Worst Theatre Experience- Page 5

[viola13]

Posted: 9/22/09 at 7:48pm

Probably when I saw South Pacific and the people next to me were talking in Spanish, texting, and comparing ring tones throughout the entire first act. Seriously. Comparing ring tones.

[James885]

Posted: 9/22/09 at 10:52pm

When I saw Legally Blonde on tour there were two girls directly in front of me (I was in the balcony) who were texting non-stop throughout the first act. It was very annoying cause their cell phones would light up like every 30 seconds and you could hear the little tapping noises they were making.. Thankfully one of the ushers said something to them during intermission and they stopped.

When I saw The Little Mermaid, the family next to us had two kids who decided to sing along and talk loudly during the show. Their parents did nothing to silence them. I understand the whole introduce-your-children-to-theater thing, but if you're not gonna teach them how to behave properly during a show then what's the point?

I saw a regional production of Urinetown and the guy behind me I guess was trying to be a know it all because he kept a running commentary during the show.

Updated On: 9/23/09 at 10:52 PM

[proptart101]

Posted: 9/23/09 at 1:51am

umpteen zillion years ago I was attending a production of "Don Giovani", back when supertitles were still fairly new (long before the Met put those wonderful seat back screens in...)

After that glorious overture, the curtain rises, Leporello comes out and sings his "Notte e giorno faticar", the translation appears above the action and....

an elderly lady, sitting a few seats to my left and a row or two ahead leans into her husband and says, quite loudly in a craggy, cigarette destroyed LOUD voice (husband was hard of hearing it appears)

"IT SAYS: I'M WORKING NIGHT AND DAY"

The husband replies, (Full voice) "I know this opera, you don't have to do that."

She proceeds to read out loud every title as it comes up...

We left at the first interval.



Of course there was always the matinee of a King Lear done in a small, full thrust theater where a (different) elderly woman was sitting right in the front row, knitting furiously. klick klick klick klick klick... well, you get the idea.

The entire performance would have been a complete wash had not Edmund, during his Act I scene 2 "Thou, nature, art my goddess." soliloquy reach over and grab her knitting, I think it was right after the line "My mind as generous, and my shape as true
As honest madam's issue?"
- he said the line, reached down and grabbed her knitting, said, "These shall be returned to you a nonce" and continued on with the soliloquy, walking over to the wings to toss the stuff to someone offstage.

Needless to say, he not only got the greatest applause during the curtain call, he also returned her knitting and gave her some flowers during his solo bow, which seemed to tickle her no end.

Tragedy most skillfully and artfully avoided.

[sipos]

Posted: 9/23/09 at 4:25am

Falling asleep during Maury Yeston's PHANTOM at Papermill. Plus the show stopped because of a set malfunction. I dunno, it was either the Phantom's mask piercing the audience through the lighting or the lack of AC in the theatre. Or maybe it was my excitement for Donna McKechnie's preview performance in ANNIE WARBUCKS that left everything else sophmoric. What a time to be seeing shows. "But You Go On" anyone? Brilliant.

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 9/23/09 at 11:55am

That King Lear story is fantastic, proptart - thanks for sharing.




Updated On: 9/5/11 at 11:55 AM

[Marianne2]

Posted: 9/23/09 at 12:14pm

All these stories about people singing reminds me of when Hairspray the movie came out in 2007. Someone on a message board that I visited for the movie suggested that we all go to see the Broadway show on the same day, dress up and sing along, just because we loved the movie. I definitely refused and told them it was rude, as did other people.

[KylePKJP]

Posted: 9/4/11 at 11:06pm

Thought I'd give this a bump... though there's probably more recent threads about it and someone's gonna give me **** for it.

A touring production of Godspell came through my city several years back. I was deep in studies so I hadn't heard until the day it opened for a one-off, otherwise I would have gone.

The next day, the cast held a matinee for Catholic schools from Grades 6-12. I heard about it from a friend who went the night before so I went to the box office to see if there were any available seats. I lucked out and got a front orchestra seat for FREE.

It was a great show to start... but... either the students didn't "get it", were uninterested, or were just a$$holes. About half way through the first act a so-called coughing chorus began in the balcony, traveled down to the mezz and then rippled back to front through the orchestra... for 15 MINUTES. The cast was completely thrown off but props to them because they kept going. It was a 1500 seat theatre and you couldn't hear a thing from the stage.

At the end the cast got modest applause but they each stepped to the front of the stage and gave the house the middle finger. It was priceless, but a horrid experience as an audience member.

[quizking101]

Posted: 9/5/11 at 12:00am

BABY IT'S YOU was just AWFUL and I'm glad it's closing.

