How Do You Define - FRIEND?
How Do You Define - FRIEND?
JustAGuy
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/03
#1How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 11:58am
Yesterday, a poster on this board insisted that I was his friend. Even though we've never met, have totally divergent views on everything from Universal Health Care to the War in Iraq to the White House's use of Executive Privilege, and who uses gay baiting, his homophobia and bigotry as a means to illicit a response. The homophobia and bigotry alone would and has eliminated any chance that we could possible be friends, or for that matter even friendly.
I've tried to define what I feel a friend is, and I haven't been able to come up with a definitive example or explanation. I can certainly tell you what a friend isn't, but for the life of me I can't do the opposite. Can you?
"Just a Guy. Your feelings are touching. I am gladdened by the thought that you will one day wind up 6 feet under as we all do." - MrRoxy ------
"I do not suggest you walk out the door onto a New York street with your vulnerable child part exposed and not protected..." - Jason Bennett
#2re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:01pmSomeone who you can get along with and trust, and who can trust you. Someone who understands you (and who you understand).
"I'm sort of like a child genius without being a child or a genius."~Tim Rice-Oxley
#2re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:06pm
A person whom you feel completely at ease with. You can trust them with anything and know that no matter what they will be around when you need them. The same can be said of you for them.
To me that is friendship.
"All the while making faces like a baby platypus who forget to take some Beano before eating a chimichanga." FindingNamo in reference to Jessica Simpson's singing.
#3re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:16pm
FRIEND:
Someone who knows all about you but likes you anyway.
"Winning a Tony this year is like winning Best Attendance in third grade: no one will care but the winner and their mom."
-Kad
"I have also met him in person, and I find him to be quite funny actually. Arrogant and often misinformed, but still funny."
-bjh2114 (on Michael Riedel)
-Kad
"I have also met him in person, and I find him to be quite funny actually. Arrogant and often misinformed, but still funny."
-bjh2114 (on Michael Riedel)
#4re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:18pm
A person whom you feel completely at ease with.
I need to be able to tell them ANYTHING. And hope they would be able to tell me ANYTHING. I'm pretty big on trust.
I have friends who have political or extreme religious views that I don't agree with. At the end of the day we simply agree to disagree.
I have NEVER met Cheyenne Jackson. I have never hung out with him in his dressing room, he did not tweet me, he never bought me a beverage, and he mostly certainly didn't tickle me. . .that is all.
Cruel_Sandwich
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/30/05
#5re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:18pm
"A friend's a friend who knows what being a friend is..."
-
Ween
#6re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:20pm
Merriam-Webster says the following:
Main Entry: 1friend
Pronunciation: 'frend
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English frend, from Old English frEond; akin to Old High German friunt friend, Old English frEon to love, frEo free
1 a : one attached to another by affection or esteem b : ACQUAINTANCE
2 a : one that is not hostile b : one that is of the same nation, party, or group
3 : one that favors or promotes something (as a charity)
4 : a favored companion
5 capitalized : a member of a Christian sect that stresses Inner Light, rejects sacraments and an ordained ministry, and opposes war -- called also Quaker
"Jaws is the Citizen Kane of movies."
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22
blocked: logan2, Diamonds3, Hamilton22
#7re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:25pm
As I posted in "that thread". Friendships are mutual. Not one sided as that person seems to think they are.
Someone you can agree and disagree with
Someone you trust and who trusts you
Someone who doesn't let a disagreement break up a friendship
Someone you love but are not "in love" with
And finally...someone who's underwear you would wash when they can't do it themselves because of a back problem! (Yup! I did it for one of my best friends!)
Just give the world Love. - S. Wonder
#8re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:27pmsomeone that you are comfortable being vulnerable with
It is ridiculous to set a detective story in New York City. New York City is itself a detective story...
AGATHA CHRISTIE, Life magazine, May 14, 1956
#9re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:30pm
How to tell if you're friends with someone: find them on Facebook/MySpace/LiveJournal, add them to your contacts list. Wait. If they add you back, you're friends! 
Honestly, I think friendship is a lot like love. Very difficult to define, but when you've found it, you know.
#10re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:30pm
In the words of Jason Robert Brown:
"A friend's not a cheap little phony creep
Or a jerk trying to make a deal.
A friend is a person who most of all
Cares about what you feel...
A friend sends notes back and forth all day
And doesn't care that you can't spell,
A friend knows you've got a crush on your teacher,
But a friend would never tell,
a friend's outside waiting
The minute you both hear the bell..."
Hi, Shirley Temple Pudding.
#11re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 12:51pmNot that I agree with it...but one of my HS English teachers defined friend as "two people who mutally agree to use each other."
#12re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 4:51pm
However you describe it the one thing that is true is that it requires work. For a real friendship at least.
There are always fair-weather friends of course, but I don't think we are discussing that.
There is a quote (and it escapes me said it) that likens freindship to a garden in that it always need attention lest it wilt and die.
....but the world goes 'round
#13re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/15/07 at 5:07pmAs my grandmother was wont to say: "True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not."
