Hilarious Comments Overheard By Tourists and Audience Members — Page 64

This girl I talked to said:

"I have tickets to go to LEGALLY BLONDE on Broadway. I heard it's amazing. I can't wait to see Reese Witherspoon sing!"

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At the Stage Door of Spring Awakening:

*while Jonathan Groff is graciously signing my program*
Girl #1: So, it looked like you and John were having a bit more than fun during "Touch Me". Was that why Michele was laughing?
Jonathan: What?
Girl #2: You and Moritz were like, groping eachother and stuff. Michele was laughing.
Jonathan: Miche-Oh! *nervous laughter* Well, her name is Lea. Lea Michele, and I don't really know what she was laughing about, thats part of the show.
Girls: Oh.
Me: *sigh*

This is nothing compared to everyone else's, but I'll share it anyway. This was like a few years ago before the RENT movie crase, and this older couple (probably in their 70's) were in line at the TKTS booth.

Man: "Ooooo, lets go see that RENT show. It sounds great."
Woman: "Yeah, especially all the sex!"

anakela ~ I'm 99% sure you're right. I remember reading about it in an article when Wicked was first starting.

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Maybe California was just some kind of rendezvous place for the families before they actually went to Jamaica? Just guessing.

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bumpity

I've got some:

1. On the TKTS booth with my mother - the two of us were talking about shows and obviously seemed pretty knowledgable about NY, so a woman approached us and asked, "Excuse me, do you know where Green-Witch Village is?" We corrected her and helped her out, and she was really very sweet. Clueless but sweet.

2. On line at TKTS last summer- A woman was in line with her husband trying to decide which show to go see. The woman said, "Okay, my first choice is Wicked, but if they don't have that, I guess we could go see Jersey Boys." I politely introduced myself and told her that both shows were currently sold out and suggested Spelling Bee. They seemed really interested until the got online and bought tickets for Mamma Mia.

3. I was at Frost/Nixon and got into a conversation with a very nice woman who saw Grey Gardens the week before and absolutely hated it. She said, "And the second act was so boring! I leaned over to my husband and said 'next she'll be singing about her corn!' And then she did!" Now I enjoyed Grey Gardens, but I find this hilarious. :)

Two at today's Grey Gardens matinee...

1.) Which one was Katrina Eversaul?
2.) That wasn't Angela Lansbury?!?

Aw, I didn't notice that!

PS: Where were you sitting? Could you have been the girl sitting next to me?

At Wicked in Chicago...

Young Girl: Sooo..what's this show about mom...?
Mom:I think it has something to do with how Dorothy went to Oz...

Oh, I have some from when I went to the OBC Spelling Bee reunion in L.A!
It was after the matinee, and everyone was filing out of the theater, and there were these woman next to me who were around 60 years old.

Woman 1: Whoo, I sure am tired. No stops on the way home.
Woman 2: Oh, but we have to stop at the store. That song about the little boy's manpart reminded me. I have to stop at Victoria's Secret. I need some new panties for my anniversary.

Seriously. It was kind of disgusting.

And then on the same day, there were these other older women watching people sign up to be the audience spellers.
Woman 1: Wait...I thought this was a play or a musical or something...
Woman 2: Maybe they just pick random people and stick them on stage and make them sing letters, and then the person who sings and spells best wins. It must be a contest, only with singing people. Like American Idol, but with spelling. Do you want to sign up?
Woman 1: No, I don't want to sing in front of all these people. I certainly hope these people can carry a tune. Or else they'll embarrass themselves.

Yes. Spelling Bee caused quite a bit of confusion here in L.A. I can't tell you how many times that day I heard "Wait. This is a musical?!" and "Why on earth are they hosting a bee for Putnam County in the middle of L.A?"

A couple more...

Thursday night getting off the Q train at 42nd to grab dinner and go see Xanadu. Group of girls trying to be oh-so-sophisticated in the city by themselves:
Girl A: *starts to get on the train*
Girl B: No. We don't take this train. See? It's yellow. Like butter. We need red like a cherry.
(Completely ignoring the fact that the signs with the RED numbers on them also had the word EXIT on them with an arrow.)

Last night before The Year of Magical Thinking. The group of two couples in fromt of us were looking at the show listings in the back of their Playbills.
Man 1: There's A Chorus Line. That's supposed to be good. Just like the original only with younger kids.
Woman 1: *looking at her Playbill which is open to the pages that start with Spamalot* Where do you see A Chorus Line? It's not listed in mine.
Man 2: It starts with A dear.
Woman 1: *still not turning pages* I think they messed mine up. I don't have it.
Woman 2: It's on the first page.
Woman 1: *flips to the FRONT of her Playbill* It's not here. *flips back to the Spamalot page.
Man 1: *finally reaches across his wife (Woman 2) and turns the page back himself*
Woman 1: Oh. There it is!
Man 2 (her husband I assume): *muttering under his breath* Good God...

My thoughts exactly. It was all I could do to get my composure back before the play started.

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I have some really terrible ones from my "friends." They've been known to say some incredibly stupid things. Here's some of the more memorable ones:

*At Barnes and Noble, in the music section.
I picked up a copy of The Last Five Years and said "Oh, I love this show!!!" My friend asked me what it was about, so I tried to explain to her how it's about a relationship, and Cathy's story is told in reverse while Jamie's is told from start to finish. My friend then gives this brilliant comment:

"But how can you understand what she's saying if all her songs are backwards? And how does she learn to sing all the words backwards?"
WOW.

A few minutes later, I picked up a copy of How To Succeed and I mentioned that one of my friends had starred in a school production of it. My little friend then takes the c.d, analyzes it for a minute, and then turns to me and asks (in a completely awe-stricken voice):
"Oh my god, you're friends with Matthew Broderick?!?!"
Sarcastically, I replied that yes, Matthew Broderick IS my friend, and sometimes he even lets me babysit for his kid when he and Sarah are in L.A.
Sadly, she believed me.

And here's the absolute WORST comment from another "friend" of mine. She's absolutely obsessed with the Rent movie (not the show though. Just the movie. GOD.), and so she turns to me and says:
My friend: I don't understand why the people were letting themselves die though. They kept complaining about dying, and I was like, why?
Me: Um. They have AIDS. What do you mean WHY were they LETTING themselves die? When you have AIDS, you die.
My friend: No, you can take medicine to cure it.
Me: NO you can't. AIDS isn't curable. There's no cure.
My friend: Yes there is! I remember reading in health class that you can take a pill and your AIDS goes away. I guess the people in the movie were just making a statement about STDs or something. "

I gave up after that. There's really no arguing with her once she's decided that she's right about something.
Of course, this is coming from the same girl who told me that she wanted to go see the OBC of Wicked in New York this summer. When I told her that they had been gone now for a VERY long time, she replied by saying:
"WHAT?! NO!!! Why did they leave?! I thought all the people stayed until the show closed! How can they have different people?!"
Oh God. I can't even stand talking to these people.