Anthony Rapp's WITHOUT YOU: NOW WITH NEW REVIEWS

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 2:11pm

I'd actually been debating whether or not it would be wise to post a separate thread for this review. But I decided that since posts in the Welcome, Anthony Rapp thread tend to get buried quickly, I should risk the wrath of those who are sick of RENT threads and post it on its own. I hope this is on the right board, as opposed to the Off-Topic board. Eeeeee. Anyway, soooooo here we go!


Without You
A Memoir of Love, Loss, and the Musical RENT

POSSIBLY SPOILERIFIC but then again, not really. It’s hard to delve into the details of the book without relaying the entire story. I’ll only touch on a few items.



So I was sitting in World History lecture a couple weeks ago when I was boredly surfing the net for something to bide my time. I tend to not pay much attention to my professor (and neither does anyone else, as evidenced by the boy playing Super Mario 3 on his laptop in front of me), so the internet and instant messenger is a blessing during these dragging lectures.

Being the silly fan I am, I checked the RENT blog. I knew it tended to update at around noon or so on Mondays and Fridays, and I was looking forward to another video tidbit.

Except this time around, it was a contest to win an advanced copy of Anthony Rapp’s book, Without You. I told myself, “Eh, what the hell,” refreshed the page a few times until the comments started working and posted my address. I didn’t get any word back for awhile.

Until this past Monday, anyway, when I received a “PACKAGE NOTIFICATION” e-mail from the school. I quickly wrapped up my chemistry test and picked up a thick brown envelope from the mail center, complete with a Congratulations letter from Simon & Schuster, and, of course, Anthony Rapp’s signature on the title page of the bright yellow uncorrected edition. I zipped through its 309 pages cover to cover, completing it last evening at around midnight.

After sitting on this review for an entire night, wondering how I was going to express in words a review of this touching account, I realized that… well, some things don’t need to be described. For example, all of us understand that Anthony is a gifted, eloquent writer and speaker. He has this certain ability to pull the reader in and guide him through to the end. A charisma and charm in writing, in speaking, and in acting, if you will. The memoir is an incredibly fast, absorbing read, and I actually found myself a little saddened that it was over so soon.

But at the same time, it’s so personal, so honest, that I couldn’t help but feel like I’d been prying too far into someone else’s life, into business that I shouldn’t be snooping out. If I hadn’t kept telling myself that Anthony Rapp is going to publish this for public sale, I would have felt as if I were doing something naughty. I can imagine it’s incredibly liberating (but at the same time, utterly terrifying) to release all of these intimate feelings to the world.

When I say ‘intimate,’ I mean intimate. Anthony is unafraid to bare the unsmudged truth. Nothing is sugar-coated, and the memoir certainly doesn’t cast himself in a holy light of perfection and glory. From discovering his sexuality to his relationship with his mother to his experiences in RENT… He’s blunt, he’s honest, and he admits when he’s been an asshole or has had a temporary lapse of sanity. He is a living and breathing person, full of mistakes and hope and despair and regrets and flickers of happiness and depression and love and hate just like any other man. Just some guy with a career in acting.

And it’s beautiful. Heartbreakingly beautiful. I feel incredibly touched and privileged to have been one of the ‘early birds’ to experience Anthony’s first completed soul-filled piece of literary work. Silly that it was through a sheer chance contest on a SONY-sponsored blog, huh?

I wish I could say more about it, but there isn’t much I can say that will do it justice. I guess I can say my personal interest in Without You wasn’t only due to the fact that I’m a fan of Anthony’s work and an admirer of his strong, genial personality, but largely in part to my avid interest in human psychology. I have a very deep interest in learning about what makes people tick. And, well… I got what I was curious about and then some. Pain and experience may be the best teacher, but it really hurts me to know all the suffering and death and illness one man was forced to witness.

At the same time, however, it’s a great source of support for those people who are experiencing something similar to Anthony’s plights, be it with gay and lesbian issues, cancer-ridden friends, or otherwise. I’m certain anyone could relate in some way. And, you know, people need all the help they can get during especially difficult times. Sends them a message that they’re not completely alone and there’s always a way out—or “THROUGH,” in this case.

