>How could I think it wouldn't run?
>First, I figured that the Puccini Estate would take legal >action regarding the music--which is a total rip-off from the >Italian Maestro.
>Second, the script never tells the audience how the Phantom >got to be so scarred and deformed. (Luckily I'd read the >original novel in my French classes!)
He was born that way... some of us didn't need that spelled out. (Or dumbed down as two of the movies did.)
>Third, the staging is ludicrous. Where does the Phantom's >bedroom begin and the underground lake leave off? Perhaps his >bed merely floats in at high tide!
I remember Harlan Ellison mentioning that "Lethal Weapon" was spoiled for him when he realized that Mel Gibson runs about two miles and catches Gary Busey's car. (Harlan knew how far apart the two areas were... in "movie reality" we were suppose to realize that Mel ran about a hundred yards tops.) This is the same argument.
>Fourth. Does the Phantom light all those floating candles >every night, or does he just do that on special occasions?
I would imagine special occasions, like when he's going to have guests.
>Fifth. When was the last time you saw any object--let alone a >chandelier--fall at a 90 degree angle?
Well, if they dropped it on the audience every night, it would kill repeat business. Besides, the real chandelier had five chains... in play logic the Phantom could have arranged for four to give way allowing the chandelier to swing on the fifth.
>Sixth. I saw Sarah Brighman as Christine. She looked like a >raccoon and sang through her sinuses. Now two men were willing >to kill for her? Give me a break!
(Setting myself up for a bitch-slap here!) And someone is supposed to become so enamored of Carol Channing that he wants to marry her at the end of Hello Dolly?
>Seventh. I saw Michael Crawford play the Phantom. He had all >the grace of a wounded hippo and was phoning in his >performance.
I've also seen Michael perform. You're wrong. Michael is the only one who could move backwards down a set piece, in a full cape while firing fireballs! Every other actor has had it changed because they can't do it without falling. Furthermore, I watch Michael's Phantom compeletly lose it after the mask is gone, all the grace and beauty was in that persona and without it he does in fact stagger around the stage! As far as "phoning it in" I've never seen him do that! Maybe you caught a bad day or maybe you're wrong again.
>Eighth. Why doesn't the script explain why people have to >cover their eyes when they are walking down to the Phantom's >lair?
Proof that you weren't paying attention. Nobody has to "cover their eyes," they have to "hold their hands at the level of their eyes," in order to thwart the Punjab noose. That's actually from the Lon Chaney movie and even there Raol (sp) was a jerk and had to keep being reminded.
>Ninth. Those lyrics were typical of the rhymes I get from my >ninth grade students.
(Bitch-slap number two coming up.) I like the lyrics. They certainly weren't any worse than the lyrics to "I Put My Hand In."
>Tenth. It was over amplified, but Broadway audiences seem to >like having their hearing impaired.
Given, but this is hardly Phantom's fault.
"Now and then life hits you on the back of the head with a sock full of wet porridge. How you handle that is up to you." - Tim Rice
Updated On: 8/14/03 at 01:11 PM
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