Some of the people on this board amaze me sometimes....- Page 2

[Kad]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 9:52am

It goes into depth to explain the Phantom's origins but it's not really a prequel, per se.

Anyway.

To the OP: Numerous posters gave you feedback in the other topic. You have chosen to ignore them, probably because you don't want to hear that you've plagiarized a good deal of music and what's not plagiarized is mediocre at best.

[tazber]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 10:08am

The producers who will reject your work will probably be thinking the same thing as those "rude" posters.

Grow a spine and learn to take criticism. All criticism.

And stop being such a little whiner because people don't like your work.

[Broadwayhunk]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 10:21am

Speaking of plagiarism, I've heard some strikingly similar songs to those "composed" by ALW, although I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

[Wynbish]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 10:41am

When a member of Pink Floyd was asked about Phantom's overture, he said, "Yeah, the beginning of that bloody Phantom song is from Echoes. *DAAAA-da-da-da-da-da*. I couldn't believe it when I heard it. It's the same time signature—-it's 12/8—-and it's the same structure and it's the same notes and it's the same everything. Bastard. It probably is actionable. It really is! But I think that life's too long to bother with suing Andrew f---ing Lloyd Webber."

Any new composer or playwright could benefit from researching copyright law. Webber could/should have been sued. Why spend a decade working on something that could/will be stopped in court? It would be one thing if you had a strikingly similar overture for a completely different story, but this one is about the same book. An easy target.
Pink Floyd vs. Phantom Overture

[GatorNY]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 11:07am

"Damned for All TIme" sounds like the theme song to the Batman TV show.

[CapnHook]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 11:49am

You've been working on this for 10 years? Your profile says you were born in '88, so you have been writing this show since you were 14?

[PattiLover]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 12:02pm

I love it when people want their works critiqued but then can't handle it when it's revealed their work is not the masterpiece they'd like to believe it is.

It's not the audience's fault for not enjoying a play, it's the play's fault for not being enjoyable to the audience.

[hyperbole_and_a_half]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 1:06pm

I indulged in snark in some of your previous eleventy threads, but, as someone with a degree in music, I'm afraid any constructive criticism I could give you would be even more withering. Here are two free (and heavily edited) pieces of advice:

Pick up a book on music theory. Schoenberg's Theory of Harmony is easy, informative and readily available. Your music lacks rhythmic and harmonic cadence, often sounding like over-extended recitative with this weird counter-melody doodling around in the background. It makes your music very hard to listen to, especially for prolonged periods of time (just ask anyone who has sat through The Adding Machine). Remember music usually has a foreground, midground and background--you need to fill those spaces. Ditch the synthesizer and focus on making good, satisfying music with 10 fingers and 88 keys. If you were writing a different kind of musical, I'd really suggest finding a guitar, since basic guitar playing is all about harmony and rhythm and those are your weak spots.

Your lyrics are not good. You rhymed "loneliNESS/emptiNESS/darkNESS/hatefulNESS". Ignoring the laziNESS of rhyming suffixes like that (and doing it four times in a row!), the lyrics themselves are this weird Hot Topic shade of purple, more worthy of Livejournal or Myspace angst poetry than musical theatre--it's more "pity party" than "pitiable". The real problem is that the Phantom is telling and not showing his emotional impairment. Yes, he is wounded and brooding, but would he ever actually admit that he is wounded and brooding? The answer should be "no"; look at wounded and brooding characters that have been successfully musicalized: Sweeney Todd or Caroline from Caroline, or Change. These characters never (or rarely) exposit their emotional baggage, instead letting it exhibit itself in the ways they react to other people and situations. This makes what could be a dark, cartoonish character into something grim, deep and complex. Or, to put it another way: don't write a song about the broken leg, find a way to musicalize the limp.

But really: please please please ditch the synthesizer.

[Adam Chris]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 2:07pm

Hyperbole, in fairness to the author, the Phantom is clearly drunk in this song. You can see in the video he is staggering around and dizzy and can't be held responsible for the things he says when the drink has gone straight to his head. When I'm drunk it's difficult for me to ryhme so I say the Phantom did pretty good with "emptiness, darkness" and so on. Kudos to the Phantom.

On a serious note, did you hear the lyric that says something about an "angel" destined for "hell"? Where have we heard THAT before? Plus, musicaly there is the repeated 8th notes which is associated with Phantom in POTO & Love Never Dies.

Unfortunately, the music is just boring, slow and drawn out.

[Kelly2]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 2:10pm

Hey guys...I'm about to blow your mind.

What if air is poisonous and it just takes 80 years to kill us?

