People talking during shows- Page 2

[hearthemsing22]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 11:09am

quizking101 said: "I don't mind the occasional whisper or "What did they say?", because sometimes, so much is going on on stage that a joke or lyric can be missed and that can take you out of it. It's when you start having full conversations/dissertations like a running commentary that it becomes a problem.
 

Agreed. That quick question about not catching dialogue or a lyric is fine. But I went to a show recently where people had a full on whispered conversation throughout the whole show. On and off throughout the whole thing. I knew them so I tried to be understanding but it was so distracting and not okay. I don't know why they thought it was? 


I really only find the most offenders at the well-known properties (Phantom, Hamilton) and the jukebox musicals catered to the older set (Neil Diamond, Ain't Too Proud, Jersey Boys were the biggest offenders). Oddly enough, people poo-poo the younger crowds, but both times I saw & JULIET and MOULIN ROUGE, it was the people around my age (28) that had the best etiquette."

 

[JasonC3]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 11:54am

I wonder if these more immersive, interactive, and/or concert-like environments we are seeing in some productions will erode some of the traditional "rules" about theater etiquette.  It is human nature to pick up behavioral cues from the environment and others around you. 

People at concerts talk, sing, take video, et al much more commonly (and often without any retribution).  Even if shows only encourage it during a curtail call (Six, for example), it could cause some to think it is more acceptable overall, particularly very infrequent theatergoers.

I have a colleague who also thinks there is some cultural bias to silence during shows that may get challenged as audiences and productions diversify.

Updated On: 3/27/23 at 11:54 AM

[SeanD2]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 12:11pm

Oh who cares if people talk. Shows today are so over-amplified that you'll still be able to hear it over people talking. And I'm so sick of this puritanical "theater etiquette" that demands you sit absolutely still, don't talk, don't laugh, don't engage. That's not the way humans are meant to engage in theatrical storytelling. And it's only a relatively recent development. The Greeks weren't sitting silently. Nor were Shakespeare's audiences. We need to stop gatekeeping the theater by moderating behavior and open the theater back up to the people.

[Sutton Ross]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 12:32pm

I would take talking and singing over anything involving phones, smart watches, water bottles, and candy wrappers. You can't control other people in the theater and it will make you miserable trying to police others in that space. 

[dramamama611]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 12:47pm

Because things evolve - they used to throw produce at the actors as well - would you like to go back to that? There's a difference between being rude - intruding on other's enjoyment/involvement of the show, and reasonable talking/noise/reactions etc.

I'll go on to say that I seldom have the complaints that many here do about behavior, I've seen it more isolated than rampant - individuals instead of the whole.   I bring students to NY shows quite a bit, but theyre theater kids, they know how to act.  

[Dollypop]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 12:53pm

My biggest complaint on this topic are the audiences at the RCMH CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR. This show attracts crowds who may never have been in a live theater before and have no concept of how to behave in the theater.  There are plenty of crying babies, talking, hot dog munching and beer guzzling. The noise level in the audience is so loud that the performances on the two "Mighty Werlitzer's were inaudible. 

The last time I was there I was seated behind a family of out-of-towners that pretty well filled the row. I was directly behind the male contingent and they couldn't have been ruder: eating hotdogs and sauerkraut (oh, the smell!), drinking beer, repeatedly going to the bathroom and coming back with more beer, talking on their phones, and watching sporting events on those selfsame phones. I don't think they paid any attention to the show at all.

The experience was so dreadful I skipped the Music Hall this past year and went to Lincoln Center for THE MESSIAH instead. THERE the audiences know how to behave.

[hearthemsing22]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 12:54pm

SeanD2 said: "Oh who cares if people talk. Shows today are so over-amplified that you'll still be able to hear it over people talking. And I'm so sick of this puritanical "theater etiquette" that demands you sit absolutely still, don't talk, don't laugh, don't engage. That's not the way humans are meant to engage in theatrical storytelling. And it's only a relatively recent development. The Greeks weren't sitting silently. Nor were Shakespeare's audiences. We need to stop gatekeeping the theater by moderating behavior and open the theater back up to the people."

Yes, because when we pay so much for a theater ticket, we want to hear others around us talking. Seriously? We pay to hear the PERFORMERS. Want to loudly react to something? Go to a concert or sporting event. 

[hearthemsing22]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 12:57pm

JasonC3 said: "I wonder if these more immersive, interactive, and/or concert-like environments we are seeing in some productions will erode some of the traditional "rules" about theater etiquette. It is human nature to pick up behavioral cues from the environment and others around you.

