My parents dont want me to have a career in theatre

[i love idina]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:39am

Hey,
I'm really involved with theatre at my school, and I have played lead roles throughout my highschool career. I study voice privately weekly and i have dreams of being on broadway. As college approaches the more that I mention majoring in musical theatre, the more my parents become dissapointed in me. They say that it doesn't matter how good I am because to many people have the same dream. I have even mentioned double majoring in business and in musical theatre but whenever I mention a career in theatre they freak. many of my teachers told me that I have what it takes but how can I convince my parents, they are the ones who are paying for college so I do need there approval.

[WickedGeek28]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:43am

Your parents are just looking out for you, they don't want you to get crushed. Even though it may seem like they're trying to "ruin your life," they're just trying to help.

I'm a big believer in follow your heart, but in the real world it's not always possible. I'd say go to college and major in what you want to major in, and then have a minor and a degree in something that you can fall back on if your acting career doesn't work out.

About their approval, I would just talk to them. Or arrange it so that theatre is your minor.

[Wanna Be A Foster]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:46am

And good luck finding a 4-year program where you can receive dual degrees in musical theatre and business.

[philcrosby]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:47am

I bet your parents really love you a lot and are 1) wanting to make sure their child will be able to have a successful career and 2) they don't want to feel like the money they will spend on college will "go to waste."

My advice is twofold: first, make sure they know you are absolutely committed to making this dream come true. They are right, the competition is fierce, and talent alone will not guarantee you anything. Second, apply to some really tough-to-get-into colleges with musical theatre programs. (In addition to applying to those with great liberal arts programs.) If you get accepted into a terrific program, you already have someone else confirming your belief that you can make it.

I would like to recommend my alma mater, Northwestern University. It has one of the best theatre (musical and non-) programs in the country and is also a top-ranked liberal arts school. I had lots of fellow freshmen leave the theatre program but stay in the school once they discovered the level of competition they were facing.

Believe in your dream, work harder than you've ever worked in your life, and good luck!!!

[popular_elphie]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:48am

My mom's the same way - I'm thinking about majoring in theatre management, and she just won't have it.

I understand where she's coming from. A degree in something else will give you something to fall back on - you may be amazing, but there's still a chance that you won't make it.

Talk to them about the double majoring idea, or as WickedGeek28 said, make theatre your minor. I believe that I'm going to get a degree in business but have a Theatre Arts minor.

[bwayondabrain]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:52am

as WickedGeek said above, your parents are just looking out for you. I went to an acting camp in NYC last summer, and our teacher told us it was about 88% or higher of all actors are not working now. its a really hard business, and there are so many talented people who never find jobs.
so maybe just do acting on the side of a larger job, and see if you get anywhere. if you dont, at least you'll still have work.
good luck!
:)

[WickedGeek28]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:53am

And good luck finding a 4-year program where you can receive dual degrees in musical theatre and business.

It would be tough, but it's possible. There are so many GREAT majors that go with a minor in theatre, Education, English, Music etc.

You can tell your parents that if it doesn't work, you can be a drama teacher, it's a steady job and you get to perform. The musical director at my school is Stephen Altinel, who performed in Candide with Patti and Kristin and toured with Andrea Boccelli (spl) and what he can bring to a classroom is awesome.

[bwayondabrain]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:57am

yeah, like my drama teacher was in the ensemble of MISS SAIGON on Broadway, and is always going up to NYC and meeting Broadway people...
itd be fun to be a drama teacher- then you can direct plays and musicals and all!

[Michael Bennett]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:59am

For what it's worth, most of my friends who have been on Broadway were not theatre majors. Most of my friends who paid 80G for their education as theatre majors, are working day jobs.

Theatre is not something you have to have a degree in to have a career in. Which is not to discredit those who study hard at their craft, but you can also take acting, singing, and dance lessons on the side, even as you major in something else.

And if you have to have a day job to support your art, why not actually be able to have a job that actually gives you a little financial comfort at the same time? Waiting tables is over rated.

Why not agree to major in something else, but see if as a concession your parents would be willing to pay for private lessons on the side?

[best12bars]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 9:59am

I faced the same problem 20 years ago. I went into college as a Business Major, but I was on a double music scholarship (voice and viola), so my interests as well as some of my scholarship requirements had me taking many music classes, private lessons, etc. It was a confusing time for me. I ultimately switched my major 4 times while I was in school, and ended up a Theatre/Voice major. By that point I had my Equity card and was working in professional theatre anyway, so I just quit and moved to New York.

