Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members- Page 12

[carnimiriel]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 12:01am

Just today as I was leaving after a performance of The Water's Edge, 2 elderly ladies (60s or 70s) were talking about the play, "... I don't know what happened! Suddenly there was a naked man in the bathtub!"

While this is probably more annoying than hilarious, there were 2 competing camps at the Faith Healer stage door: [Imagine screaming teens] "You were GREAT in Harry Potter!" vs "You were wonderful in Schindler's List!"

[little_sally]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 12:04am

"Some of the lyrics in Halloween don't make sense like when he sings "how did we get here, how the hell--Pam left.." who the heck is Pam and why did she leave?"

HAHAHAHAAHAH!! That is the funniest thing I've ever read. I love this thread.

[Joshua488]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 3:47am

After a performance of Hairspray:

MIDWEST TOURIST WIFE: Wow! That was great!

MIDWEST TOURIST HUSBAND: Eh, it wasn't as good as Mamma Mia.

[Fiction Writer]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 4:13am

I love how people refer to tourist like they're from Pluto.

[Eastwickian]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 5:30am

When surely everyone knows they come from Uranus...

Anyway, two elderly American ladies at The Mousetrap in London:

Woman 1: Apparently the play's been running for 50 years
Woman 2: Well, I expect they have to change the identity of the killer every few years to make it different.

I didn't have the heart to tell them the author had been dead for a good 25 years... Updated On: 6/19/06 at 05:30 AM

[jonartdesigns]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 10:08am

one courtesy of my grandmother (hangs head in shame)
she went to see man of la mancha, came home the following was our conversation

grandma: don quiote was awfully tan for a white guy
me: thats brian stokes mitchell, he's biracial
grandma: OH! then i MUST have seen an understudy
me: *takes playbill, gives it a hearty shake, nothing comes out* nope you saw stokes
grandma: then you must be wrong about the actor

[Wanna Be A Foster]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 10:31am

I saw the producers, and heard a family of 2 teen boys and a mom talking at intermissionL:

Teen Boy 1: That was prety funny, I don't really like musicals but that was funny.

Teen Boy 2: I didn't like those gay chracters, like are those guys really gay?

Mom: Well they must be, they didn't seem straight to me at all.

This makes me so very sad.

[Wanna Be A Foster]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 10:33am

After a performance of Hairspray:

MIDWEST TOURIST WIFE: Wow! That was great!

MIDWEST TOURIST HUSBAND: Eh, it wasn't as good as Mamma Mia.

This makes me sad too, but in more of a *hehe, frown* sort of way.

[bwaybabe3]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 10:51am

When I saw wicked I was the second to the last row in the back of the orchestra, and a tourist family was behind me. The teenage son turned to his sister and says "What is this play about, anyways? Like witches and magic or something?" Now, you would think that comin to WICKED and all the WICKED advertisements, might give away a bit of the story line... and I thought his teenage sister would put him in his place, but she just said "I don't know" and slumped down in her seat.

the ennnntire show they sighed, and spoke, and then in the middle ofthe second act, the father and son leave the theatre and shed light during a low-lit moment. I was soooo mad because I had waited so long for tickets and to see the show in the stupid seats I had and they just ruined, and then it happened. The dad opens the door, and shouts "HONEY, PASS THE MILK BALLS!!!!!"

and I just laughed.

[LadyLizaElliott]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 11:17am

WOW, I keep coming back to read more! Anyway, I found one more I could think of.. I was seeing "Man of La Mancha" back with my theater company and my sister came with her boyfriend, who was in the company, well, my sister's boyfriend's brother was seeing his first broadway show (or show for that matter) and when my sister passed him a playbill he went:

Brother: Oh my god is this a playboy?!
Me: No, it's PLAYBILL, it's the programme for the show.
Brother: Oh man, I was disappointed.
SisBoyfriend: I'll buy you some when we get home...

I was so shocked and annoyed, I had to sit next to him and he wouldn't stop asking questions.