/thread

[hermajesty]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 3:22pm

Deleted [off topic]

Updated On: 7/5/12 at 03:22 PM

[iluvtheatertrash]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 3:34pm

Hyperbole, I thought - and so did many others - that ADDING MACHINE was brilliant. Not to change the subject... Tcompare it to this in such a negative way is a bit ridiculous. It's fine to not like it, but to compare it to THIS? C'mon... Apples and oranges.

Updated On: 7/4/12 at 03:34 PM

[hermajesty]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 3:46pm

Off topic

Updated On: 7/5/12 at 03:46 PM

[NoName3]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 8:54pm

Pink Floyd is shameless. Those same descending notes with almost identical harmonic structure can be heard in the first movement of Ralph Vaughan Williams' London Symphony -- which premiered in 1914. 100% exactly the same? No, not quite, but much too similar for Pink Floyd to claim it as original. ALW's version is as close to the one as to the other.

[GavestonPS]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 9:46pm

hyperbole, just as a reader, thank you for your generous and constructive criticism above. I found it very educational as well as interesting.

Updated On: 7/4/12 at 09:46 PM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 10:27pm

Very sharp analysis, hyperbole!

[THEATRICAL100]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 11:06pm

Look, I don't agree with everyone on this board, but having been a teenage producer who recently mounted a small musical tour (whose material is similar to another theatre piece) if you're not prepared for hardcore criticism, this isn't the field of work for you.
Sorry.

[ljay889]

Posted: 7/4/12 at 11:21pm

"Angel Of Music" - The Untold Musical Prequel To "The Phantom Of The Opera"
Monday via mobile
FYI, Angel of Music is a prequel to the STORY of The Phantom Of The Opera, NOT the ALW musical. We want to make that clear to everyone, especially all you guys on Broadwayworld.com who continue to bash us without having read the script or heard more than one of our songs. Thanks.

-AWN

[gabrieljwickedone]

Posted: 7/5/12 at 12:56am

Ok, a few points:

-I can't stand all the queens on this board, so please don't view me as one of them. They are very rude and narrow minded, I am not.

-I read the libretto and listened to your music so do NOT accuse me of blind criticism. How do you know we didn't read the libretto?

-The overture is just like Phantom's. Everyone is right. Your score is filled with plagiarism.

-The story has potential, but is not very strong.

-If you want to write an original show- great! But this is not good subject matter at all. Bad choice.

-Also, read up on how to format your libretto. It's important.

Sorry if this post makes me sound like a bitch, but it's the truth. You need to toughen up and take the criticism if you want to make it in this business.

[jimmycurry01]

Posted: 7/5/12 at 1:05am

Why on Earth would I continue listening to more than one song after the one I listened to was clearly plagiarized? The writers need to write something original, then come back and let us hear it. In the mean time, they are thieves.

[Kad]

Posted: 7/5/12 at 1:47am

Instead of pouting and crying, "Unfair!", it'd be really swell if the OP acknowledged that a good deal of what's been post has been... well, fair. And, honestly, a lot less harsh than what professional critics and producers would have to say (And honestly- don't lash out at the posters here. You have no idea what a lot of us do for careers. A lot of people here are very knowledgeable and are/have been in the business).

Your story may be a prequel to a story in the public domain.

But it is clearly piggybacking off of a musical that is very much copyrighted. The music is at best "inspired" by the music in ALW's musical... at worst, pretty much the same stuff. The problems with what is original have eloquently been pointed out by hyperbole earlier in this thread.

The story itself is problematic.

Yes, I get you are exploring story concepts that are in the original Leroux novel.

However, a large part of what made the character originally so alluring was his mystery. We got a glimpse of his past in the novel, enough to create a mysterious and dangerous figure.

By sucking all of the mystery out of him, we get... a deranged madman who apparently stumbled out of a darker version of A Series of Unfortunate Events.

[JohnyBroadway]

Posted: 7/5/12 at 1:49am

I'm unable to find the Libretto, Could someone post the link.

[jimmycurry01]

Posted: 7/5/12 at 4:22am

Are you sure you want to read it? The plot synopsis does not sound great and bares a strong resemblance to the Susan Kay novel Phantom, even though they claim to have not read it.

I don't see it on there anymore anyway. They have also taken their stolen overture off the site as well. They appear to have either taken that criticism seriously, or they just got fed up hearing about it.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 7/5/12 at 4:38am

Angel Of Music: The Untold Musical Prequel To "The Phantom Of The Opera"

This "untold" prequel is, perhaps, a tale better left untold.

Updated On: 7/5/12 at 04:38 AM