Thanks to iflit and bluemoon and cabarethed and everyone who shared in this thread. I was relieved to come back from lunch and not see anyone else's deceased loved ones violated.
The words "assisted suicide" and "euthenasia" are part of the problem. Phrases like that become heavy with the burden of meanings layered on top of them by people who disapprove. The words themselves end up sounding "bad." But you never feel that you are in the process of "euthenizing" or "assisting suicide." Those phrases have nothing to do with your reality.
The real situation is simultaneously much smaller and much larger: smaller in that it's not about other people; it just about someone you love who is no longer able to laugh or cry or sing or run or maybe eat or drink. You know that person's spirit is there, but the body is shutting down, a little more each day, each hour, each moment. Larger in that you know it is big; however you behave will be your last gift to someone you love.
My own mother made all her own decisions pertaining the treatment and cessation of treatment of her ovarian cancer, something papalovesmambo didn't even bother to ask before unconscionably accusing me of "killing" her. (As if anyone could!) My mother was inspired in her choices by the dignified actions of Audrey Hepburn and Jackie Onassis, whose recent deaths had occasioned much discussion in the media and among the cancer support groups.
She died in a peaceful atmosphere, receiving visits by her husband, her children, her friends, her Tuesday-night theatergoing group, even my dog, who curled up like a doughnut at the foot of her bed and kept watch. It was a death with peace and dignity I wish for all of us.
