I was very disappointed to see that the "Best Insults" thread isn't about insults from plays or musicals. So - some of your favorites?
I think I'm going with, "If you existed, I'd divorce you."
You're about as sexy as a wet cardboard box..
Just read "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" No need to go further.
BEAN BAG!
"Leave! Get out! Go be someone else's parasite!" --- Freddie to Florence in the musical CHESS.
"Best Friends" from The Wild Party
"She almost looks human- it must be the lighting."
Anne: "She's ravishingly beautiful"
Frederick: "Make up"!
Speaking of Desiree in "Night Music"
"She's a tight c**t wrapped around ambition." from Speed-the-Plow. I can't think of anything that comes close, but Roma's legendary tirade against Williamson ("Whoever told you you could work with men?... You stupid ****ing c**t... You fairy...") is up there in the Mamet canon, but it's not as clever a moment of wordplay.
Not from Broadway, but had to mention this one. I saw a commercial where one old lady told another old lady, "May your marinara sauce never cling to your pasta!" LOLOLOLOLOL I laughed so hard after seeing that. Like I said, in no way is this from anything associated with Broadway. Definitely up there in the best insults ever though.
^
I believe that was from The Golden Girls, between Sophia and her sister Angela.
But if you could see her through my eyes... she wouldn't look Jewish at all!
It may have been in a commercial promoting The Golden Girls, but I definitely didn't see it on there because you couldn't pay me to watch that show.
Leading Actor Joined: 5/20/11
"Why don't you light your tampon on fire and blow your box apart, because it's the only bang you're ever going to get, sweeheart."
Ah, PRISCILLA
I loved that line from Priscilla and couldn't remember it word-for-word. Thanks for posting it!
I won't say it's my absolute favorite, but it's the only one I can think of at the moment:
"You want to act like a tool? Then go sleep in the shed." (Addams Family)
Updated On: 11/4/12 at 10:53 PM
Stand-by Joined: 4/4/11
Glinda: Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and all together quite impossible to describe.
Elphaba: ......... Blonde.
Haha, Wicked.
The entirety of You Must Meet My Wife from A Little Night Music on Desiree's end.
"Does your cousin dance?" "Like a drunk Chita Rivera." -- In the Heights.
"And I bet your milkshake brings ALL the boys to the yard." -- Peter and the Starcatcher.
If you try to shag my husband while I'm still alive, I'll shove The Art of Motorcycle maintenance up your rancid little c--t, there's a good dear.
Tom Stoppard's Rock N Roll.
"Not on your salary–not on an Associate Professor's salary!"- Martha to George, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Swing Joined: 2/24/11
Favorite Insult comes from A Midsummer Night's Dream
Hermia to Helena: You juggler! You canker-blossom!
Peter and the Starcatchers has a great blink and you'll miss it insult:
"He smelt like smelt."
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