How To Not Be Creepy At Stage Door- Page 2

Posted: 10/26/10 at 4:22pm

Wait is it rude to follow them home to compliment them in the show you JUST saw or only an old show?

[SNAFU]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 4:27pm

The heck with touching them, I'm too busy touching myself at the stage door!

[TheatreFan4]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 4:28pm

I don't see what's wrong with stage dooring, but yes there are people who are creepy about it and he is one of them...

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 4:51pm

What's that guy's BWW username?

[danmag]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 4:59pm

I followed Aaron Tveit home after a performance.

We've been together ever since.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 5:03pm

I touched Anthony LaPaglia's leather-clad elbow after a performance of View from the Bridge. Why? Because it was Anthony LaPaglia's elbow. And it was in leather.

WindyCityActor would understand.

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 5:04pm

I masturbated onto Cheyenne Jackson's coat once. He was really patient about it - I think he gets that a lot.

[GlindatheGood22]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 5:29pm

As I'm getting older I find that stagedooring is becoming less and less appealing. It's not because the fans are annoying or anything. It's just not that fun anymore. I didn't have to "meet Frasier" to enjoy La Cage.

[gvendo2005]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 6:40pm

Revised version of what I call 'stage door etiquette':

Stage dooring is a unique experience that all theater fans (not just those who love musicals) may have the pleasure of sharing if they're lucky. It is a privilege. Not a right. It's a workday for these people; how would you feel if some jamoke approached you after work and asked for your autograph and yammered on and on about how much they loved the data entry you did at your last job when you're tired, maybe stressed, likely trying to remember where the hell you parked your car? Be as considerate as they are being by even acknowledging you or something as small as "Hey, great show, man!" as they leave the building.

Here are some ground rules that make sense to me.

1. Do not refer to an actor by their character's name. There is such a thing as recognizing the difference between an actor and their part. This should go without saying. *casts an angry glare in the direction of Ted Neeley's fans*

2. For that matter, do not refer to them as if you are on a first name basis with them unless you actually are. "Mister," "Mrs." or "Miss [fill-in-the-blank]" is just fine. If they ask you to use their first name after actually approaching you and engaging you in conversation, or you already know them from previous shows, or you're a friend, relative, etc., that's different. Your parents always taught you (or should have) that if you don't know somebody, you should address them respectfully. Such described is the proper manner of addressing them respectfully.

3. I don't care if they're a celebrity, no fucking yelling. This is not Justin Bieber. You are not a fan girl or boy. This is theater, and one must attempt to maintain some modicum of decorum even if you've just walked out of Rock of Ages and had six women flash the cast and three drunks puke on your shoes. If you're trying to get their attention, wave, jump up and down, do something that doesn't involve high pitched squeals. And for Christ's sake don't rush the barricades! That's how people get hurt, likely the ones you're trying to obtain signatures from.

4. If you're in the unfortunate position of asking an actor if a fellow performer is exiting the venue (which is plausible, because not everybody looks like their head shot), don't be a moron about it. At least put on the appearance of understanding that the actor may not know the other performer that well or for that matter get along with them. Even if they do know them and happen to be beer buddies, they are not omnipresent and have no clue what anyone's plans are on a given day. If you must ask, with all of the above in mind, phrase the question politely, like so: "I'm not sure if you know, and I don't mean to be a bother, but is there a chance [such and such] is coming out today?" Or something along that line.

5. If you're going to compliment them, don't just say they did a good job. Remember a choice they made in the show (be it an ad-lib, a high note, a joke that got a big laugh, a dance number that got a nice hand, etc.), and compliment them on that. It's one thing to offer empty praise, and quite another to show them you were actually paying attention and didn't just view them as a face in the crowd suitable for signing your Playbill so as to increase its value on eBay.

6. If you're going to ask for an autograph or a picture, be prepared. If you want them to sign something specific, have it decided on and ready for signing. More to the point, even if they have their own writing utensil, bring a Sharpie, a pen, something, just in case, to get things done that much more quickly. If you're a crier in front of actors whose performance has affected you so much, don't lose your snot all over their coat when you go in for that hug, and have the Kleenex ready. If you're going to take a picture, have the camera or cell phone out, and make sure there's enough film or memory. Be composed and ready to make your request and get it fulfilled A.S.A.P.

7. Be considerate of their time. Tying in with what I said before the numerated rules, they're done with their job. They wanna go home for the night and relax, or have a quick drink at the bar, or get a nice dinner or something, or get some sleep. It is not a part of their contract for them to take pictures and sign autographs. They don't have to stop for you, and they did, so be considerate in return by not dragging the conversation out too long or going on and on about what theater means to you, or how they inspired you when you were a kid, etc., when you can sum that up in one sentence. Handle things expeditiously. Compliment them, have them sign your thing, take the picture, give them a capsule version of whatever life story you're imparting to them, thank them, and be on your merry way. Don't seem like you're wasting their time, intentionally or not.

TOP TIP FOR #7: If you need more time, and you notice people with kids, let them get ahead of you. Yeah, I said it. Let them get ahead of you. One thing everyone knows about kids is they get tired fast. And when they get tired, they get cranky. When they get cranky, the parents gotta move! It's a late enough night for most people as it is if you've been waiting long enough. You get a net gain of more time with a performer if you let them go first, and let the kids get pissed. Feeding their irritation with your own frustration at waiting so long is not tacitly encouraged, but can only help this endeavor.

