You favorite funny line- Page 4

[BakersWife3]

Posted: 5/14/04 at 7:24pm

ST:

"What is that?"
"It's fop, finest in the shop and we have some shepard's pie peppered with actual shepard on top"

that whole song is genius!

[Becky]

Posted: 5/14/04 at 7:54pm

So many classic lines in Urinetown, but especially during the moment where the two cops are breaking up the riot..................
(screaming in desperation)"They have ONE....TWO.....TWO MEN -- and we're all so poor!!!"

I think my newest favorite line is from 'bare' when they are rehearsing Romeo and Juliet:

Nadia slaps Ivy.

Director (something to the affect of): "I looked all through the script and I don't think the nurse slaps Juliet."

Nadia (slaps Ivy again while holding her script): "I really think there's a slap there."

[guido22]

Posted: 5/15/04 at 12:36pm

Agnes Gooch (Mame) is singing of being pregnant,
"If life is a banuet, I stuffed myself!"



"We really need a good revival of Mame on Broadway."

-Theaterbaby
i agree, Mame is one of the greatest shows I think I've ever seen. It's a classic and it needs to be revived!!
Updated On: 5/15/04 at 12:36 PM

[GovernorSlaton]

Posted: 5/15/04 at 5:12pm

How about some Bat Boy:

"He'll think about you more if he talks to you less."
"Mom, Rick already knows that I like him."
"Don't talk like a slut, Shelley."

"The revival is the social event of the season!"

"Sweet wounded Jesus!"

[broadwayguy2]

Posted: 5/15/04 at 5:16pm

jackie Hoffman at the hairspray matinee ::

"The biggest hit show on Broadway and we have empty seats in the front row. What's the matter with people, Lon? Are they afraid of the rain? .. bunch of pussies."

[TheGirlinTheFrock]

Posted: 5/15/04 at 5:27pm

This has been bothering me for weeks because i cant remember the line, but it was from 42nd St.
they are talking about musicians and saying "thats why we keep them in a pit"

anyone know that line?

[~FloweryFriend~]

Posted: 5/15/04 at 6:39pm

When Whoopi Goldberg was in "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum", her character was trying to talk Hysterium into dressing like a woman. Conversation went something like:


Hysterium: He'll never believe I'm a girl. Look at me.
Whoopi: Mmmm, Miss Thang. You are SO FINE!!!
Hysterium: But what if he tries to kiss me?
Whoopi: He won't try to kiss you.
Hysterium: How can he help it if I'm, 'SO FINE'?


The guy playing Hysterium said that last line with a Whoopi-esque 'black-cent'. It was so funny I almost cried.

[iruvyou]

Posted: 5/15/04 at 7:07pm

Ok i just think that most of avenue q is hilarious! And a lot of lines from Bat boy are funny and a lot of the ones i like were already mentioned i'm not gonna type 'em again.

[HunterFosterIsMyGod]

Posted: 5/15/04 at 7:47pm

something from Avenue Q...hmm....

[CurtainUp]

Posted: 5/16/04 at 2:59pm

It's not outright funny, but just SO cheesy and predictable, from "The Boyfriend".

(Bobby has just proposed to Maisie and she says she'll tell him in a few hours.)

Bobby: Well, there's only one thing we can do while waiting...

Chorus: What's that?

Bobby: DANCE!!!!

[bially082]

Posted: 5/16/04 at 4:57pm

The Man Who CAme To Dinner.


Miss Preen- "Oh, you mustn't eat candy Mr Whiteside, it's very....bad.....for.....you."

Sheridan Whiteside- "Miss Preen. My Great aunt Jennifer ate a whole box of candy everyday of her life, she lived to be a hundred and two, and when she had been dead for three days she still looked better than you do now."

[BakersWife3]

Posted: 5/17/04 at 11:20am

hee love the man who came to dinner!

"we'll name the first child Beverly"
"well then I hope it's a girl"

[WestEndBird]

Posted: 5/18/04 at 9:40pm

"If your intention was to shoot an arrow through my heart.......BULLSEYE!"
-Producers

[NativeNewYorker]

Posted: 5/19/04 at 9:44am

"It's not outright funny, but just SO cheesy and predictable, from "The Boyfriend".
(Bobby has just proposed to Maisie and she says she'll tell him in a few hours.)

