Your Worst Musical Ideas — Page 9

Keeping Up With The Kardashian's: The Musical

Lucky: The Britney Spears Musical.

Actually, to think of it, her back catalogue is pretty impressive...

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Several pages and years back, "Plague: The Musical" was suggested. About 15 years ago, I was visiting friends in London and went to see a show a friend was in. It was called "Eyam", and the major premise involved a village and the residents' attempt to avoid the plague. Musical numbers included "Moth Song", "Plague" (of course), and the rousing hit "Sumonyersgorragerroff!"

We Have 2 Go Back: The Lost Musical sequel.

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Female Trouble needs to be the next John Waters musical on stage. Dawn Davenport had more lives than Aimee Semple and Sybil.

Hollywood Babylon: The Musical
-A series of musical vignettes of compiled (and mostly false) gossip based on the Kenneth Anger book. We might not have enough male chorus members for the Clara Bow-USC football team number.

There was a Heathers musical was (I default to past tense because I have no idea if it is still happening) in the works that the movie's screenwriter Daniel Waters had demos of that he let the author who was writing a book of the movie listen to. That was as far as last year where that was revealed to be happening. I love the movie but I am trying to think in post-Columbine America how they are going to play that on stage.

O KARL! The Life of Karl Marx and Frederich Engels...as played By Nathan Lane and Roger Bart!

SAY IT AIN'T SO, JOE! Andrew Lloyd Webber musicalizes the transcripts of HUAC testimonies. Starring Norbert Leo Butz as Joseph McCarthy and Raul Esparza as Roy Cohn!

Chucky the Musical.

The Gods Must Be Crazy For You, a Botswanan boy unhappily engaged to the daughter of a wealthy chieftan wants to be a Broadway hoofer; after failing to impress at an audition, he travels to Deadrock, Nevada to get rid of a coca cola bottle to which the Bushmen have attributed magical powers and open a bank; there he meets some Tea Party guerrillas who are planning to recall Harry Reid and falls in love with a cowgirl who can belt. Mayhem ensues.

Film Parody: The Musical!

It's about a guy majoring in theatre who is constantly told by all his theatre major friends how brilliantly funny he is. He reads about a cult film that was turned into a campy parody musical and decides to copy the idea. All his friends think it's hilarious. Especially because the title has "The Musical!", which makes it even more funny, because it must have worked for that musical he read about and saw clips of on Youtube. At the world premiere. the only people who would come to the show are his friends and family and immediately following the opening night performance, Satan traps them all in the theatre, burns it down, and drags their souls to Hell to torture in extreme pain for all of eternity as punishment for their sophomoric humor and lack of originality. Mankind learns its lesson and never produces this type of show again. World peace. Love. Free universal health care. 0% unemployment. The end of poverty. And no species of animal is ever endangered again.

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Still Another Vodka Stinger:
Lindsay Lohan the musical

best. idea. ever. patent that ****, NOW!

"BWW Boards: The Musical"

Songs include:

"Dollypop, Dollypop"

"Report Me!"

"The Chi Chi Cha Cha"

"Anything Patti Can Do, Bernie Can Do Better"

"Just STFU Jordan"

And the show stopper, ""I'll Bash The Show Before I See It"

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Cute!