The Five Best Sondheim Rhymes — Page 2

madbrian beat me to it!

I love the rhymes that don't draw attention to themselves immediately. It wasn't until the 3rd or 4th listen that I could really appreciate why I found this song so hilarious.

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Some of these have already been cited, but are worth repeating.

1) A shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd

2) An imitation Hitler but with littler charm

3) Just remembering you had an 'and," when you're back to 'or,'
Makes the 'or' meand more than it did before.

4) Fredrik:

She loves my voice, my walk, my mustache
The cigar in fact that I'm smoking
She'll watch me puff until it's just ash
Then she'll save the cigar butt.

Desiree:

Bizarre, but
You're joking.

5) BRITISH ADMIRAL

Her Majesty considers the arrangements to be tentative
Until we ship a proper diplomatic representative.
We don't foresee that you will be the least bit
argumentative,
So please ignore the man-of-war we brought as a
preventative.

(explosion)

RECITER

Yes, please ignore the man-of-war
That's anchored rather near the shore,
It's nothing but a metaphor
That acts as a preventative.

I can't believe nobody here pointed out:

I SORT OF HATE TO ASK IT
BUT DO YOU HAVE A BASKET?

Another (cut) from Follies:

She sits at The Ritz
With her splits of Mumm's
And starts to pine for a stein
With her Village chums,
But with her Schlitz in her mitts
Down in Fitzroy's bar,
She thinks of The Ritz, oh
It's so schizo.

Could I leave you?
Yes.
Will I leave you?
Will I leave you?
Guess!

Buddy's blues, after first I fell in love with a COMPANY recording, never having read the lyrics with it, it took many moons before I realized that "Goliath" was in there. Now it's all I hear and kills me everytime.


One of my favorite lyrics in all of INTO THE WOODS is during the transition towards the end of the prologue, going in to the "Into the Woods" theme, with the Baker's wife completing the list with "The haaaaaair!" as Cinderella and the Baker come in over her.

Also in ITW, the line "Where's the cheesecloth?" for some odd reason always makes me laugh and crushes my heart. Is this noted in the libretto as a lyric or line of dialogue? I have no libretto handy. Either way, I feel quite certain Sondheim wrote it. Big minutia.

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I too love rhymes like "suicide" and "you aside".

Although not Sondheim, I am crazy about the lyrics of "I'll Never Fall In Love Again":

What do you do when you kiss a guy,
you get enough germs to catch pneumonia
and after you do, he'll never phone ya

I'm glad somebody mentioned Assassins! I have plenty of favorites from other shows that were already mentioned, but IMHO the lyrics to Assassins are some of his best.

Some personal favorites:

"How could you do it, Johnny,
Calling it a cause?
You left a legacy
Of butchery
And treason we
Took eagerly,
And thought you'd get applause."

and, albeit a non-rhyme:

"if you can't do what you want to/then you do the things you can"

Updated On: 7/22/11 at 01:16 PM

uncageg already posted my favorite.

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No one's posted the delightfully dirty:

CP:
If it were not for the thicket

RP:
A thicket's no trick. Is it thick?

CP:
It's the thickest

RP:
The quickest is pick it apart with a stick

CP:
Yes, but even one prick, it's my thing about blood

RP:
Well it's sick

CP:
It's no sicker than your thing with dwarves

RP:
Dwarves?

CP:
Dwarves!

RP:
Dwarves are very upsetting.

Oh God.

I played Rapunzel's Prince.

Shame. Shame on me.

Surprised I haven't seen this one yet...

You'll leave him a clue:
For example, a shoe.
And then see what he'll do.

Now it's he and not you
Who is stuck with a shoe,
In a stew, in the goo,
And you've learned something, too,
Something you never knew,
On the steps of the palace.