BURLESQUE: Thoughts?- Page 2

[JP2]

Posted: 11/26/10 at 4:03am

The problem with Cher's second number was that it felt forced. If she had just broken out into song it would have felt more natural. Instead, they took the Glee approach of "HEY GUYS I'D LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I AM ABOUT TO SING A SONG THAT REPRESENTS HOW I AM CURRENTLY FEELING.. SEE? IT'S REALISTIC!!!"

Either way, I've already seen this film twice. Kinda obsessed.

[songanddanceman2]

Posted: 11/26/10 at 5:52am

Some of my fave review quotes.

"Cher gets to be a den mother, fag hag and performer all in one. Aguilera wears outrageous costumes and is gifted with shoes that look like they ran away from the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Gay men everywhere will rejoice."

"Thanks to Burlesque, we now have the answer to the question: "Which film ended the film careers of both Christina Aguilera and Cher?"

"Brassy, bombastic and cheerfully vulgar...like a Las Vegas casino show on steroids--a piece of glitzy trash that presumably aims to be campy fun but fails miserably to achieve even that low ambition. "

"The choicest dialogue in Burlesque provokes the sort of laughter that other, intentionally funny films only dream of generating."

"There's a chance you'll like the film. Perhaps if you're Christina Aguilera's mom or the spirit of Sonny Bono reincarnated as a person who can tolerate awful movies."

"Mostly tries to copy Moulin Rouge and Chicago, but comes closer to recalling Mariah Carey's Glitter. "

"At least Aguilera's singing makes up for some of the rest of the film's misgivings. If only her acting was on par, and the film hadn't jumped headfirst into a tub of clichés."

"There isn't an original thought in the entire film. If the script stinks, nothing or no one can save the movie. "

"This cast is forced to utter some of the most awful, cliched lines ever spoken on celluloid. I'd repeat some of them here, but I'm suffering from a sudden case of writer's block."

"We've seen these kinds of clubs before, usually with guys dressed up as Madonna, Barbra, Cher -- wait, there's the guy doing Cher now. In a sailor hat and tights. Oh dear God ... it actually IS Cher."

"Every Thanksgiving needs a turkey, and this year's comes wrapped in a lacy bustier. "

"A movie that quickly proves achingly dull, with none of the madness, verve or talent of Paul Verhoeven's "Showgirls" or even the workmanlike energy of Rob Marshall's "Chicago."

"A generic, sanitized version of Showgirls that blatantly plagiarizes dozens of far superior musicals"

"Makes one long for its NC-17-rated forefather, 1995's Showgirls. "

"The whole thing's so safe, so straight, so completely anti-fabulous it could put Elton John in gray flannel. "

"All the jiggly bosoms, skimpy outfits, and garish songs can't disguise the fact that this picture is utterly brain dead...only things missing here are some type of cancer scare, vampires, and a cameo by Liam Neeson. "

"I's not interesting enough to be a disaster. "

"if I seem fixated on appearances here, what can I tell you; there isn't much else here on which to fixate one's attention"

"Bland Burlesque isn't even awful enough to qualify as a so-bad-it's-good guilty pleasure. Oh well. "

"A terrible film that will delight nearly everyone who sees it"

[nygrl232]

Posted: 11/26/10 at 7:08am

Have seen only clips, but it just looks like they tacked on a rhetorical storyline to go before and in between Xstina music videos.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 11/26/10 at 9:34am

I don't think anyone went to the film expecting Sophie's Choice. Yes, there were BLATANT problems. It always makes me wonder how in the world seasoned filmmakers can sit back, look at a film and think, "Okay, great!" when those with no experience, such as myself, see the huge holes. None of the songs in the film were, "I am feel ______. Cue the music." They were all performances, so Tess just breaking into song wouldn't have worked either. It should have just been cut or at least made an ACTUAL performance in front of the audience. That would have been SLIGHTLY less painful, I think.

All that said, the people in our theatre LOVED it.

[Q]

Posted: 11/26/10 at 10:01am

"Gay men everywhere will rejoice."

Oh, really?

[DAME]

Posted: 11/26/10 at 1:40pm

Yep.. it was a trashy and bad film. But people in the theater LOVED it.. and I had a great time.

