#1
Posted: 12/30/09 at 11:10pm
As one of the most vocal proponents of the movie version of NINE based on the trailer, screenplay and soundtrack I have taken the horrendous reviews and miserable box office receipts in stride and have remained silent until I fully digested what I saw on screen. Until now.
10 letters to describe NINE: A grand mess.
A disaster of epic proportions.
A mise en scene of missed opportunity and much, much more...
Needless to say, I am absolutely shattered. I wanted this so much to be great, even good. It's nowhere near either.
1/4 of the movie works well and momentarily breaks the film from its meandering, nonsensical narrative: "Cinema Italiano" and "Unusual Way", and both are nearly destroyed by poor editing. The latter is actually eviscerated by the insanely stupid editing but somehow the emotion and tone of the performances salvaged it somehow, at least for me. "CI" has nothing to do with the film, as it is, but is such a breath of fresh air that in comparison to the rest of it somehow I found a way to forgive its myriad problems. I wish I could say the same for everything else, but I can't. I just can't.
"Guido's Song" and "A Call From The Vatican" are two of the worst musical numbers I have ever seen on screen. Poses and movement, not even choreography, and the rest of the songs so maddeningly and repetitiously intercut with dialogue and nonsense as to literally cut the b*lls off any shred of actual emotion or even drama so readily available in the material. Such disappointments, particularly since "Call" has been relatively well received.
"Be Italian" was a lamentable mess and I am baffled as to why people find something, anything, to like in it. It's a complete disaster... no choreography, really, just poses and movement, as seems to be Marshall's wont. Most of it is, indeed, directly lifted from "Mein Herr" and what isn't is a shambles and a sham. Fergie looks ludicrous, as do most of the women, with the exception of Kidman and Cruz. Hudson's weight fluxuated by 25 lbs or so over the course of her scenes.
The editing killed this more than anything, but if Marhsall is let anywhere near a musical after this it will have to be something so attuned to his style it would be the TRUE heir to CHICAGO, and not this... ::sigh::... piece of crap. KISS OF THE SPIDERWOMAN should be his swan song. I even question if I would want him to touch that after seeing this, even with it's oh-so-Marshall-esque conceit and style.
And why "Only With You" was cut from where it so obviously should fit in the scene where Carla leaves the "film meeting dinner" is another huge misstep, completely gutting Guido of any sympathy at the point at which the audience is screaming for it.
I give it a D+, and that's being kind.
And was I the only one that spotted nearly EVERY trick from CHICAGO and about 40 shots and entire scenes directly stolen from ALL THAT JAZZ? The scantily clad showgirl appearing with arms draped around the priest ala showgirl draped over Amos during "Razzle Dazzle"? Identical car follow-shot scenes and paparazzi shots lifted frame-by-frame CHICAGO? That absurd flash-bulb-shatterring montage stuffed into the film following "Cinema Italiano" for no apparent reason whatsoever, with no style or scene to justify its inclusion? "Folies Bergere" visually almost identical to "All I Care About" with not an ounce of the punch or pizazz or reason for being in this story at all?
I have so much more to say, but I won't. I can't.
God, I'm depressed.
A Good Nightmare Comes So Rarely,
P
10 letters to describe NINE: A grand mess.
A disaster of epic proportions.
A mise en scene of missed opportunity and much, much more...
Needless to say, I am absolutely shattered. I wanted this so much to be great, even good. It's nowhere near either.
1/4 of the movie works well and momentarily breaks the film from its meandering, nonsensical narrative: "Cinema Italiano" and "Unusual Way", and both are nearly destroyed by poor editing. The latter is actually eviscerated by the insanely stupid editing but somehow the emotion and tone of the performances salvaged it somehow, at least for me. "CI" has nothing to do with the film, as it is, but is such a breath of fresh air that in comparison to the rest of it somehow I found a way to forgive its myriad problems. I wish I could say the same for everything else, but I can't. I just can't.
"Guido's Song" and "A Call From The Vatican" are two of the worst musical numbers I have ever seen on screen. Poses and movement, not even choreography, and the rest of the songs so maddeningly and repetitiously intercut with dialogue and nonsense as to literally cut the b*lls off any shred of actual emotion or even drama so readily available in the material. Such disappointments, particularly since "Call" has been relatively well received.
"Be Italian" was a lamentable mess and I am baffled as to why people find something, anything, to like in it. It's a complete disaster... no choreography, really, just poses and movement, as seems to be Marshall's wont. Most of it is, indeed, directly lifted from "Mein Herr" and what isn't is a shambles and a sham. Fergie looks ludicrous, as do most of the women, with the exception of Kidman and Cruz. Hudson's weight fluxuated by 25 lbs or so over the course of her scenes.
The editing killed this more than anything, but if Marhsall is let anywhere near a musical after this it will have to be something so attuned to his style it would be the TRUE heir to CHICAGO, and not this... ::sigh::... piece of crap. KISS OF THE SPIDERWOMAN should be his swan song. I even question if I would want him to touch that after seeing this, even with it's oh-so-Marshall-esque conceit and style.
And why "Only With You" was cut from where it so obviously should fit in the scene where Carla leaves the "film meeting dinner" is another huge misstep, completely gutting Guido of any sympathy at the point at which the audience is screaming for it.
I give it a D+, and that's being kind.
And was I the only one that spotted nearly EVERY trick from CHICAGO and about 40 shots and entire scenes directly stolen from ALL THAT JAZZ? The scantily clad showgirl appearing with arms draped around the priest ala showgirl draped over Amos during "Razzle Dazzle"? Identical car follow-shot scenes and paparazzi shots lifted frame-by-frame CHICAGO? That absurd flash-bulb-shatterring montage stuffed into the film following "Cinema Italiano" for no apparent reason whatsoever, with no style or scene to justify its inclusion? "Folies Bergere" visually almost identical to "All I Care About" with not an ounce of the punch or pizazz or reason for being in this story at all?
I have so much more to say, but I won't. I can't.
God, I'm depressed.
A Good Nightmare Comes So Rarely,
P
Updated On: 1/2/10 at 11:10 PM