8. If you're headed home, and you notice you're headed in the same direction as a performer you just conversed with, try not to look like you're stalking them. Let people get between you, especially on the busy streets and crosswalks and subway platforms of the city. The last thing you need is for the actor to recognize you the next time they come out the stage door if you're waiting with a friend, and have them point you out to security.

9. Speaking of "waiting with a friend," do not go to the stage door more than once if you see the same show with the same cast. If you're going alone, don't be the guy or gal who's seen at the stage door so often they know you by your first name, and not in the good way. Only actually go again if you're with someone who hasn't been to the show before, or if it's a new cast. One exception to this rule is if someone went on as an understudy. Get their autograph; they could always use a boost, considering they're nervous enough going on for the main performer as it is, and probably worried about how well they did.

10. Whatever you do, do not be this idiot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7whWfYnWMw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ofF8WRabhA

'Kay, punkin?

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 6:45pm

"*casts an angry glare in the direction of Ted Neeley's fans*"

Puh-leeze. Ted Neeley milks it.

[gvendo2005]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 6:48pm

Well, what would you rather do, humor them for twenty minutes or let them cause a riot when you don't come out because they think you're the Second Coming? (NOTE: The second actually happened at one performance I saw. It wasn't pleasant.)

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 6:51pm

I pinched Patti's ass after Saturdays show and told her "nice job in the show, sugar tits". She laughed and signed my Sunset Boulevard cd.
Updated On: 10/26/10 at 06:51 PM

[SNAFU]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 7:23pm

Jordan,you didn't let her catch you sniffing your fingers afterwards did you?

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 7:27pm

No, Stokes grabbed my hand after she left and started sucking on my fingers. Sherri said "Don't worry, he does that a lot". I was all like "ooooooook".

[dramamama611]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 7:45pm

To be fair, it sounds as if the stage door vids (at least the ones the OP posted) were made by someone with some problems. Whether they be social or mental or developmental issues, I could not say, but that is not an "ordinary" fan.

While it does bother me that 'stage dooring' is often tje highlight to attending b'way shows, remember, the actors don't have to subject themselves to it. My 13 year old dd really enjoys meeting the actors afterwards and I've been fairly impressed with how lovely so very many of them are.

[orangeskittles]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 7:46pm

It's a workday for these people; how would you feel if some jamoke approached you after work and asked for your autograph and yammered on and on about how much they loved the data entry you did at your last job when you're tired, maybe stressed, likely trying to remember where the hell you parked your car?

I always hate when this example is used. People who do data entry do not have to build a career using fanbases like performers do. And if their job ends when the curtain goes down, so does mine. Don't expect fans follow your career and buy solo CDs and concert tickets if you can't be bothered to give them a half-assed Sharpie scrawl on a playbill and a fake smile as they fawn over you with praise.


I'm totally on board with # 3 though. And don't everyone get on your high horses about Wicked fans, I walked out of the stagedoor at the Walter Kerr and was screamed at by people anticipating Elaine Stritch.

Updated On: 10/26/10 at 07:46 PM

[quizking101]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 7:47pm

Also, be wary of spurts of joy that may manifest as words.

Case & Point: When I stagedoored PROMISES, PROMISES on Flea Market Day, I was overtaken by the fact Kristin Chenoweth was standing inches from me. she made her rounds on my side of the barricade and as she was walking to the other side, my thought "I Love You, Kristen", manifested itself as words loud enough for her to hear. But instead of being creeped, she replied "I love you, too"....and I left pronto, giddy with joy the entire way back to 44th street,

[SNAFU]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 7:53pm

It's not the spurts of joy that manifest as words that I have to worry about while stage dooring! Its the ones that manifest as spurts of joy!

[BwayBoundJoe]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 8:51pm

I mean, is it really that bad to stage door and thank the actors for a great performance?

[BroadwayBound115]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 9:36pm

I think stage dooring is pretty harmless. Or WAS pretty harmless. People have been after performer's/athlete's/entertainer's autographs for years. It's too bad that there are the select few who have to ruin and distort the idea of stage dooring.

[kidbroadway2]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 10:41pm

anyone who needs etiquette lessons on stage dooring is socially inept. im sorry its really not that big of a deal.

[broadwayboy101]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 11:12pm

The only real rule is just to be polite and courteous. I've had a few conversations with some performers that started just because I called them Mr. or Ms.

[bwayphreak234]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 11:28pm

"Stage Dooring is part of being a musical theatre fan."

No it is not.

[Kalimba]

Posted: 10/26/10 at 11:58pm

Don't even get me started on the middle aged fan who literally pushed others out of the way so she could talk to a star of a recent Broadway show. It didn't matter that he was already talking to people, in her eyes she was more important than everyone else.

[Elphaba3]

Posted: 10/27/10 at 12:42am

I see nothing wrong with saying "great job" as long as you don't use a patronizing or sarcastic tone.

Something else I have to add is that if you're tall, please look around and be sensitive to the shorties. I'm very short (think Kristin Chenoweth) and there have been several times when I can been completely blocked by tall people. By tall, I mean over 6'. I know everyone wants to be up front, but the taller people will be seen even if they're a bit farther back, whereas the shorter people have no chance. I don't mean to whine, but I do find it very inconsiderate. It goes both ways. If there are little kids near me, I stand behind them.

Edit: I realize that has more to do with general etiquette than creepiness, but it needed to be said. Updated On: 10/27/10 at 12:42 AM