The gay connection to theater? — Page 2

I really agree with all you guys. I think it's just a giant stereotype. Im bi and people say that i need to be gay to love theatre. Not true at all.

i really disagree with the notion that some have posted that gay men and women are more well-educated or more artistic or have more money to burn. That is retarded.

I think the fact is that the arts simply require a sensitivity that a lot of straight men (and some women I suppose) are either not in touch with or are afraid or uncomfortable to share openly. Straight men are told very early that showing feelings is a sign of weakness... don't cry. what are you a girl? I think this has reinforced in straight men the idea that something theatrical, something that moves your heart is for girls... or sissies. I don't think that the issue is as much what draws gay men to theater as what drives straight men away. Theater, musicals, art... all of it belongs to everyone. Just some people are more comfortable accepting it into their lives.

Well put, Snarky.


May I also add: that theater folk seem to be more accepting of gay lifestyles....and therefore it becomes a safe place to be.

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snarky, i agree with what your saying. most straight men(that i know, anyway)are raised to be manly men. they're afraid to show feelings in fear of being called a sissy.

"I think this has reinforced in straight men the idea that something theatrical, something that moves your heart is for girls"

i think besides that, straight men stay away from theater because it's stereotyped as a gay thing, so some straights think, even if they want to either become a theatergoer or become a theater actor, they can't do it.

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Sorry, Gerb....you lost me at the end....if they WANT to, then they aren't going to care much about the stereotype past high school, or maybe college.

The AVERAGE theater goer doesn't even deal with anyone other than the people with which they attend the theater.

I think there are very few people in general that find new 'hobbies' in life. If you weren't exposed or turned on to theater it's not likely to be something that you try out later in life.

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I'm a gay man who does not (and never has) worked in the theatre but who is an avid theatregoer. Why? Because I need intellectual and emotional stimulation that I cannot find elsewhere; not in films, not in television, not in literature or other visual or aural arts.

I can sometimes find one or the other (usually the intellectual) in some of the other art forms but nothing that combines both. I also like the experiential shock of an philosophical challenge or the trauma of an unexpected and possibly irrational emotional response, and I've only ever experienced that in theatre.

Is that something that is exclusive to gay men and women? I don't know - you tell me.

Updated On: 6/28/09 at 11:43 AM

I'm 100% with SnarkyTheatreGoer on this one, and I see where Gerb is coming from.

I am not gay, but I am very much aware of the stereotypes. When I am just getting to know other guys or I'm with a girl I'm interested in I never, ever mention my gravitation toward the theatre. Unless you're hyper-masculine, which I'm not, which would make up for something like that, they are going to have undue assumptions. Let's face it, when women are looking for boyfriends they are looking for guys wearing baseball caps, not for guys absolutely excited to see Angela Lansbury from the front row. It's very jading to be in this position.

Taken from Wikipedia, Richard Gehman was Estelle Parsons' husband in the 1950s. This struck me when I read it:

In the 1960s Gehman was hired by TV Guide magazine, for which he wrote many articles with a similar approach: that creative people were emotionally insecure because of an unhappy childhood, and that those who became celebrities in the entertainment industry did so because this insecurity motivated them to succeed.[3]

I think this line of thinking is of course innately flawed - there are plenty of performers who have had wonderful childhoods. However, it is certainly interesting, and certainly has ramifications for gays, although, of course, plenty of gays have had wonderful childhoods as well.

For the record, I'd like to express my thanks to the television show "Frasier." I think it is the only example in popular culture of fictional men who are sophisticated and drawn to high art who are not homosexual. It doesn't bind to the heterosexual jock stereotypes. And of course, it is a lot of fun.

That said, one thing some guys on here might also relate to is my experience that being drawn to high art and the theatre and the like, and being simply left cold by sports, has really prevented me from fostering friendships with men, at least men who are not gay. I'd like more straight male friends, but really, when you take out the arts for me there's only so much to talk about. Likewise, without being able to discuss sports I am not much fun to hang out with.

