You favorite funny line

[mominator]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 4:23pm

Mine was for a long time from "A Chorus Line".. " To commit suicide in Buffalo would be redundent".
But after Sly Fox I think it may be from "Sly Fox" and Pro.Irwin Corey " She's a BIMMMMMBO"

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 4:27pm

There are just SO many good laugh lines out there (I have quite a few on my face right now...LOL)....
"Let Miss Trixie sit up front with her big ol' tits!"
"I'd love to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair"
exchange: "I haven't left the house without lycra on these thighs since I was 14 years old" "Well your momma raised you right!"
"They're my family and I luv 'em but don't they just look like they are carved outta cream cheese?"
to quote a few....

[nystateomind04]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 4:33pm

this isnt really my favorite, i have too many to choose...
but i just finished lsoh and i love when audry says:
"i'd put on cheap and tastless outfits, not nice ones like this."
it always got a big laugh

[Ruffian]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 4:42pm

Could pick ANYTHING from Act One of "TABOO", will start with "...and speaking of creepy" which I used three times before 2 pm & cracked myself up

[JoizeyActor]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 4:58pm

"Tough titty." - LSOH

[Broadway724]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 5:32pm

Well all can't come and go by bubble
and that little dog...dodo Updated On: 4/26/04 at 05:32 PM

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 5:34pm

Still the same:

"I need your shoe to have a child!"

Into the Woods

[Ballet3689]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 6:09pm

"I need your shoe to have a child" is one of my all-time favorite lines and I crack up whenever I hear it.

Everything in "Urinetown" cracked me up...

"Think of BROADWAY, DAMMIT!!!" from 42nd Street

"I'm gonna jump!"
"Don't do it!"
"Okay!"
From Avenue Q

And there was a line in Never Gonna Dance that cracked me up. When the bum put all of Lucky's money into a Broadway show as a sure way to lose his money. Haha.

A billion more.. some stuff in Wonderful Town cracks me up. Mostly the black cop singing in "Darlin' Eileen."

[MargoChanning]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 7:20pm

Well, the entirety of Lady Bracknell's interview with Jack from "The Importance of Being Earnest" is to me the funniest scene ever written (especially as played in the classic film version from 1952 with Dame Edith Evans as Bracknell and Sir Michael Redgrave as Jack):

Lady Bracknell: Are your parents living?
Jack Worthing: I have lost both my parents.
Lady Bracknell: To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

-----------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Bracknell: Do you smoke?
Jack (né Ernest) Worthing: Well yes, I must admit I smoke.
Lady Bracknell: I'm glad to hear it. A man should have an occupation of some kind.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Bracknell: Ignorance is like a delicate exotic fruit; touch it and the bloom is gone. The whole theory of modern education is radically unsound. Fortunately, in England at any rate, education produces no effect whatsoever.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Bracknell: Thirty-five is an attractive age. London is full of women of the highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Lady Bracknell: To speak frankly, I am not in favour of long engagements. They give people an opportunity of finding out each other's characters before marriage. Which I think is never advisable.

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 7:21pm

NORMA CASSIDY: Pooky......It's no big deal. This happens to everyone. Men, I mean. We're lucky. Women, I mean. We can fake it if we have to. Oh, but I never have with you.... Oh, with you it's like pow, pow, pow, pow! Like the Fourth of July! Everytime Pooky. And if there's one thing I know for sure you can't let it get you, you should excuse the expression 'down'. You can't worry about it. You gotta put it outa your mind. The more you think about it, the more you worry. The more you worry, the more you think about it....yuck cherry. Think worry, worry think. It becomes, like this vicious cycle. And before you know it, you are impotent!

Pooky....whata you doin' with the soap?

~ VICTOR/VICTORIA
h,

[lvpblues]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 7:52pm

"It's about this whale..." - Ruth Sherwood, Wonderful Town

"My God, that moon is bright!"
"Somebody's been sleeping in my dress."
"I was never in the chorus"
"I'll have you know that once in Pittsburgh I played Mother Cabrini. During LENT!!" - Vera Charles, Mame

"Frid! We cannot be caught squatting on the ground like Bohemians!" - Mme. Armfeldt, A Little Night Music

"Who're you gonna tell...?"
"I was only trying to be a good mother..." - Witch, Into the Woods

And there are so many more I just can't think of right now...

