The Five Worst Kinds of Broadway Board Commenters- Page 5

[dramamama611]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 10:27am

Indeed.

[Jane2]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 10:39am

I'mguilty of that because sometimes a post is so funny, or clever, (Namo) that I just have to say lol .

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 12:12pm

And this shouldn't be a big deal, but something that has always annoyed me are posts that start with "am I the only one that ____?" I have to restrain myself EVERY time from posting something along the lines of "Yes, you are the only one on this freakin' planet that _______." I know it shouldn't bother me, but....

This bugs me, too! Every time I see it, I want to write, "Yes, you are the ONLY person EVER to have this generic thought." Because it's almost always generic, isn't it?

[dramamama611]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 12:43pm

Along the same line:

Has anybody seen (the show) ________________ ?

I always think: No. No one. It's been embarrassing having the actors perform to an empty house.

I REALIZE the person means: has anyone on the boards seen the show?-- but it always makes me want to be snarky.

I answered that on one person's thread....then wrote a note apologizing for the snark on the same post. The op didn't get it.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 12:50pm

"Why did ________ close?"

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 1:31pm

Why do birds sing so gay?

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 1:38pm

I love the ones who post "reviews" for shows they've seen by saying things like this:

Saw ______ last night. There were twelve musicians in the pit. They kept the lyrics on the second verse from the last revival. The ingenue wore a red wig. I noticed they skipped the last part of the monologue before the finale. I waited for them to sign, but one of the leads never came out.

That's not a review, that's an Excel spreadsheet with a list of random facts. What kind of "adding machine" thinks that way?

Updated On: 8/6/12 at 01:38 PM

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 2:30pm

My favorite reviews are these-

I saw NICE WORK last night. The how started late which meant that we were at the stage door until around midnight. Kelli came right out an was sooooooooo sweet but Matthew took forever. He took pictures with people but didn't smile. His signature looks like a four year olds. Judy Kaye signed her name and it's very legible and was really nice. Highly recommended!!

[Wynbish]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 3:26pm

"When is _____ gonna close?"
"OMG, why do you want those people unemployed?"

"So, what's the next show to close?"
"OMG, why so negative?"

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 3:57pm

"So that means ______ is going into that theatre next, right?"

[Wynbish]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 4:07pm

"I know (New member) in real life and you people are really mean to him. He will not be back. (Until tomorrow morning)"

"This is MY thread, mmkay?"

[GavestonPS]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 8:15pm

"Who will win the Tony Award in 2032?"

[Wynbish]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 8:17pm

I don't care if the casting news just came out seven minutes ago, she is going to win her a Tony!

[GavestonPS]

Posted: 8/5/12 at 8:21pm

I'mguilty of that because sometimes a post is so funny, or clever, (Namo) that I just have to say lol .

Yes. I think the short laudatory posts are a consequence of this board having no "like" or "thank you" button. If one wants to acknowledge something amusing or insightful, a full post is the only way.

Updated On: 8/5/12 at 08:21 PM

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 8/6/12 at 3:16pm

"Well, surprise, surprise, here they are again, older, but certainly no wiser. Obnoxious, boorish, (and proud of being both), completely unaware of where to draw the line, and, unbeknownst to themselves, staggeringly unfunny, they fancy themselves the height of wit, while being strictly the bottom of the barrel."

In my defense, I'm only a bottom some of the time.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 8/6/12 at 3:31pm

And then there's #11: Maude

[Brian07663NJ]

Posted: 8/6/12 at 3:42pm

"I found something out today that is highly confidential information and when you hear you are going to crap yourself."

Seriously...? You are that important that you know?

[dramamama611]

Posted: 8/6/12 at 3:49pm

Posters that start LIST threads...we have two of them in the most recent title: Songs & Shows/Performers.

These threads don't start a discussion. (Although often start criticism.)

[ChiChi]

Posted: 8/7/12 at 12:36pm

#8323 - The way people respond to someone who has died. As if they knew them personally and making it as cheesy and nauseating as possible.

"Oh poor Paul. I've known him ever since I met him one time in 1983 when he was dancing in Cats. We were very close. Thanks for the dancing Paul and love to Susan! He showed me a picture of her which made her and I life long friends forever. 'Let me know if you need anything Sue!'"

And then they proceed to plaster the rest of the page with twelve "R.I.P." making it into a halloween decoration.

Updated On: 8/7/12 at 12:36 PM

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 8/7/12 at 12:48pm

"Here's a detailed, 10-paragraph review of a show I saw in 1972, including exactly how I felt in each moment and which fresnels were used which dance number."

Is it? Oh, okay.

[ghostlight2]

Posted: 8/7/12 at 12:52pm

"fresnels"???

Wow.

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/7/12 at 12:59pm

I remember Betty Fresnels.

I met her once for five seconds in 1843, and we've been lifelong friends since then. So don't you jealous haters have sour grapes about not knowing anybody but your cat.

Haters.

"Ah, yes, I remember it well."

And I DO remember it, just because you can't recall what you ate for breakfast this morning because you're completely stupid and have the memory of a clothespin.

Haters.

[ChiChi]

Posted: 8/7/12 at 1:00pm

LOL!!! YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS 12 BARS!

[best12bars]

Posted: 8/7/12 at 1:03pm

#28 - People who type in all-caps.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 8/7/12 at 1:06pm

#69

People who are all like "Oh look at me! I can type and I use a message board! Oh, I'm all so like totally amazing! I type 40 CWPM and I can use photoshop! Look at me while I write about stuff!"