[Eastwickian]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 11:20am

Another one - a matinee of Les Mis in London. The man sitting in front of me had obviously been dragged there by his wife and as the lights come up on the chain gang stuggling across the stage, he leans over and 'whispers' to his wife:

"Oh Christ, they're singing! You never told me this was a bloody musical!"

Oddly, he was very enthusiastic in his applause at the curtain call, so maybe he changed his mind by the end...

[Jilani]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 11:28am

At the stage door for Wicked in Boston, I overheard a group of high school students shout when some ensemble members came out: "Hooray for the extras! We love the extras!"

[AlexandraDecker]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 11:30am

So this is a little differentk, it's more somethung funny said to me in New York. My mother and I were standing in the TKTS line and had been for about an hour, (She was convinced it opened at 9....) we were getting rather sick of eachother and this Australian man was in the wrap around next to us so we chatted about what shows we'd seen, the line moved and we were seperated, but my mother decided that she would invite him to stand next us because he was such a nice guy. So my mom brings him back up and we get to the window, get our tickets and he says, "Oh! I thought you two were hookers. I thought TKTS was beginning to sell halfprice hookers! Wouldn't that be smart?"

What I don't get it is the way we were dressed. I was wearing jeans and a 1940's swing coat, and my mother was wearing khakis and a great north polar fleece?

Have I missed something in the development of hookers?

[freeadmission]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 12:16pm

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Maybe a polo fleece is Australian for sexy . . .

[elphieisperky]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 12:36pm

These are great!

Mine's also a little different, it has to do with my mom. So we won front row center lottery tickets for Wicked last November. We were right behind that conductor who has bushy, curly, black hair, you know him? He's been there since it opened. Anyways, Mom and I were talking to him. He's telling us stuff like why he didn't like the RENT movie, and how Idina picked him to be the conductor at what would have been her last show, etc. So I'm looking at my Playbill, and my poor mother is just chatting away with this guy. Suddenly, he goes, "excuse me one second," and he turns around, gives a nod to the orchestra, and starts the show! My mom was holding him up from starting the show! She gave me the weirdest look, she was so mortified. And even worse, the same thing happened at intermission! We have this feeling now that the orchestra members were looking at their watches while my mom was yapping, going, "Who the hell is he talking to NOW?!"

Another cute story I have, shorter this time. My friends and I were watching RENT (the movie) together. My friend's little sister, Colette, insisted on watching it with us. So we're at the song Rent, and you know the "How we gonna pay?" part? Well, Colette sits up and goes, "Who's Howie, and why is he gonna pay?" Ah, children :)

[NJgirl]

Posted: 6/19/06 at 12:58pm

Threepenny Opera yesterday afternoon....

The old couple sitting next to me amused me greatly and with more things than just this story. Before the show, the man moaned "I saw the original with Lotte Lenya, I'm gonna hate this revival thing". The wife tried to appease him with "there's alot of celebrities in this show, dear..maybe you'll like it". During "Mack the knife" the man goes "who the heck is that singing?" And the wife responded with "Cyndi Lauper". Cue to Ana Gasteyer coming out for her first entrance and the audience gave entrance applause and the man practically yells "who the hell is she and why does she get entrance applause?" The wife responds with "dear, thats Cyndi Lauper....gee she changed her wig and clothes fast!"

I was sitting in the 4th row center..it's not like we were THAT far away to mistake Cyndi and Ana as one person...lol

Needless to say, this man did NOT like the full frontal in the show...lol

Posted: 6/20/06 at 8:16pm

Not in New York but shows how ditzy my theatre friends can be.

My best friend and I decided to start a rumor about which show we were going to do for our spring musical next year. We didn't know which show to pick, so I asked her, "What's a show that our high school can't pull off no matter what?" Since she was looking at my Sweeney Todd CD sleeve earlier (and commenting on how bloody everyone was) she said, "Sweeney Todd!" I said, "Perfect! How about we also add that the show's been pre-cast. You're Johanna and I'm Mrs. Lovett." and she says, "Ooh! Am I all bloody?"