I loved my college days, and am grateful for the experience... but mostly because of the training and education I received in theatre and music. I look back now and realize I should have asked myself, "why are you going to college in the first place?" I might have handled things differently, who knows?

Today, I'm successful at something I didn't study at all in college (mainly because the media of DVD didn't exist back then).

EDIT: I will add this in... I always had the love and support of my parents, regardless. They were both in the theatre, so it wasn't like they were fighting me on that. I was the one trying to be practical about life, and they understood that as well. I think it's hard enough to figure it out, without having your parents forcing (or at least strongly encouraging) you to make these decisions to their liking.

Updated On: 4/14/06 at 09:59 AM

[elphieisperky]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 10:18am

My parents are like that. They still roll their eyes when I mention my dreams of being on Broadway. But they just don't want you to be upset, and to take the pain of rejection, even though you think it might not effect you. And like WickedGeek said, it may seem like they're ruining your life, but it's really their way of looking out for you. Good luck in the future!

[MisterRussell]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 10:55am

Welcome to the club. I'm 43, and a lifelong actor/director/playwright. I've won 4 awards for my acting, both in plays and musicals. I've written two books, five full-length musicals and have had my work produced to rave reviews.

I'm also a HUGE disappointment to my parents and siblings.

But I wouldn't change a thing. When I die, I'll know I followed my dreams. I may never be a star or even moderately successful on the scale most people consider success. But I followed my dreams. And THAT I can take with me to my grave.

It's not just my signature, it's my credo.

Updated On: 4/14/06 at 10:55 AM

[Enjolras77]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 11:13am

I faced a similar dilemma right before going off to college. My parents always supported me and my theatrical desires, however, they also wanted me to think practically. My parents suggested: 1) Majoring in something I could fall back on and minoring in theatre, or 2) Majoring in something like theatre education so that I could still take all the theatre classes I want but still be certified to teach if performing didn't work out. I ended up taking their advice and majoring in music education and minoring in theatre. I was able to get a job as a music/theatre arts teacher right out of college and was still able to perform in shows at night or in the summers. I also was able to start saving money just in case I ever decided to move to NYC to try and work professionally.

The good thing about the entertainment industry is that it is one field you don't necessarily have to have a collge degree to get a job. No casting director is going to say, "hmmm...this person has so much more talent and is perfect for the part-- but they don't have a degree in acting so I can't cast them". Yes, having that degree helps because of all the training you will receive, but you could still get training through a private teacher. A lot of Broadway stars were theatre majors in college, but there are also a large number who weren't. My advice is to do whatever is best for you, but don't give up on your dream. Just because you may not major in it in college doesn't mean that you still can't make it your career.

[Runner1B]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 12:45pm

Hofstra University, Hempstead, L.I., N.Y. has an excellent theatre program as well as an excellent business school. You really couldn't go wrong enrolling there. Plus, its very close to Manhattan!

[Bruce Memblagh!]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 1:11pm

A tough one but not at all uncommon. Being successful in high school drama productions, where everyone there probably loves whatever goes on on stage, and regardless of how excellent you may be in the acting and singing stakes, is worlds apart from professional theater where there will be many hundreds of similar or significantly better talent. It is great to have high hopes and get carried away by the excitement/success of high school productions but the reality is totally different.

Certainly follow your dream but have both feet on the ground every step of the way. Even if you get to study acting at college, that hardly opens up that many doors to you once you've trained, and the competition is more fierce than anything you can imagine. You have more chance, for example, of doing the Wicked lottery every day for a month AND winning on EACH occasion than making a good, consistent living from professional acting!! Sadly that's about the reality of it.

Your parents are, quite rightly, being realistic about the chances of firstly you getting anything professional to act in (even as one-offs), and secondly the very slim chance of making a career out of it (one where you can enjoy the acting AND earn enough to enjoy life generally), let alone a known career. This all might sound negative but I have seen so many actors and actresses over the years who have struggled to make ends meet. Not because they were not talented, but because there was always someone better out there going for each role. But, then I know a few who have made it ie) on Broadway, the West End, in films etc etc etc, although they really are the minority.


Re: your teachers saying you can make it, well yes they probably see you have talent that could be nurtured but I would not read more into it ie) it is not them guaranteeing you are going to ultimately "make it" with your acting skills. Updated On: 4/14/06 at 01:11 PM

[PB ENT.]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 1:20pm

Re-read Best12Bars & Michael Bennett's posts. There's a lot of reality there.

