The thing is, when you bought the ticket, you and the theatre had an agreement that you wouldn't do that, because that is one of the conditions of you being at the show.
If you've ever seen Judge Judy, you will know that this is a bit like a contract, which is an agreement between two people; you and the theatre manager.
You broke that agreement, which is dishonest, not the right thing to do, and not a very nice thing to do.
Even if you think the rule is silly, which you're allowed to, it doesn't matter. That's what you agreed, and when you agree something you should always stick to it.
If other people let you down in this way all the time, it wouldn't be very nice, for you.
So hopefully it's a lesson learned.
Why don't you go? Why don't you leave Manderley? He doesn't need you... he's got his memories. He doesn't love you, he wants to be alone again with her. You've nothing to stay for. You've nothing to live for really, have you?