People at concerts talk, sing, take video, et al much more commonly (and often without any retribution). Even if shows only encourage it during a curtail call (Six, for example), it could cause some to think it is more acceptable overall, particularly very infrequent theatergoers.

I have a colleague who also thinks there is some cultural bias to silence during shows that may get challenged as audiences and productions diversify."

I wonder why people think it's okay. Why when you're seeing a show that people have paid a lot of money for, they want to hear your voice. They paid to hear the performers. It is natural to sit still and watch something. Concerts, ballet, opera, theater. People do not attend expecting to be able to talk the whole time, use their phone, have full on conversations with their seatmate. If they can't sit still, maybe the those events aren't for them. No it's not gatekeeping. It's behavior and what's expected there. 

[nasty_khakis]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 1:00pm

I can attest it tends to be people over 50 I've seen the uptick in bad behavior too. Almost everything I see lately has a group who talk the entire time, clap completely off beat to the music in moments when no one else is clapping, not even asking/answering questions but just narrating what's going on. It's been incredibly frustrating especially since the times I've politely mentioned to stop talking/put the phone away I get something along the lines of "I'm just ENJOYING the show!"  House staff will do absolutely nothing. 

 

[Sutton Ross]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 2:01pm

It's behavior and what's expected there. 
 

Yeah, your expectations are not anyone elses. There might be people who don’t attend theater at all who are there for the first time. Perhaps give them grace and patience? People also come from different cultural backgrounds and not everyone has the same life experience. As always, refer to your signature. 

[forfivemoreminutes]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 2:09pm

In my (anecdotal) experience, people attending theatre for the first time are usually some of the MOST respectful and MOST anxious about adhering to theatre etiquette. I've brought a bunch of friends who had never been to a Broadway show before to the theatre and each of them asked me a lot of questions about how to act, what to wear, "is it okay to xyz?" I also see a lot of posts online along the lines of, "I'm attending my first Broadway show, what should I know/what should I do or not do?"

The people who most recently were very disruptive at shows I've been to were very clearly people who were regular theatregoers; the people beside me who kept talking to each other were season subscribers, and the guy at Some Like It Hot who kept singing along and whistling had clearly gone to the show multiple times before; he knew ALL the words to the songs (before the cast album was released). And it's not concert-style shows like Six or &Juliet where this happens (at least in my experience)...it's shows where you would think especially older, regular theatregoers would know better. And if someone genuinely just doesn't know, typically once someone tells them talking isn't appropriate in the theatre, you would think they would be a bit embarrassed and appreciative that someone told them (if they genuinely didn't know), but that hasn't been my experience.

This is where my question comes from, genuinely - do people (even regular theatregoers) just not know that this behaviour is against theatre norms? Or do they know but not care? Or are these norms not actually as universal as I've thought they are?

[Sutton Ross]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 2:21pm

 Or are these norms not actually as universal as I've thought they are?
 

Absolutely not. It completely depends on your background, where you were raised, how you were raised, the list goes on. The majority of people attending aren’t going to make a Reddit thread asking how to act. 

[hearthemsing22]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 4:46pm

forfivemoreminutes said: "In my (anecdotal) experience, people attending theatre for the first time are usually some of the MOST respectful and MOST anxious about adhering to theatre etiquette. I've brought a bunch of friends who had never been to a Broadway show before to the theatre and each of them asked me a lot of questions about how to act, what to wear, "is it okay to xyz?" I also see a lot of posts online along the lines of, "I'm attending my first Broadway show, what should I know/what should I do or not do?"

The people who most recently were very disruptive at shows I've been to were very clearly people who were regular theatregoers; the people beside me who kept talking to each other were season subscribers, and the guy at Some Like It Hot who kept singing along and whistling had clearly gone to the show multiple times before; he knew ALL the words to the songs (before the cast album was released). And it's not concert-style shows like Six or &Juliet where this happens (at least in my experience)...it's shows where you would think especially older, regular theatregoers would know better. And if someone genuinely just doesn't know, typically once someone tells them talking isn't appropriate in the theatre, you would think they would be a bit embarrassed and appreciative that someone told them (if they genuinely didn't know), but that hasn't been my experience.

This is where my question comes from, genuinely - do people (even regular theatregoers) just not know that this behaviour is against theatre norms? Or do they know but not care? Or are these norms not actually as universal as I've thought they are?"

I think we've reached a time where people think rules and behavior doesn't apply to them, they are an exception, they are special and don't have to adhere to normal theater behavior. They think it's okay to talk throughout the whole thing (a clarifying question is of course okay, but talking throughout?? No), to use their phones, to watch something while there. Maybe they were forced to go. Maybe they went with a group and no one in the group has been before so they don't think there are any rules to follow. Maybe they just don't care if they've seen the show before, so that leads others to believe it's normal behavior.