Also, click on any of the Broadway "stars" I've interviewed for BWW. 99% of them agree to focus on a major that will land you a solid day job while pursueing a theatrical career. You'll never regret the backup plan.

PB Ent./ Pati b
BWW "Philly"

[broadwaybelter]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 1:26pm

yea my parents are supportive of my dreams of becoming a performer, though they always suggest I have a back up and I fully intend to do so. I always have this thought in my mind: I am a very talented singer/actor, but there will always be 10 people behind me that could do it 10 times better

[InfiniteTheaterFrenzy]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 1:37pm

I think it's great to want to have a career in theatre, but this doesn't necessarily mean that MAJORING in theatre is right for you.

In my opinion, people who major in theatre should do so because they want to STUDY the art form, the techniques, the history, etc. There is no saying that majoring in ANYTHING will get you a career in that area.. After college, you are marketing yourself on your skills and abilities, not a degree with a few words on it that nobody pays attention to. If you think that theatre is what you want to STUDY, and that you are the kind of person that will benefit from learning about the art form, by all means, go for it.

Also, every college theatre program is SO different in terms of practicality, theories, topics of study, attitudes toward material, attitudes toward the job market... not to mention how hands- on some programs are, how academic others are, the different kinds of connections you can make at different schools, the locations of schools and how this affects you as a theatre student. Lots of schools have "excellent" theatre programs, but they are excellent in different ways,so you should really do some soul- searching to figure our EXACTLY what you want, and also do a LOT of research. Good luck

[JerseyGirl]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 1:43pm

FYI... JLY's parents wanted him to be a lawyer! (They don't anymore!!!) But, remember, he might be big now, but only a year ago, he was ushering to make ends meet, and he struggled for SEVEN years before he got cast in Jersey Boys. He deserves everything he gets - because NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING was handed to him on a silver platter like some legacy actors. John scraped by hand to mouth like most actors do, waiting, waiting, for a big break... it happens, but not to everyone.

[bluesoprano]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 1:48pm

As a college student I know exactly what you are going through. Although I am music major and theatre minor I am in the same boat as you are, except it is my family, not my parents who are giving me grief.

All I have to say is I would consider minoring in musical theatre and majoring in something else. As MichaelBennett said you don't need a theatre degree to be on broadway, look at Sutton Foster, she only did a year of college and now she is a huge broadway star. Although if you do get into a really competitive musical theatre program it will show your parents that some does think you have what it takes.

But what it comes down to is what is going to make you happy, but it is true to have something to fall back on just in case something happens. You can also teach theatre and teach students what you learned.

Whatever you decide to do remember to follow your heart. I understand your parents, but it is you who is going to have to live your life.

Good Luck!

[i love idina]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 1:51pm

Thanks so much! This is all really great adivce, i appreciate everyone whos taking the time to answer me!

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 1:53pm

"And good luck finding a 4-year program where you can receive dual degrees in musical theatre and business."

Try Pace University.

[Dancinqueen123]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 1:59pm

You could always do what my friend did and run away from home, but I wouldn't suggest that because now she's living with me!

Posted: 4/14/06 at 4:14pm

I imagine that if you're taking voice lessons, your parents are paying for them, so that's a somewhat good sign. If they ever cut you off from your lessons, get a job to pay for them. I think you should follow your heart, especially if you're being encouraged by your teachers. The idea for the business degree is great, because if you decide later on not to pursue acting, you can work on the business side of show business, which can be very interesting and rewarding. Marketing & Advertising are very interesting and creative. I'm a strong believer that if something is meant to be, it'll happen. I wanted to be an actress from the time I was 13, but I was discouraged (even though my parents were musicians) and went on to do other things. At the age of 37, on a whim, I decided to start taking acting and singing classes. 3 years after I started lessons, I had headshots taken and started marketing myself. Although I'm very far from being a star, I've done many plays and have been on TV and in cabaret acts, and I am in the 3 unions.

[Dre2387]

Posted: 4/14/06 at 4:47pm

well, I want to do stage managment. My parents are fine with it, but my mom promised me that if I wanted help with loans for graduate school for any sort of masters in theatre, I would have to get a bachelors in something that I would be able to fall back on. So, I'm majoring in English and looking into a minor in theatre.

There are plenty of school where you can double major in theatre and something else. One exmaple is my school, Dickinson College in PA.