I suppose this was more of a musing over what I had just read than a real review of the material. I truly admire Anthony for his courage. It’s not exactly an easy task to pour your feelings, experiences, and secrets onto paper, let alone publish it for the world to read.

Now that concerns my greatest fear over this material. I’m afraid that some people will read it and suddenly change their opinion of Anthony Rapp. What I have in mind are the younger fans (no insult to anyone on this board! Most of you are mature!) that don’t exactly have the ability to understand how all of his experiences fit into context. They might be immaturely shocked or amused by some of the more probing instances in the book. In fact, I have a few girls in mind who would react in that exact way.

That aside, I wish Anthony the best success and hope to see more writings from him in the future. Think you’d try your hand at fiction sometime, like your brother?

I fully intend to buy the final version when it is released in February. I hope all of you decide to do the same.

Any questions?

Updated On: 2/7/06 at 02:11 PM

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 2:15pm

Yay! Thanks for the review Lari. Let me reiterate my jealousy!

I already have the book on pre-order from Amazon.

[Allie]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 2:27pm

Beautiful review/musings, Lari! Thanks for posting. February seems so far away!

[Fizz]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 2:30pm

I said it once and wills ay it again- beautiful review. Can't wait for it to come out to the rest of us who were online at 6 am and STILL were too late :p

[greenegirl87]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 2:35pm

How many minutes til February?? :]

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 6:01pm

About 97,920 minutes. If you don't count what's remaining of today.

[sadiem100]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 6:12pm

February is so far away. Damn. Well I can ask for it for my birthday.
Thanks a lot for the review!

[allie931]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 6:29pm

thanks for posting that great review...i cant wait to read it! february seems so far away....

[jeremykushnier1fan]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 6:51pm

I can't wait for it to come out! Argh, Feburary is so far... yet so was Nov 23rd and it came quicker then i could remember.

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 9:18pm

No problem, everyone. This deserved a review. Thanks for the comments.

[Mandi Moo]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 9:46pm

Hey, maybe we can use the SOON icon as the release of his book approaches! Yes!

Can't wait! I've had it pre-ordered for a few weeks already.

[My Fair Lady]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 9:51pm

I want it.

[xM3L24x]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 9:54pm

"Hey, maybe we can use the SOON icon as the release of his book approaches! Yes! "

yesss, another reason for that icon!! =)
i cant wait to read this

side story: i overheard my little brother telling my mom hes going to get the RENT DVD for my xmas, i was like aww--it was so cute even though it doesnt come out until spring.

[dmb_rent]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 10:13pm

Great review. Thanks for that. I can't wait to read this book. <3

Sarah

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 11/24/05 at 10:23pm

Yay, thanks a lot, Lari! I'm now even more excited (if that's even possible).

[loridunn]

Posted: 11/26/05 at 10:42pm

Lari that was such a great review thank-you so much. I cannot wait for this book, February is incredibly far away as of now.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/26/05 at 10:43pm

I'm on page 11.

[rclocalz]

Posted: 11/27/05 at 12:27am

Awesome review!

[xoxRogue]

Posted: 11/27/05 at 12:32am

As I posted in the other thread, spectacular review, or as you put it, musing.

[bwayondabrain]

Posted: 11/27/05 at 9:40am

yeah, good review!
cant wait to read it... 3 months!!!! :)

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 11/27/05 at 12:01pm

Grrrrr. . . . can you say "jealous?" I wish it was out now but I think I will survive.

[StephanietheStar]

Posted: 11/27/05 at 12:14pm

Do you think it will be out in London,too?? I'm studying abroad!! I need this book though....so hopefully somewhere in Europe will get it!

Thanks for your review! and I'm sooo thoroughly jealous of you :)

-Steph

[staticradar]

Posted: 11/27/05 at 1:42pm

i'm only on chapter 3 of my copy...an unedited version of the book that i got..I'm savoring it...wonderful review. Can't wait to finish the book :)

[LariTheLoud]

Posted: 11/27/05 at 2:28pm

Staticradar - Yellow, right? BRIGHT yellow, with the signature on the title page? Woo!

[Wanna Be A Foster]

Posted: 11/27/05 at 2:47pm

Thank you, Lari. This is how a true REVIEW should be. It's lovely, and I am very much looking forward to it's arrival at my doorstep (thanks Amazon pre-order!) :)