Either way, it STINKS and I have no problem telling people to put their phone away, or give them a dirty look if they're talking throughout the whole thing 

[hearthemsing22]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 5:48pm

Any time you go anywhere, there are rules and expectations for behavior. Theater isn't excluded here. 

[perfectpenguin]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 5:55pm

Don’t forget Moulin Rouge has the bright idea to host a sing along night. Awful idea. 

[Fosse76]

Posted: 3/27/23 at 11:38pm

forfivemoreminutes said: "Will ushers actually help with this kind of thing? In my experience talking to ushers, they'll usually help if the behaviour is really egregious

It very much depends. Some producers may not want the ushers to do anything about audience behavior (Scott Rudin was one...unless he was there and would direct them to people to be quiet...but other producers have as well). Theater policies may also hinder such a response. In my experience, younger ushers are more hesitant to do anything.

[laporms]

Posted: 3/28/23 at 12:05am

I recently took a group of students to &Juliet. 

I had them sit, turn off their phones, and explained that everyone paid good money for these tickets and if they decided they didn't like it they should take a nap. Otherwise, sit and enjoy the show. 

With about 10 minutes before the show started, another school group settled behind me. The teacher was LOUD and when the preshow began was laughing at everything at a level 10. I gave a look behind me and she assured me she would stop when the actual show began. 

Lies. 

Instead, she got louder. My students, who were behaving, wanted to know at intermission why they had to go deaf. I overheard something about "I was Lady Capulet" before the start of the second act. 

Behavior makes every case to film and release for home viewing. And, for ushers to behave more like teachers, circulating as needed throughout the show. Proximity stops bad behavior. 

[Ricey2]

Posted: 3/28/23 at 12:21am

I don’t mind a little bit of commentary to the person next to you. Sometimes you have to say something in the moment, but full on conversations? No! Like other said, talking doesn’t distract me NEARLY as much as phones do. Even with your phone turned all the way down, my focus goes squarely on the device and I hate it. I don’t want it to suck me in, but it distracts me so much. 
 

The worst experience I had was a man filming the whole second act in the row in front of me. Like full on blatant recording. I was shocked. I asked him to stop several times because he kept moving the camera around and was also scream laughing at every line. I should have gotten up and called over an usher, but I was in the middle of the row and I didn’t want to miss even more of the show than I had. I’m really disappointed too because I really was looking forward to the show and that man is basically all I can remember from the show now.  

[blaxx]

Posted: 3/28/23 at 1:05am

SeanD2 said: "Oh who cares if people talk. Shows today are so over-amplified that you'll still be able to hear it over people talking. And I'm so sick of this puritanical "theater etiquette" that demands you sit absolutely still, don't talk, don't laugh, don't engage. That's not the way humans are meant to engage in theatrical storytelling. And it's only a relatively recent development. The Greeks weren't sitting silently. Nor were Shakespeare's audiences. We need to stop gatekeeping the theater by moderating behavior and open the theater back up to the people."

You better not be sitting around me during a show. I don't go easy on noise makers.

[hearthemsing22]

Posted: 3/28/23 at 8:30am

perfectpenguin said: "Don’t forget Moulin Rouge has the bright idea to host a sing along night. Awful idea."

No it's good. People don't want to be able to hear the actors! So they'll attend the show for the first time, and won't know anything going on because people will be singing over the actors. 

[hearthemsing22]

Posted: 3/28/23 at 8:32am

Ricey2 said: "I don’t mind a little bit of commentary to the person next to you. Sometimes you have to say something in the moment, but full on conversations? No! Like other said, talking doesn’t distract me NEARLY as much as phones do. Even with your phone turned all the way down, my focus goes squarely on the device and I hate it. I don’t want it to suck me in, but it distracts me so much.
 

I was at a show and someone started recording the first act. They were reprimanded by an usher, then turned their brightness down and continued recording. Like...stop. We can still see you and it's distracting and not okay 


The worst experience I had was a man filming the whole second act in the row in front of me. Like full on blatant recording. I was shocked. I asked him to stop several times because he kept moving the camera around and was also scream laughing at every line. I should have gotten up and called over an usher, but I was in the middle of the row and I didn’t want to miss even more of the show than I had. I’m really disappointed too because I really was looking forward to the show and that man is basically all I can remember from the show now."