Salve, Regina, Mater misericordiae
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia
Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra
Salve, Salve Regina
Ad te clamamus exsules filii Eva
Ad te suspiramus, gementes et flentes
O clemens O pia
#14re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 12:46am
like this: 
and this: 
and this: 
people i love and have changed my life for the better <3
Less is more
Ugly is beautiful
"My brother plays a drag queen... and I'm surprised he looks as good as he does in drag." - Adam Rapp
"thanks, abba. now i'll forever have an image of you as a tattoed hardcore straightedge grrl savaging people in the mosh pit." - papalovesmambo
"Yeah Abba. All the filthy crap you spew out there on those boards. I for one, am equally shocked. :-P" - AnnaK
Ugly is beautiful
"My brother plays a drag queen... and I'm surprised he looks as good as he does in drag." - Adam Rapp
"thanks, abba. now i'll forever have an image of you as a tattoed hardcore straightedge grrl savaging people in the mosh pit." - papalovesmambo
"Yeah Abba. All the filthy crap you spew out there on those boards. I for one, am equally shocked. :-P" - AnnaK
#15re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 1:17am
Since last October I have been rebuilding my life from the ground up. The initial work had to be done by me and only me, so I "cocooned" for quite a while. Lately, I've been breaking out of that cocoon and it has been friends who have helped me the most along the way. I can't help you define it, but I'd like to reiterate some truths that have been posted here already.
"Someone who you can get along with and trust, and who can trust you. Someone who understands you (and who you understand)."
"The same can be said of you for them."
"Someone who knows all about you but likes you anyway."
"At the end of the day we simply agree to disagree."
"one attached to another by affection or esteem"
"Someone you love but are not "in love" with " (I agree with the original statement, but I disagree with the words used to describe it based on my own situation. If anyone cares I'll be happy to elucidate.)
"someone that you are comfortable being vulnerable with"
"Honestly, I think friendship is a lot like love."
"However you describe it the one thing that is true is that it requires work."
"True friendship isn't about being there when it's convenient; it's about being there when it's not."
In my life as I have lived my life, these are the truths that I have found, already espoused by these wonderful posters.
And no one grew into anything new, we just became the worst of what we were."
retroG
Chorus Member Joined: 7/4/07
#17re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 3:01am
I've discovered that true friends can not hear from each other for a long time, and yet you would still be there for them if they need you; and when you do see each other, it's like no time has passed at all.
Someone you can have the worst argument with, and yet be able to come back from that to a friendship that is even stronger.
Celebrate Life
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch
#18re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 3:12amSomeone who caters to me hand and foot, spoils me and generally kisses my ass 24/7. Oh, and worships the ground I walk on.
#19re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 9:49am
"Friend" is one of those words like "kleenex": it's been used and abused to the point that it's almost meaningless.
For myself, I have acquaintances and I have friends and then I have people who are beyond both categories, people I trust almost implicitely. Note: almost. That level of trust takes years to obtain.
http://docandraider.com
#20re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 3:25pm
Just a guy-First of all, I think a prerequisite for a friend is that you have met this person! LOL!
Seriously, a TRUE friend will ALWAYS be your friend, through thick and thin. You never have to worry about them being there or not.
In life, we're lucky if we have a few truly real friends. I still have mine and it's a great feeling.
And a true friend will always forgive your transgressions!
<-----I'M TOTES ROLLING MY EYES
Updated On: 7/16/07 at 03:25 PM
JustAGuy
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/20/03
#21re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 3:30pm
"Just a guy-First of all, I think a prerequisite for a friend is that you have met this person! LOL!"
Yeah, I thought that might be high up on the list of musts. Since the chances of that happening are nil, I guess I needn't worry about it.
P.S. - Thanks to all who have answered my query. From what I've gleaned from your responses, my initial reaction was correct. This person would never qualify as a friend.
"Just a Guy. Your feelings are touching. I am gladdened by the thought that you will one day wind up 6 feet under as we all do." - MrRoxy ------
"I do not suggest you walk out the door onto a New York street with your vulnerable child part exposed and not protected..." - Jason Bennett
Updated On: 7/16/07 at 03:30 PM
#22re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 4:03pm
I think there are different levels of friendship.
To me, a true friend accepts you for who you are. They care as much about your feelings as they do their own. And, they give as much as they take.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be enbered with your old nonsense. ~ Emerson
vmlinnie
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/19/06
#23re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 4:06pm
There are people here who, although I've never met them, have often given me help and support when those I would otherwise consider closest to me couldn't.
I would certainly like to think that I have friends here.
The rain we knew is a thing of the past -
deep-delving, dark, deliberate you would say
browsing on spire and bogland; but today
our sky-blue slates are steaming in the sun,
our yachts tinkling and dancing in the bay
like racehorses. We contemplate at last
shining windows, a future forbidden to no one.
Derek Mahon
"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets."
Arthur Miller
deep-delving, dark, deliberate you would say
browsing on spire and bogland; but today
our sky-blue slates are steaming in the sun,
our yachts tinkling and dancing in the bay
like racehorses. We contemplate at last
shining windows, a future forbidden to no one.
Derek Mahon
"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets."
Arthur Miller
#24re: How Do You Define - FRIEND?
Posted: 7/16/07 at 4:56pm
singingwendy- How beautifully Ayn Rand.
=)
One of those stupid things you see everywhere, but I think is funny - > A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!"
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