Posted: 2/2/19 at 12:34am
Nowhere_Dan said: "NightMusic3 said: "I love a lot of the changes. One line I'd quibble with though:
Original:
Today is for Amy
Amy, I give you the rest of my life
To cherish and to keep you
To honor you forever
Today is for Amy
My, happily, soon-to-be wife
Updated:
Today is for Jamie
Jamie, I give you the rest of mydays
To cherish and to keep you
To honor you forever
Today is for Jamie
My lover, my partner, mylife
Sondheim didn't maintain the rhyme between those two lines. It's odd given how fastidious he is in regards to maintaining rhyme schemes."
This is very interesting indeed. I’d argue that there isn’t another usable rhyme for the word “life” that suits the context since “wife” is not available due to the gender change. So, my guess is that Mr. Sondheim didn’t want to use the word “life” twice since a word doesn’t rhyme with itself so he went with a completely different sounding word (“days" )so it’s made absolutely clear thatthere’s no attempt at a rhyme there. My 2 cents.
"
Sondheim is more confident when it comes to leaving lines unrhymed these days. Notice that no of the other lines in the two stanzas. I could come up with several rhymed couplets off the top of my head and I'm sure Sondheim can come up with even more.
("Amy, I give you my will and my ways.../Through all of my future days."
"Amy, I give you my hope and my strife.../For better and worse, my life."![]()
I'm not saying these are brilliant subs, just that I can think of them as fast as I can type.
I think it's more likely that whatever reason Sondheim decided not to rhyme Paul's other lines is probably also the reason he didn't rhyme the fine lines.
