The Five Best Sondheim Rhymes

[chanel]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 10:41am

According to Michael Musto

[chanel]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 10:42am

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/2011/07/the_five_best_s_1.php

[madbrian]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 10:49am

My all-time favorite rhyme comes not from Sondheim, but from 1776:

"I cannot write with any style or proper etiquette,
I don't know a participle from a predicate,
I am just a simple cobbler from Connecticut"

[jpbran]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 10:55am

"...while her withers wither with her" from Into the Woods has always both impressed and made me laugh.

[givesmevoice]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:00am

This thread already has everything I love: a completely random shout-out to 1776 and the brilliant "we've no time to sit and dither while her withers wither with her."

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:09am

One that consistently leaves me shaking my head in amazement is from "Please Hello" from PACIFIC OVERTURES:

AMERICAN ADMIRAL
But we bring many recent invention --
Kerosene and cement and a grain elevator,
A machine you can rent called a train

ABE
Maybe later!

[uncageg]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:12am

Let the moment go
Don't forget it for a moment though
Just remembering you had an "and"
When you're back to "or"
Makes the "or" mean more
Than it did before
Now I understand
And it's time to leave the woods.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:17am

From "Ah, but Underneath," I've always admired the dexterity of:

In the depths of her interior
Were fears she was inferior.
And something even eerier.
But no one dared to query her superior exterior.

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:18am

"You see, the problem with poet is how do you it's deceased? Try the priest."

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:20am

Not a particularly clever rhyme, but one that always makes me laugh out loud is from "Assassins":

I saw right away he was insane--
Oh, this is my husband, we're from Maine

[givesmevoice]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:20am

growl, Please Hello is filled with some great rhymes. That song never ceases to blow my mind when I listen to it. The British Admiral's verses are particularly impressive:

"I think
Her letters do contain a few proposals to your Emperor
Which if, of course, he won't endorse, will put in her in a temper or,
More happily, should he agree, will serve to keep her placid, or
At least till I am followed by a permanent ambassador."


And then of course there's

"Yes, please ignore the man-of-war
That's anchored rather near the shore,
It's nothing but a metaphor
That acts as a preventative."

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:27am

Absolute favorite of all time:

Wear your hair down and a flower
Don't use make-up. Dress in white
She'll grow older by the hour
And be hopelessly shattered by Saturday night.

I still gasp every time I hear it.

[Craig]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:29am

How gratifying for once to know / That those above will serve those down below!

The rhyme might be "easy" but the double entendre and deep meaning behind it makes it my fave.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:30am

"Armfeldt"/"charm felt" always floors me, too.

[Owen22]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:34am

Please...THIS is the greatest.

IN VIEW OF HER PENCHANT
FOR SOMETHING ROMANTIC
DESADE IS TOO TRENCHANT
AND DICKENS TOO FRANTIC
AND STENDHAL WOULD RUIN
THE PLAN OF ATTACK
AS THERE ISN'T MUCH BLUE IN
"THE RED AND THE BLACK"

DE MAUPASSANT'S CANDOR
WOULD CAUSE HER DISMAY
THE BRONTES ARE GRANDER
BUT NOT VERY GAY
HER TASTE IS MUCH BLANDER
I'M SORRY TO SAY
BUT IS HANS CHRISTIAN ANDER-
SON EVERY RISQUE?
WHICH ELIMINATES "A"...

"Now" from A LITTLE NIGHT MUSIC

The thing about Sondehim is, in his best lyrics, he seems to always pick the right words. He makes it seem the right word just happens to be the rhyming word. Its amazing.
Updated On: 7/21/11 at 11:34 AM

[best12bars]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:36am

For Sondheim, I've always been caught up in the aliteration of this one:

It's a very short road
From the pinch and the punch
To the paunch and the pouch and the pension
It's a very short road
To the ten thousandth lunch
And the belch and the grouch and the sigh


And one "non-Sondheim" on a tangent ... from the movie musical "Scrooge" by Leslie Bricusse. It's from "I Hate People," sung by Albert Finney:

Life is full of cretinous wretches
Earning what their sweatiness fetches
Empty minds whose pettiness stretches
Further than I can see.

Little wonder
I Hate People
And I don't care if they hate me!

[GottaHaveAGimmick]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:44am

The hip bath/about that hip bath/
How can you slip and trip into a hip bath?

Just love it!

[sondheimfan2]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:44am

This one always makes me smile:

What would we do without you?
How would we ever get through?
Should there be a marital squabble,
Available Bob'll
Be there with the glue.

[GlindatheGood22]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:47am

I do think that Now is Sondheim's best in terms of wordplay, but I also like:

"Guess what.
An invitation.
Guess who.
Begins with an A.
Armfeldt-
is that a relation to the decrepit Desiree?"

"No one dared to query her superior exterior."

"With riotous laughter
we quietly suffer
the season in town
which is reason enough for a-"

And I will never get over the fact that the man was able to rhyme "personable" with "coercin' a bull."

[The Josh]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:49am

One I've always enjoyed, though I can't decide if it's brilliant or just plain silly, is from A Little Night Music:

No, not even figs, raisins!
Ah, liaisons!

[broadwaybabytn]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 11:54am

I love:

Petra, how too exciting!
Just when I need it!
Petra, such elegant writing,
So chic you hardly can read it!
What do you think?
Who can it be?
Even the ink--
No, here, let me...
"Your presence"--just think of it, Petra!
"Is kindly"--it's at a chateau!
"Requested"--etcet'ra, etcet'ra,
"Madame Leonora Armf--" Oh, no!
A weekend in the country--
We're invited?
What a horrible plot!
A weekend in the country--
I'm excited!
No, you're not.

[SporkGoddess]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 12:25pm

Pretty much all of "The Miller's Son."

"Sweeney wishes the world away.
Sweeney's weeping for yesterday.
Hugging the blade, waiting the years
Sweeney heard music that nobody hears"

It's simple but elegant, I think.

And I don't really like "Ladies in Their Sensitivities," but this part has some great rhymes and alliteration:

"Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord!
Have a fragile sensibility.
When a girl's emergent,
Probably, it's urgent,
You refer to her gentility, my lord!
Personal disorder cannot be ignored
Given their gentile proclivities,
Meaning no offenses
It happens they resense it
Ladies in their sensitivities, my lord!"

Updated On: 7/21/11 at 12:25 PM

[SeanMartin]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 12:31pm

Let's face it: even his worst discarded sketch is better than most these days. It's almost a crying shame we probably wont hear anything new from him...

[Roscoe]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 12:36pm

If one is fun
You might has well have two
And if you like two
Why not a few
Why not a slew more?

If you've got a little, why not a lot?
Add a bit and it'll get to be an oodle.
Every jot and tittle adds to the pot.
Soon you've got the kit as well as the caboodle.

Never say when, never stop at plenty
If it's gonna rain let it pour.
Happy with ten, happier with twenty
If you like a penny, wouldn't you like many much more?

Or does that sound too greedy?

[madbrian]

Posted: 7/21/11 at 1:03pm

FREDRIK:
She loves my voice, my walk, my mustache,
The cigar, in fact, that I'm smoking.
She'll watch me puff until it's just ash,
Then she'll save the cigar butt.

DESIREE:
Bizarre, but
You're joking.

FREDRIK:
She dotes on--

DESIREE:
Your dimple.

FREDRIK:
My snoring.

DESIREE:
How dear.

FREDRIK:
The point is, she's really simple.

DESIREE:
Yes, that much seems clear.