The Late Joan Rivers: 'Does this urn make my ash look fat?'- Page 25

[PalJoey]

Posted: 9/7/14 at 8:39am

I'm wearing a Jos. A. Banks suit with a Thomas Pink tie.

The suit is not haute couture, but she once called me a cheapskate, so it's appropriate. (I think the tie cost more than the suit.)

And in answer to A Director's questions: Yes, I am Jewish. No., I'm not a family member, and what's been happening since Joan went into the hospital is what Elisabeth Kubler-Ross referred to as "Anticipatory Grief." Google it.

May her name be for a blessing--and may her funeral be as glamorous as she wished: "with lights, cameras, action" and Craft services.

[Huss417]

Posted: 9/7/14 at 9:24am

Pal Joey,

You are a better man than I. I wouldn't have responded back to the questions.

The Lox will be the first thing to go at Craft services today. :)

[sabrelady]

Posted: 9/7/14 at 10:34am

When my friend Marjorie Gross(comedian/writer/Seinfeld producer) died the family had sushi instead of lox. I remember thinking- that the salmon was not even smoked! I expect it that is the Hollywood way!

[Huss417]

Posted: 9/7/14 at 11:28am

With this taking place in the morning, I just assumed Lox. :) Since I mentioned it earlier I have had a craving for Lox but will now have sushi for lunch instead. :)

[PalJoey]

Posted: 9/7/14 at 2:38pm

No Meryl and no Craft Services, but it was otherwise perfect., I posted the program and some details in the thread on the Main Board.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 9/7/14 at 4:18pm

Are they actually sitting shiva? When an older cousin of mine died about a year ago she had a proper(Orthodox) burial but her sons are not the slightest devout so we went back to her apt after the service/ burial noshed a lot, came back for services that evening in the apt and that was it. Figure it might be the same here.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 9/7/14 at 6:39pm

Melissa is receiving in Los Angeles on Thursday and Friday, so i think it's a very reform shiva.

I'll tell this story in this thread and not on the Main Board because it's too risque for the children.

This is how Howard Stern began the eulogies. He came out, stood at the rabbi's lectern and said:

JOAN RIVERS HAD A VERY DRY VAGINA.

He then went on to describe a routine she did on his radio show, saying that her vagina was so dry, she couldn't take a bath, because her dry vagina would suck up all the water in the bathtub.

Like a giant sponge.

Going WHOOOOOOOOOSH!

And then Howard said, "Any other comedian would have stopped there, but not Joan. She was relentless, she always went for one more punchline, the one that went too far for some people. And so Joan added:

"If Whitney Houston had had a vagina as dry as mine, that girl would still be alive today!"

[Huss417]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 3:32pm

Very funny. I heard Stern was quite colorful. Thanks for sharing that bit. :)

[sabrelady]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 5:04pm

Keep your fork Joan!

I just read this story and loved it!

JOAN: Keep your fork. It’s an old Shalom Aleichem story. Don’t you know it? A young woman was dying of cancer and she turned to her Rabbi and said, “Rabbi, when I die, bury me with a fork in one hand. Whenever my family was at home eating dinner and they came to clear off the main course, my grandmother, who survived six pogroms, said, ‘No, no, children. Give me your plates, but keep your forks. You haven’t had dessert yet. The best is yet to come. I think that’s so wonderful. Keep your fork. The best is yet to come."

[A Director]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 5:42pm

Over the weekend, I watched YouTube videos of Moms Mabley who many consider the first female stand-up comic. Her jokes were pointed and still funny after all these years. Also watch a video of probably her last interview before she died. In it, she said she loved everyone and wanted more peace in the world.

I watched videos of Phyllis Diller. Her jokes were pointed and still funny after all these years.

I watched videos of Joan Rivers. One was from an appearance on Ed Sullivan. Her jokes were pointed and still funny after all these years. Also, watched recent videos and read some recent jokes. Over the years, in my opinion, she became nasty, bitter and not funny. She was so desperate to remain relevant and in the spotlight, she took the vulgar path.

Then I read Howard Stern's comments. I'm not a Whitney Houston fan. Joan Rivers' attempt at humor was in very poor taste; she crossed the line. This is not about PC; it's about human decency. I don't care how wonderful Joan Rivers was off stage. If I wanted the roll around in the gutter with Joan Rivers, I'd say what happened to her during surgery was God's way of saying, "Shut, the f***, Joan." Too soon?

[SNAFU]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 6:27pm

Actually many of her jokes ended up with her pretending to put her finger down her throat and gagging. Karma?

[DAME]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 6:58pm

The dry vagina -Whitney Houston thing was hilarious. @A Director... you have nothing new to say?

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 8:24pm

How soon was too soon for Whitney Houston jokes?

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 8:38pm

It wasn't too soon to have a Grammy party in the same building on the very night she died, her corpse still warm upstairs - but that's neither here nor there, I suppose.

I did laugh at the vagina joke.

Updated On: 9/8/14 at 08:38 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 8:48pm

I should preface this by pointing out that I realize this is not my thread and everything I will post is based on nothing more than my feelings and that my feelings are all wrong. Having said that, as Rob Sheffield's appreciation reminded readers in Rolling Stone, three days after Whitney died Joan said Whitney looked great at the Grammys, "in mahogany from head to toe". Now we realize how much Joan was projecting, because according to one of the umpteen million inescapable clips of the street scene outside of Joan's funeral, Joan chose a mahogany casket.

But you know, it's FINE what she said about Whitney. Everything was just FINE. Joan cured AIDS with comedy. And SNAFU, you're right. I saw a clip of Joan from a couple decades ago and she talked about Yoko Ono and then stuck her finger down her throat and made retching noises. I wanted to punch the screen because she was specifically talking about Yoko's looks (although I realize this was wrong of me to feel because everything Joan said was FINE and helpful to gay people so I have no right to feel the way I feel), but as you point out, SNAFU, irony got the last gag.

Oh, and as for Yoko and Joan. One of that pair has been a feminist her whole life. The other was not. The one who is a feminist ALWAYS had the eyes of an Asian woman, her entire life.

Updated On: 9/8/14 at 08:48 PM

[Borstalboy]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 8:51pm

But...but...Robin Williams...

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 8:53pm

lol

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 8:55pm

To me, The Onion perfectly summed up Joan's entire life's work with its 1999 headline: "Brittle Jewess Does Not Like What George Clooney Is Wearing." Brava, great lady of the stage and unsurpassed humanitarian.


The Onion

Updated On: 9/8/14 at 08:55 PM

[SNAFU]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 9:01pm

"The one who is a feminist ALWAYS had the eyes of an Asian woman, her entire life."

^
Love!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 9:01pm

Too fecking soon for many, I'm sure.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 9:07pm

FINE.

Really tho.

Jes Fin.

















Updated On: 9/8/14 at 09:07 PM

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 9:07pm

Look, I admitted that all of my feelings are WRONG.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 9:10pm

Ah yes but have expiated your feelings and sought redemption? Then U R still A sinnAH!

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 9:18pm

Well, a lot of people here have made it clear that Joan has ascended directly to heaven so I might as well stay a sinner if it means I don't end up where she is. EVEN IF SHE WAS GRACIOUS OFFSTAGE.

[sabrelady]

Posted: 9/8/14 at 9:26pm

Well, Henry II walked barefoot in sackcloth and ashes to Canterbury and endorsed the monks to flog him and that was for the mere death of an Archbishop of Canterbury not reviling the memory
of an elderly comic Jewess on a Broadway interweb forum.

Just saying.
Fine.