And a special note to Michael Cohl to go with my above message:
All of the above goes for you as well. Bono convinced you to come in as a personal favor, and you did. But do not presume to speak about the New York drama critics circle in the manner you have chosen, just because you bought a turkey and are regretting it. I'm going to dissect your statement to Entertainment Weekly and show you where you're wrong.
"Any of the people who review the show and say that it has no redeeming value are just not legitmate reviewers, period."
Well, I'd say they kept their jobs pretty nicely all these years for people who aren't legitimate reviewers. A critic's job is to offer their opinion of a piece of entertainment. Some of the public considers their points, especially with an obvious flop, but occasionally the trend is bucked (see
Wicked's reviews versus box office gross). I've seen your show. I paid good money to see it, money that is likely now in your pocket, and as someone who paid for the right to my opinion, it has no redeeming value. This many critics and attendees can't agree on that point if there's not something wrong with it.
"It's hard to have people that don't get pop culture reviewing a pop culture event, isn't it?"
It's not their job to "get pop culture," which is leaving aside the fact that if many of them didn't, they've clearly been exposed to it by now, judging by how many musicals these days are based on material from television and films. It's their job to review the show on its merits as a dramatic musical work, and in this case, as in many cases, it has absolutely zero merits. Many connoisseurs of "pop culture" have agreed that your "pop culture event" is a pile of trash. What are you going to say to that? That they don't get pop culture either?
And finally, your press rep's intriguing cap-filled comment had me laughing. "The PILE-ON by the critics was ridiculous and uncalled for. Their actions are unprecedented and UNCOOL!"
First, an aesthetic point: Are they teenagers? "Uncool"? Really? The last time I myself used the word "uncool" was in the seventh grade, and even if one were to use it in private or as common slang, one does not make such a word part of any press release. It's unprofessional. Secondly: "ridiculous and uncalled for" is pushing back your opening date four times, presumably to avoid the acid pens of those "not legitimate reviewers" under the guise of working during the preview period.
"Unprecedented," you say? Other little shows tried that trick, and they were met with a similar "PILE-ON," as your caps lock addicted press rep called it. The reason you (and to be honest, I) don't remember their names is because they're mainly found in a little book by Ken Mandelbaum called
Not Since CARRIE. You know what that means, Mr. Cohl? It means that much like your show, they were unmitigated flops.
My suggestion to you -- and the other producers and investors -- is to close this show. Now. My special suggestion just for you, Mr. Live Nation concert promoter, is to go sit in your f
ucking corner and read the instruction book before you ever dare approach a Broadway stage again and try to play the game without learning its rules. Good day to you, sir.
"There is no problem so big that it cannot be run away from."
~ Charles M. Schulz