 

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 3/28/23 at 9:20am

Whenever we have these conversations invariably someone will bring the conversation to "cultural differences." Obviously, this is a valid and necessary thing to talk about but I've never seen it play out that way. On almost every occasion I've encountered loud talkers (which these days is every other show), they've loudly identified themselves as frequent theater goers or theatermakers before the show has started. They are the two older women who go to all the Wednesday matinees. They are the business man who buys premium seats for ever hit show. They the artistic director of a community theater in Des Moines. The culture is one of privilege that the rules don't apply to them. Or they're folks who don't really want to be there but are there because it's what they think they should be doing. 

It's important that we leave space for everyone to RESPOND to a show in their way. No one should be shushed if their vocally responding to the show. It feels like how folks behave during the show is a different issue. Shouting "Get 'em!" or exclaiming "Talk about it!" or "Ohmigod" or even saying to your neighbor "That's just like Karen." or "I thought that character died." is different than talking about cocktails afterward. Or talking about the time you were in Fidller and did it differently. I don't take much issue with folks who are engaged in the show. It's the folks who act like there's barely a show going on or an audience surrounding that really take me out of the show. Maybe? I don't know. 

I'm autistic and it's difficult for me to handle auditory distractions. Believe me, I've tried all the methods. I've tried earplugs, I've tried listening devices, I've tried meditating, I've asked folks to keep quiet and I've moved to a different seat in the theater. Ultimately, even if I wanted to, there's not much I can do about other people's behavior so I try to focus on my own experience. 

Updated On: 3/28/23 at 09:20 AM

[sinister teashop]

Posted: 3/28/23 at 11:06am

Just an annoyingly pedantic note about Greek and Elizabethan theater audiences. They were both segregated by rank and class. In Greece, priests and Patrons sat in the front on specially carved seats with the plebeians up in the back. In The Globe that was reversed with the wealthiest sitting at the top, away from the garlic and beer of the working people on the ground. Contemporary Broadway, in perfect contemporary American fashion, is faux-Democratic as anyone can sit anywhere they want if they pay the price but the price for even discount tickets is prohibitively high for most people.

Updated On: 3/28/23 at 11:06 AM

[JasonC3]

Posted: 3/28/23 at 11:26am

KJisgroovy said: "It's important that we leave space for everyone to RESPOND to a show in their way. No one should be shushed if their vocally responding to the show. "

You raise some excellent points.  I've spotlighted this one because I think it is one where expectations (and cultures) may differ. 

I have seen theater in some settings where verbal response from the audience during the performance is generally taboo or frowned upon even if it is a strong positive reaction to what is happening on stage.  And of course, this is an expectation that some audience members have regardless of what show they are attending or where they are doing so.

Some people expect normative behavior to be universal and almost permanent, but of course it is not.  Anyone who travels, particularly international, can attest to that.  Norms evolve over time and it will be interesting to see where they go next.

 

 

Updated On: 3/28/23 at 11:26 AM

[Matt Rogers]

Posted: 3/28/23 at 12:02pm

Went to a show at the Tilles Center on Long Island last week. 

When we arrived at our aisle seats 15 minutes before showtime, there was a couple sitting in them. The usher told them they were in the wrong seats but they refused to move. Only upon her getting a manager did they begrudgingly move to their real seats, which were unfortunately right next to ours. The wife sat next to me and the husband one seat over.

Before the lights went down, there was the usual announcement about no photography or recording of any kind. 

The split second the lights went down, the husband whips out his phone and starts filming. Since he was one seat over from me and because I kind of got dragged to a show I didn't really care much about, I didn't say anything. 

However, in act two, after having filmed all of act one, he whipped out the phone and started filming again. This time, he had the light on full blast and it was extremely annoying. After fifteen minutes of this, I leaned over and said very loudly "ILLEGAL!" This was met with an immediate "F*CK You."

"Oh really?" I said, and I jumped out of my seat and went out of the theatre to find an usher. They were all sitting around in a little group, so I said, "Excuse me, are people allowed to film the performance with their phones?" And one of them actually said "I think so as long as the light is not bright."

I said "Well they made an announcement at the beginning that it was not allowed, and the guy next to me has been filming every second of it since it began."

She said "Oh...well let me check on that." She asked where I was sitting. I told her, and then I went back to my seat. 

As soon as I sat down, the guy gave me another loud "F*ck you" to which I said "You're the one illegally filming he entire show, a$$hole - do you want to reimburse everyone around you for their tickets for being so annoying??"

To which I got my third "F*ck you" of the evening. 

Then his wife jumps in and screams "His daughter is in the hospital!!!" (what that had to do with anything, I have no idea)

Now it was a full disruption of the show, and the people behind them started telling them to shut up, but instead, they gathered there stuff, got out of their seats and left the theatre, but not without one final "F*ck you."

Pure class. And by the way, the ushers never made another appearance at any time.