Doesn't sound funny now, but when it happened it was hilarious.
Shows how Sondheim-deprived she is.

[fiyero8132]

Posted: 6/20/06 at 8:50pm

Picked up this bit of conversation at a performance of Gypsy last year. Three elderly ladies were seated next to me. Just as Bernadette triumphantly finished the first act and the house lights came up, one of the women pierces the silence in the theatre by barking: "My synagogue put this show on last year. Our rabbi's wife played the lead and, quite frankly, she was much better than that Brenda Peters woman." Is that not rock bottom? The theatre gods should smite her.

Posted: 6/20/06 at 9:22pm

Happened at Brooklyn on Kids Night on Broadway

Mother- Honey, do like the show?
Little girl- No mommy. I hate it. I wanna go home
Mother- Why sweetie?
Little girl- There's no bridge in this. I like bridges

[fxy2003cmu]

Posted: 6/20/06 at 10:39pm

I love this thread. Its great. Here's one from me: This was after Wicked in Detroit last Saturday. The show had ended and everyone's lined up to leave the theatre. This mom and her two kids, looked about 7 and 5 are standing in front of us.

7-year-old: Mom, I don't get it, why was the wizard her dad?
Mom: (glancing at my friend and me) Well, um, honey, her mom didn't like her daddy very much, so um...(glancing nervously around some more)

At this point my friend and I are trying very hard not to laugh.

7-year-old: and?
Mom: Well, she didn't like the dad very much but she liked the wizard alot and (long pause) ...she had an affair.
7-year-old: (looking embarassed)oh.
5-year-old: Mommy, what does that mean?
Mom: Um...

Yeah that pretty much made my day. We laughed about it most of the way home.

[BroadwayBound062]

Posted: 6/20/06 at 11:14pm

Hairspray....in Dayton, Ohio

Old Man: So whats there show about?
Woman: I think its about a fat girl whose mom is a drag queen and has bad hair
OLD MAN: So?
Woman: Well the hairspray was magical and turns the mom into a woman

I was dying laughing, i thought I was gonna pee my pants in the theatre

[Anakela]

Posted: 6/21/06 at 10:56am

...she had an affair.
7-year-old: (looking embarassed)oh.
5-year-old: Mommy, what does that mean?
Mom: Um...

That's awesome...I actually heard a mom after Wicked in L.A. who was doing the same thing, her 7/8ish year old daughter was doing the "what's an affair?" bit, and mom was all "it's when mommy goes out on a date with someone who is not daddy."

I don't know if her kid really understood it much, but it made me laugh.

[ILoveMyDictionary]

Posted: 6/21/06 at 11:05am

This isn't really like all the others but it was funny for me anyway....
After DRS matinee, when my dad and I exited the theatre, we were just in time for the mob scene for Three Days of Rain. There was this old couple standing on the sidewalk going "What? who is that? Is she important?" so my dad goes "Julia Roberts" and the couple continues saying "Who is that?" and were maybe five steps away and we hear the man go "Oh Julia Roberts!" as though it had just come to him. Twas funny at the time.

[mominator]

Posted: 6/21/06 at 11:24am

I was at the stage door after "Faith Healer" Ralph Fiennes comes out and is signing. After he signs my Playbill, a woman and her husband from behind me ask "Who is that?" I answer them, then she asks "Who is he?" A bit taken aback I again answer her, with a very blank look she says "Oh.... honey take his picture any ways..."
Thinking about it I still get QWERT moments.

[Gypsy2]

Posted: 6/23/06 at 1:57pm

Three from Sweeney Todd, before the curtain even went up.

"Well, I don't think we're close enough." (sarcastic)

--

"Do they know the curtain is ripped?"

--

When I sat in the Mezzanine, a friend was convinced she would need binoculars, so she was peering through them, before the curtain even went up. And kept freaking out whenever she was people moving through the cracks. "They're not supposed to be onstage! People can see them!" I...didn't know how to respond.