I will say though, that I admire some people who really have a passion for sports. A brief acquaintance of mine from last year, a retired corrections officer (she got hurt in the line of duty), talked to me about her different wishes for certain players to be traded to different baseball teams - if only so and so would get traded here and there, etc., there'd be some interesting action that season. It's the only time anyone's enthusiasm for sports left a mark on me.

I think I might have enjoyed sports if my parents hadn't made them so thoroughly un-fun for me as I grew up. They were a punishment, a chance to either shine or fail my father. How much fun is that? Not much.

I have brought a couple of my buddies to the theatre and they loved it, too. My friend Levi loved "Blithe Spirit" and loved Phylicia in "AOC" so much that he was in tears by the end. In fact, the two of us became friends because not only are we essentially the only non-gay rabid Alanis Morissette fans that we know (and we know a lot - there's a long list of us in a big fan group), but we're the only in the group who don't accuse each other of being gay. Apparently, to some people, it's impossible for a guy to enjoy a mega-talented singer/songwriter without being gay. I just don't understand it.

I also brought my friend Nik just two weeks ago to see his first Broadway show, "Exit the King!" Fifth row center, baby. This is a guy who is generally pretty open-minded and very smart, but every time I bring up theatre he always echoes the straight-guy-afraid-of-gay-taste-association-phrase, "I"m not really into plays." I get so tired of hearing that because the root of where it comes from is so obvious. I always respond to it, "you like movies, don't you? Plays are like movies only it's LIVE!" However, he consented to see this show and he was ABSOLUTELY RIVETED! I am so glad he came with me.

I will say that, for myself, absolutely nothing is better than live theatre because it is so electric and present! The memories of what happen in the best of live theatre are so brilliant. I have absolutely been over-dosing on theatre in the past couple of years. I have seen so many wonderful actors in wonderful parts in wonderful productions, and at this present point I have begun to ABSOLUTELY SWOON. Yes, yes, my enthusiasm is often mistaken for insanity. Just a small list though,

Geoffrey Rush - Exit the King
Roger Robinson - Joe Turner's Come and Gone
Patti LuPone - Gypsy!
Angela Lansbury - Blithe Spirit
Frank Langella - A Man For All Seasons, Frost/Nixon
Estelle Parsons - August: Osage County
Phylicia Rashad - August: Osage County
Morgan Freeman - The Country Girl

Thinking of all these performances just absolutely thrills me. I have seen them already, but the memories will last. I am certainly not leaving the NYC area if I can help it. Marian Seldes said in a recent interview that she is never more excited - "excited all day" - when she has a ticket to a show, and that's always how I feel too.

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<< So the question is an intriguing one, but one to which there is, ultimately, no answer >>

Very well said, Pal !! There really isnt an answer--- just a bunch of stereotypes. (which can create nice discussions, but usually lead to trouble)

Wow, I am pleasantly surprised with the way this thread has gone. Yay for calm, mature, and intelligent threads on interesting subjects.

To add my own experience into the mix: I am a straight 26 year-old male who works professionally in both straight plays and musicals. But even though I am straight I am a bit feminine (by most people's standards) in terms of my personality, and of course, my lifestyle (in addition to being an actor, I also hate sports and love martinis). Since, from my observation/experience, about fifty percent of professional male actors who work primarily in the theatre are gay, and even the straight ones are usually not very manly (to use myself as an example), I do think that there is a definite connection not necessarily to homosexuality but to feminine personality traits. For whatever stupid reason, the arts in general are regarded as feminine in nature, and of course wanting to have sex with a man is generally regarded as a female quality (even though obviously homosexual men can be very masculine).

So yeah, I think the connection is actually very much rooted in gender traits (that is, a man having qualities similar to that of a woman). But then again there are lots of straight, fratboy-type guys out there who love to sing and dance and express themselves onstage, so like in all things, there are exceptions to the norm.

Bravo to CapnHook for a thoughtful and intelligent response!

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hmmmm.... you don't really want to start THAT argument. Could get ugly.

I am a straight male, and I think Rudy2 summed up most of my thoughts. And I too would be a very, very boring if I didn't do theatre.

Thanks defyingravity07 for the Red Vines and Popcorn. Very tasty. More please.

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