People. Drunk Seniors no less. Singing EVERY F*CKING SONG. OUT LOUD.

[egnarotsew]

Posted: 9/5/11 at 12:27am

Saturday night at Master Class as Callas was telling Onassis that she went through with the abortion, a cell phone went of. It was very loud and went on for quite a few lines. It completely ruined the last few minutes of the performance.

[Wilmingtom]

Posted: 9/5/11 at 1:07pm

My companion at Wicked was a lady who does not suffer fools gladly. A woman and her adult daughter took their aisle seats behind us just as the performance was about to begin. The house lights dim and they dig into their over-sized handbags, bringing out a complete meal. Now I don't mean a candy bar or bag of chips. I mean a chicken dinner with all the trimmings - we can smell it. Of course they're making all sorts of noise as they unwrap the meal, decide who's eating what, get out the napkins, and...wait for it...open cans of soda! My lady friend turns back to them and curtly asks them to quiet down while I'm wondering why an usher hasn't gotten wind of this. The women are now talking along with eating. Again my friend turns to them and, loudly, says, "Put the food away until intermission and shut up!" Now others are looking our way and I'm pretending to be invisible. But the women persist and now my friend tells them, "Shut the **** up and put the food away!" "We're not done," says the younger, indignantly. My friend jumps to her feet, takes the food right off their laps and throws it on the floor in the aisle. "Now you're done!" she says and sits back down. An usher now appears and asks my friend to leave the theater because she's disrupting the performance. Never have I been so humiliated as walking up that aisle with everyone glaring at us like I'd just taken a whiz in the orchestra pit. Lesson: the moment that food came out of the bag I should've gotten an usher.

[TheatreFreak05]

Posted: 9/5/11 at 2:04pm

Last Friday at Follies as soon as the lights went down an elderly man two seats from me got into an argument with the man seated next to him. He kept saying (very loudly) "move your arm!" to the man and I guess he wouldnt move it so the elderly man kept saying "move your arm" louder and louder. By this point the entire section of the orchestra was shushing the guy and I was completely drawn out of the prologue unable to concentrate on the stage. Then the elderly man began saying "you just hit me! You just hit an 80 year old man! How dare you!" I assure you that the guy next to him did NOT hit him. This man was crazy and no one could shut him up!

Uuuugh! Thankfully he moved during intermission.

[LegallyBroadway2]

Posted: 9/5/11 at 6:52pm

Spider-Man.

Sold out show on Saturday. I was siting in Row K center with a friend. This is my favorite show, so I was so so sooooo excited. I noticed a center section aisle empty spot. About six seats.

The lights dimmed- I was thinking GREAT they are going to wander in, a huge group with shopping bags-

oh they did. Ushered to their seat during Bullying By Numbers.

Fine fine I get it, benefit of the doubt.

A woman in front of me keeps talking to her husband in a foreign language.

A row behind me is another separate group of foreigners. They were LOUD. Seriously loud, laughing at their own conversations, they were drunk.

GREAT. They kept talking. I was TRYING to block them out of mind. We gave them some polite but PLEASE STOP looks.

Then the late center group suddenly stands. Two girls go running to the aisle, along with a woman with a cell phone. They run to the back as the male figure crouches in the aisle.

The two in front of me keep talking until a lovely lady leans forward and stabs the woman with her eyes.

Behind, the drunk party get the signal though the looks most have been throwing them.

The center two girls and the woman with the cellphone return to their seats.

The husband in front is texting. Intermission, it is quite clear he has no idea of the plot so the others are trying to fill him in- obviously a language barrier. But seriously, if you can't understand the language I wouldn't text.

A companion to the wife in front of my friend is sitting on the back of his chair, texting. The music begins for Act Two. He texts. The lights fade. He does not move, even when the Act Two drop flies out.

Still blocking our view. I finally tap him on the shoulder. He sits and soon puts his cellphone away.

During Freak Like Me Green Goblin walks into the house and escorts a man to his seat (afterward, I asked Patrick Page and he said he saw the man up and leave and decided if he was to return, he would walk with him)

The final scene begins to fly in, and the fourth row on the side sections stands. A larger woman and two boys get up, and walk up the aisle. They STAND in the aisle and talk a bit. An usher walks forward. The boy forgot his sweater- so as the Goblin is performing close stage right, the boy is busy climbing over people to get his sweater only some little feet away.

[Gaveston2]

Posted: 9/5/11 at 6:54pm

I love MAN OF LA MANCHA and always have. (Shut up!) So I was thrilled with Richard Kiley decided to revive it on Broadway in 1977 and I paid top price for 5th row center seats.

