, we don't get our singing director until a few weeks before showtime, all of our costumes and props come in late... we were pressing for time so much we cut some parts of the songs in Footloose. Oh, and for "Somebody's Eyes" the girls just stood still. They didn't do much with the song. It was annoying XD

[Hourglass Song]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 9:23pm

"She Loves Me," Senior Year of High School. The show itself wasn't bad, but it came as a disappointment after we were supposed to do a "school-friendly" version of Avenue Q that, it turns out, didn't exist at that time. Things were so not together that people started de-inviting their friends to see it.

At the last minute it looked like we had a pretty good production when the student playing Mr. Maracek accidentally ate mustard, to which he had a severe allergic reaction. The Detective became Mr. Maracek (cue cards in hand)and the choreographer became the detective.

All in all it was pretty fun but unfortunately not that many people saw it.

[chiuptown]

Posted: 5/12/09 at 9:44pm

I was a "featured dancer" (the choreography was atrocious) in the cast of Kiss Me Kate at my University, in an opera class. I was so not in to it, and as I had several minor walk on scenes with a few lines, the director wanted me to play each scene, lisping,etc in each of them. I was not good with that, since I was just coming out, and not reconciled to that. so!! i picked a cute frat guy to go across the alley with to a bar and drink beers and play pool till we were called for numbers. made it through that one, and never knew what that play was about. me and the frat guy have lots of laughs about that. btw this is the funniest thread I've read in a long time. love you guys

[jejr]

Posted: 5/13/09 at 8:51am

A local production of "Gypsy" playing Herbie opposite a really BAD Mama Rose. She would not relate to anyone on stage and would rush scenes just to get to the musical numbers. They used some kind of dog for the Little Lamb. It was an abomination and soured me on Gypsy forever.

[TonyVincent]

Posted: 5/13/09 at 9:20am

Wow, add me to the list of folks who've done awful productions of G&D.

Are you sure you aren't all in the current Broadway revival?

[philcrosby]

Posted: 5/13/09 at 10:18am

A production of "A Midsummer Night's Dream." One night a smokepot lit the set afire. Another night some sparklers lit one of the fairies on fire. The fairies, all in leotards and sequins, were a rather lumpen lot and embarrassed to seen. Every night someone was sick and an unprepared understudy was thrown on.

One of the opening night reviews said, "I would rather be forced to crawl on my belly through a coal mine than be forced to sit through this production again."

[SingingCats]

Posted: 5/13/09 at 1:06pm

"The Matchmaker" in 11th grade. It's "Hello, Dolly!" minus the music and plus an hour. No one knew their lines and not a lot of people came. But the set was beautiful! In terms of worst incident, definitely in a 9th grade production of "Much Ado About Nothing", when an actor's cell phone fell out of his pocket on stage. After getting offstage, he then called his phone to try and find it, only to have the ringer get picked up by the mics and force the entire audience to listen to his ringtone. He called at least four times.

[Ftworthguy]

Posted: 5/13/09 at 1:13pm

About 10 years ago I was in a production of "MacBird" -- The Scottish play set in the LBJ White House. Ghosts were Jack and Bobby Kennedy. I was one of the three witches, who were a hippie chick, an 'angry black man' and a migrant worker (me)

All done in Iambic Pentameter -- Hor-ri-ble!!!

[Ed_Mottershead]

Posted: 5/13/09 at 2:59pm

Worst for me was a high school production of South Pacific. First of all, everyone wore walkie-talkies around their waists -- don't ask me why. The Bloody Mary was a tall skinny blond who sang way off key. Emile's hair had been dusted with white powder so that every time he or anyone ran their hand through his hair a hugh balloon of white powder shot up in the air. Cable was a very undernourished, skinny kid whose cap kept falling down his nose and none of his clothes fit. The Emile had a bad case of adenoids, which resulted in This Nearly Was Mine coming out like "Now, now Imb alone, stilld dweambing of parabise" and the Luther Billis, a jock, thought he was the funniest thing in creation, which he was for all the wrong reasons. And Nellie's "solo" Honey Bun turned into a big production number where she was backed up by at least 50 guys and girls who got into a big kick-line.

Updated On: 5/13/09 at 02:59 PM

[luceecool]

Posted: 5/13/09 at 3:34pm

Uni version of H2$ (which you'd expect to be good right?)
Our Rosemary sounded like a whale yawning and had absolutely no chemistry with Finch (who was alright but it seems to have made him rather smug).Our Biggley couldn't cope with the concept of rhythm and barely knew his lines. There weren't enough guys to fill all the parts so almost all the small male parts were doubled up, Womper ended up with a German accent to distinguish the fact that he'd already played Gatch. The lift doors always seemed to stick. The director didn't seem to believe in choreography so the only bit of dancing was a little for the opening number and a little for the ending number, other than that everything was rather stationary. The Paris original dresses seemed to fit nobody.
Oh yes and everybody kept dropping out because they didn't get on with the director so I ended up playing second cleaner with only a few weeks to learn the dance routine which involved mops that shed dust like crazy everytime we used them. The director also insisted we had a walk on cameo later in the act so I seemed to be constantly changing costume. We had to postpone opening night because the tech wasn't finished, the committee (who produce the show) and the director fell out over this leading to nobody caring anymore.

Fun times...

[jamiekennywicked]

Posted: 5/13/09 at 4:19pm

Was in a variety show in march and they cut out a dance number and i forgot and i was clapping and jumping around and everyone was like 'what the hell' Luckily i was up the back