[JP2]

Posted: 11/26/10 at 7:14pm

Same here!

[pushdabutton]

Posted: 11/28/10 at 11:42pm

I saw Burlesque today and was very disappointed. For a movie that was only 1 hour and 40 minutes long, it seemed endless.

[spiderdj82]

Posted: 11/28/10 at 11:49pm

I agree that it seemed like it lasted a lot longer than it did, but I had fun. Was it a great movie? No! Was it entertaining? Yes. Plus, no one can deny that Christina has one hell of a voice. I mean, dayum!

[Kalimba]

Posted: 11/29/10 at 7:58am

Cher annoys the hell out of me, hence I won't be seeing this piece of crap.

[DAME]

Posted: 11/29/10 at 11:48am

Who the **** asked you? You annoy the hell out of me.. therefore I will take a piece of crap on you.

[EVIE]

Posted: 11/29/10 at 1:45pm

The only part I truly enjoyed was Cher's first number with the girls. Hated Xtina's character!

[theaternut]

Posted: 11/29/10 at 2:09pm

Went with friends. Had a fun time.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 11/29/10 at 2:59pm

I did lean over to my wife and ask if we'd been in the theatre for 4 hours. lol

[mlsheehan]

Posted: 11/29/10 at 3:51pm

As I said on the main board thread, I loved it. Was it deep or meaningful? Absolutely not. Was it the best movie I've seen? No.

But I had a hoot. I laughed and smiled all the way through the movie. I enjoyed Christina's numbers a lot. I loved Stanley Tucci's character a whole lot. I loved looking at Cam's beutiful blue eyes (and other attributes).

I thought it was a glossy, good time.

[Bettyboy72]

Posted: 11/29/10 at 6:54pm

Mediocre at best. I kept looking at my watch. WAY TOO MUCH XTina singing. They couldn't give Bell or Hough a song-their characters had a brief arc. Alan Cumming was squandered. Peter Gallagher got more screentime than Cummings-a travesty.

I loved Cher's second song but it made no sense at all in the film.

[Luscious]

Posted: 11/29/10 at 8:14pm

Clichéd, predictable, some cringe-worthy dialogue, lots of music, one great line, and two superstar performances. LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT! If you're a Cher and/or Christina fan, ignore the critics and sourpusses and go have a fun time!

Updated On: 11/29/10 at 08:14 PM

[Chrysanthemum62001]

Posted: 11/30/10 at 1:56am

Oooh, Kristen Bell was delicious!

[Tom1071]

Posted: 11/30/10 at 2:31pm

It was paint-by-numbers story telling...one that we have all seen and heard before...pieced together with some high-glitz production numbers. I LOVED EVERY MINUTE OF IT!

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 11/30/10 at 3:25pm

Since this film was announced, I couldn't seem to muster any enthusiasm for it, though I couldn't really put my finger on the reason why. Then I saw the name "Steve Antin" attached to it and it all made sense. Ugh. He and his sister make my skin crawl. It's "Pussycat Dolls: The Movie!". If I see it, it will be because my husband makes me Netflix it.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 11/30/10 at 3:28pm

Luscious, what was the one great line?

[Luscious]

Posted: 11/30/10 at 8:49pm

****** SPOILER ALERT ******

Luscious, what was the one great line?

Delivered by Stanley Tucci's character, Sean...
"John. That was my mother's name."

It was the way it was delivered. It just struck me and my friend as very funny. We had the giggles for several minutes afterward. It was my favorite line in the movie.

[louisamayfoster]

Posted: 12/5/10 at 11:51pm

Saw this tonight with a few girl friends and we all loved it! Yes, it falls in with the theory that there are only so many stories to tell, but it tells it's story with luscious costumes, make-up, music and gorgeous bodies. Christina's vocals gave me chills and other than "Hurt" I can't say I'm (was)that big a fan. I hope this film renews some interest in her great talent. Cher was a delight - expected a sourpuss for some reason, but she was tender and spunky. GREAT fun!

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 12/5/10 at 11:55pm

I liked the musical numbers better when they were called "Chicago" but I still thought it was fun.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 12/6/10 at 12:53am

Cher said she had to pass up Mammia Mia because of a busy schedule. I am assuming she would have played Tonya? That would have made me have a moviegasm!