~Kevin

[Kavana]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 8:53pm

this is a cut line from Dreamgirls but i lol every time i hear is

set up: Michelle is flirting with the men in the audience and Denna has a problem with it so she tells Curtis

Denna - You have got to do sumthing about Michelle
Lorell - Shes frustrated honey she just needs a man

[StraightToHeaven]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 9:55pm

Little Sally: Is she going to fall in love with him?
Officer Lockstock: She has to! He's the hero!
-Urinetown

Nessarose: I can't harbor a fugitive. I'm an unelected official.

Fiyero: I've been thinking
Elphaba: I heard!

-Wicked

don't know why i find those funny but I do.

[MyNameInLights]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 10:13pm

This is probably my favorite of all time, from "A Little Priest" from Sweeney Todd:

Mrs. Lovett: Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about rear admiral?
Sweeney: Too salty. I prefer general.
Mrs. Lovett: With or without his privates? With is extra.

Come to think of it, that entire song is perfectly hilarious!

[Corine2]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 10:16pm

Bush is only for now! and
Maggot drop and give me 69.
1. Avenue Q
2. Embedded
Mamma i'm a big shill now, such a big big shill.
Updated On: 5/1/04 at 10:16 PM

[The8re phan]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 10:29pm

"Ooh, my friend isn't an artist. He's an republican.......and an investment banker!"

"Rhell, You dell him to daye in closet then...... de good fa nutting."

[nystateomind04]

Posted: 4/26/04 at 11:11pm

"well then, why dont you go run and get it, oh wicked witch of the west?"
"if your intention was to shoot an arrow through my heart... bull's-eye!"
haha, those and every other line in the producers

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 4/27/04 at 8:53am

Love that redhotinnyc2 has quoted Steel Magnolias. Love that play.

~Gypsy~
"One more dis-a-spereging remark about my ballet, and you will find this bugle right up your..."
"Please! There is a lady present."
"Where??" (looks around all confused)

"Woman to woman. How old are you?"
"Nine"
"Nine what!?"
"Nine going on ten."
"How long has that been going on?"

~Wicked~
"It's good to see me, isn't it."

WW: "Well, there's no place like home."

"Who takes a dead woman's shoes!?"

"Bright! Why she's phosphorescent." <---probably wrong spelling.

[Theatreboy33]

Posted: 4/27/04 at 9:10am

"THAT'S the time where you've got to get up on your two feet and shout: WHO DO YOU HAVE TO F*** TO GET A BREAK IN THIS TOWN?!!!!"--The Producers

[Chrysanthemum62001]

Posted: 4/27/04 at 2:47pm

"I never read Tom Sawyer. Was he sexy?"
"He was twelve!"
Well, if you got it-you got it!"-From Millie
and
"All right! There is no need to say it. I know it by heart already. So no lectures, please about sailors. They are just lonesome, patriotic German boys. I HAVE A DUTY!-From Cabaret

[redhotinnyc2]

Posted: 4/27/04 at 3:00pm

ok - I can't remember the exact quote - but in Mame there is a line when Mame is talking to Mr. Babcock and the exchange goes something like this:
Mame: "Isn't that right Mr. Babbitt?
Babcock: "Cock! BabCOCK!"
Mame: "YES."

[leomaxfrank]

Posted: 4/27/04 at 3:07pm

chrysanthemum: NICE with the Millie line! I actually just watched it last night..i get such a kick out of that line! Marc kudisch speaking in his "mix" hilarious

[absolutely fabulous]

Posted: 4/27/04 at 5:33pm

"Suck don't blow." -- Mamma Mia
I think it was the whole scene that just made it hilarious.

[MargoChanning]

Posted: 4/27/04 at 5:40pm

Best exchange from "Auntie Mame":

Patrick (referring to a passed out Vera): Is the English lady sick Auntie Mame?
Mame: Oh, she's not English, she's from Pittsburgh.
Patrick: But, she sounds English.
Mame: Well, when you're from Pittsburgh, you have to do something.

[TheaterBaby]

Posted: 4/27/04 at 6:01pm

LOL We really need a good revival of Mame on Broadway. (With Christine Baranski in there someplace). I just picture her being a wonderful attribute to that story for some reason.