Unfortunately, the woman sitting two seats down from me decided to unwrap the cellophane from around a piece of candy during Kiley's (Don Quixote's) death scene. The entire scene. Apparently it was some sort of Special Security Issue candy because it was really well wrapped and took a good 5 minutes to open. Since you could hear a pin drop in the theater otherwise, I don't know how she or her male companion missed the disturbance she was creating. I was enraged.

This would just be a run-of-the-mill candy wrapper story except that when the curtain came down, I turned to the couple and hissed (quietly but emphatically), "I've looked forward to this show for months, paid full price and you ruined it by making noise with your candy wrapper throughout the climax. Was there REALLY a candy emergency that couldn't wait 5 minutes until the end of the show?!"

The couple looked at me with open mouths for a moment. Then the woman said, "I'm so sorry, I had no idea!' AND BURST INTO TEARS. Full sobs while her companion tried to comfort her.

So I got to be pissed, then feel like crap, then apologize at length and console her--all because she ruined the show.

[EponineAmneris]

Posted: 9/5/11 at 7:25pm

I *LOVE* PHANTOM and I have seen it many, many times. But each time I go, the audience does it's best to ruin it. I have dealt with multiple cell phones going off at the same time, picture taking, drinks being spilled on me, food being eaten, non-stop talking... not at the same performance, of course, but still *lol*

When I went to see HOW TO SUCCEED... the fan-girls who had NO desire to be at the musical itself or care they were in Broadway house seeing a great show, tried very hard act as if it was a concert and that Mr Radcliffe could hear and would personally return their cat-calls and shouts of undying love.

Updated On: 9/14/11 at 07:25 PM

[redmustang]

Posted: 9/6/11 at 1:14am

saveusmike -

I understand your irritation at people who don't applaud after musical numbers. Let me offer a couple possible explanations. Often, not everyone who goes to musicals really wants to be there (like you and me). People get dragged to the theatre by husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends. And they would really rather be anywhere else. I guess we're lucky they don't boo. Another possible reason: a lot of people have arthritis in their hands and fingers. My partner is a perfect example. He finds it very painful to applaud after a number, but I can see by the smile on his face that he enjoyed it. And his not applauding often embarrasses him because he's sure others are observing it.

[wexy]

Posted: 9/6/11 at 4:21pm

I took my sister's family to see '1776' and as the overture began, several agitated people began screaming at each other in Russian. My sister said "What's wrong with those people?"
I said "Maybe they thought they were going to see "1917"

but they did quiet down....

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 9/6/11 at 5:21pm

The HAIR "re"-revival this summer. I was about five seconds away from ripping the bag of candy out of her freaking hand. But somehow I maintained my composure.

Okay, it wasn't THAT bad. The Absolute Worst was the Dangerous Liaisons revival with Laura Linney. It was my first night as an iPhone owner. And I had no idea how easy it was to switch the phone from silent to not with your butt. And sure enough, for the first and only time in my entire life, my phone rang during Laura's beautiful moment at the end, after she discovers the Vicomte has died.

That's right. I'm blaming myself. I was MORTIFIED.

[AC126748]

Posted: 9/6/11 at 5:31pm

LES MISERABLES revival, a few days after opening. I'm sitting in excellent center orchestra seats, about ten rows back. To my left is an annoying couple with an unspeakable amount of candy. I'm talking BAGS. Hard candies, bags of stuff like Sour Patch Kids, chocolates--all of it. Directly in front of me are three guidos who can't keep their mouth shut. Here's how it plays out: The guidos are talking throughout the performance, but apparently they're personally offended by the old couple crinkling their candy wrappers. One of the guys turns around and loudly tells them to cut it out. In response, the older man takes his bag of candy, holds it right up to the guido's ear after he turns around, and crinkles it loudly. The guy turns around and nearly smacks the man. Both the talking and the crinkling continue throughout the entire first act.

At intermission, I politely asked the couple to stop eating the candy as it was distracting and cutting into my enjoyment of the show. They apologized and didn't eat any more candy. The guidos were a lost cause, though. They talked from one end to the other.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 9/6/11 at 5:38pm

Many years ago, I paid thousands of dollars to FINALLY see Michael Crawford and Sarah Brightman star in Girl of the Golden West and as soon as the house lights went down, I was surrounded by people who were furious at other people making a lot of noise, eating, texting, talking, pumping kegs of Coors Light from their seats, and giving birth, yet did NOTHING about it except seethe silently in their seats and expect others to act responsibly. Being a highly skilled post-graduate executive ninja, I embedded throwing stars into their skulls and as soon as their lifeless corpses hit the floor, I could finally enjoy the performance. The ushers, as usual, did nothing.