Bobby: Well, there's only one thing we can do while waiting...

Chorus: What's that?

Bobby: DANCE!!!! "

That made me think of Hairspray:

"They can keep us from kissing, but they can't stop us from singing!" (Link)

[BakersWife3]

Posted: 5/24/04 at 7:09pm

while strolling down memory lane the other day, i came across some old SP quotes:

"Oh no, I love black. Just not on me...or anyone that I know. Of course, if I had your complexion, I might wear black too." ~Percy

"Boys, when they ask you where you've been for the last two days what will you tell them?"
"Off netting butterflies {look from Percy} I *was* off netting butterflies" ~Percy + Elton

"We meet again Sir Percy."
"So we do and you appear to have lost none of your flair for stating the obvious." ~Chauvelin + Percy

hee...also remembered one from Kiss Me Kate

"Oh there was a waltz in it, remember? Something about a bar" ~Lilli

P.S. I am determined to not let this thread die - so keep thinking!! :)

[StateOfJade]

Posted: 5/24/04 at 7:38pm

Lots from Normal Heart:

Ned: Guys like you give me a pain in the ass.
Felix: Are you in the book?
Ned: Yes.

Felix: All you ever eat is deserts.
Ned: Sugar is the most important thing in my life. All the rest if just yo stay alive.

Felix: You're a basketcase
Ned: F*CK off.

[wildparty20]

Posted: 5/24/04 at 7:38pm

More BAT BOY! I love this show...

Meredith: "You have to look out for these boys Shelly. MOst of them are so out of control with their hormones that they really aren't in charge of their actions. But you don't suffer from their hormonal problems, so you'll bear the responsibility if something happens."
Shelly: "Like what?"
Meredith: "The wages of sin is death, sweetheart, that's all I'm saying."

Lorraine: "Oh, you boys are in denial. I went out to that ranch of yours yesterday and every one of those bony cows was lying around like a welfare mother."

Mrs. Taylor: "That's right. Burn, you freak! Burn! You'll pay for what you did to me. You'll pay in hell Bat Boy!"

Parker: "Don't worry folks, the creature is on what is commonly know as a 'rampage.'"

[GovernorSlaton]

Posted: 5/24/04 at 10:40pm

Alright, more Bat Boy:

Meredith: Clean the railing.
Shelley: But it's not dirty.
Meredith: You can't wait until it GETS dirty.

Maggie: Bud, it's time for you boys to wake up and smell the music.

Edgar: (to Dr. Parker) Hello, Father. (it's not as funny out of context)

Edgar: The revival is the social event of the season.

Edgar: Indubitably!

Such a great show.

[vjRichie]

Posted: 5/25/04 at 11:06am

here's two from the m.p. THE WOMEN -
Joan Crawford's character Crystal Allen to the other women:
"There's a name for you ladies, but it's not used in high society... outside of a kennel!"

a distressed Countess DeLave:
"get me a bromide...and put some gin in it!"

Updated On: 5/25/04 at 11:06 AM

[emmamia]

Posted: 5/25/04 at 1:12pm

marriage is an institution for people who belong in an institution - Rosie and Tanya - Mamma Mia

if we get any more white people in here ... it'll be a suburb - Hairspray

[jonartdesigns]

Posted: 5/25/04 at 3:08pm

the producers:
max: alamenchen mushelmachen haiden tomalgastzen pipchlachen
woman: what does that mean?
max: who knows i don't speak yiddish

[son_of_a_gunn_25]

Posted: 5/25/04 at 3:26pm

Extraordinary how potent cheap music is!

Posted: 5/25/04 at 3:48pm

"Watch them, Charlotte. Watch them both like--"
"A hawk? I know, dear. You're the tiger, I'm the hawk. We're our own zoo!"

[StateOfJade]

Posted: 5/25/04 at 10:11pm

Bare:
Virgin Mary: I may be a virgin, but I still know what goes on.
Peter: Holy ****.
Virgin Mary: I'll pretend I didn't hear that.

[CapnHook]

Posted: 5/25/04 at 10:23pm

Most anything "Little Sally" from URINETOWN:

"How 'bout bad subject matter? Or a bad title, even, that could kill a show pretty good."

"Not so much, as it is, a METOPYHSICAL place!"