People talking during shows

Genuine question - do a lot of people not know that talking during a performance (even whispering) is rude and not acceptable theatre etiquette? Or is this not actually as rude as I think it is? I go to the theatre a lot (like 50+ times a year) and I'd say at least half of the shows I attend, maybe more than that, someone near me is talking to their neighbour. And in my experience, no one other than me seems to tell people to be quiet (even when they are talking LOUDLY), and people I've told to stop talking tend to be pretty hostile...most recently I was at a regional theatre performance where the woman next to me turned to her husband literally every five minutes or so to comment on the performance, and I told her multiple times to stop talking, and each time she either ignored me or said something like, "I have every right to ask a question during the show."

My other worst audience interactions were probably at MJ, where the people behind me acted like I was the problem for asking them to stop singing loudly along to the show, and at Some Like It Hot, where this guy kept singing along and whistling loudly partway through songs (and when I told him to stop, he said, "I paid for this ticket and I have a right to a good time!" and he refused to stop singing along even after I got an usher to talk to him).

Having these experiences over and over again makes me feel like I'm somehow crazy for thinking that people shouldn't be talking (even if they're whispering) during a show, especially since the people doing this behaviour often get really angry and confrontational when I ask them to stop, even though I always ask them politely, usually something like, "Please stop talking/singing along during the show. It's disruptive/rude." And asking them to stop rarely actually gets them to stop - they'll sometimes just "whisper" (but still audibly). Is silence during shows not actually a theatre norm anymore? I came to the show to see the performance; not to hear random audience members' commentary on it, and I find it difficult to tune out when people are talking near me (and especially if they're singing along).

Will ushers actually help with this kind of thing? In my experience talking to ushers, they'll usually help if the behaviour is really egregious (like the guy who was singing along audibly enough for people several rows back to be glaring at him or commenting on him), but in other circumstances they haven't been much help, and even when they do approach someone to tell them to stop, the person usually just goes back to talking after the usher leaves. And sometimes if someone is whispering I'm not sure if that behaviour is "severe" enough to get ushers involved, especially if I'm in the middle of a row and it would be a hassle to get out and find an usher.

Is it unreasonable for me not to want people around me to talk during shows? Is there a more effective way I can deal with this beyond asking them to stop and/or alerting an usher if possible? And why is it happening SO OFTEN?

At life of pi, the person next to me was TALKING on the phone DURING act one giving directions to their partner to their theater. And act two the partner was watching sports on his phone. The usher just did the basic turn off your phone and walked away. Big help. I emailed the Shurburt customer service and got the basic sorry for the inconvenience but please spend money on another show to give us a second chance

Updated On: 3/26/23 at 10:18 PM

Do people genuinely not know that it's rude to do this stuff (talking, singing, texting, etc.)? I've seen a bunch of people texting during shows too, or answering email, which, a) why would you spend $200 on a ticket to a Broadway show and then spend most of that time checking your email, and b) do people genuinely not understand that it's rude to do that? Because again, when I tell people, "Put away your phone, it's distracting," they often glare at me like I'M the problem and then proceed to go back to their email as if I hadn't said anything at all. And in that case again, even alerting the ushers, all that happens is the usher will ask them to put it away, which they will, and then take it out again once the usher is gone. It's harder when they're in the middle of the row for the usher to keep an eye on it.

The people who talk in a theatre are the same ones who are vocal in a bedroom.

The worst are school groups. Their teacher sits three rows in front them watching the show intently meanwhile their students are being disruptive to everyone behind them

That's what tasers are for.

Impeach2017 said: "That's what tasers are for."

I wish!!!

People are just Loyd and uncouth in the theater. I sat in front of someone who laughed piercings loud when the rest of the theater was silent. Laughing is great but there still needs to be s level of control. You can't be distracting people from what's on stage. It's also annoying as an actor.

re: dealing with talking as an usher, I will 100% address it if I hear it or if someone directly complains to me, but because of the acoustics of the theatre and where speakers are placed, it's SO hard to hear people unless they're right next to where I'm standing in the aisle or they're talking very loudly. At least in my theatre we do our best with the audience behavior, but it does sometimes feel like we're fighting a losing battle.

And, on the whole, kids are usually *way* better behaved than their parents.

One time I made a comment about this, and someone was like "you can excuse it because maybe it's their first time at a show and they don't know the rules". PLEASE. They do. They choose to ignore them. They think rules don't apply to them. Usually when I hear people talking I turn around and give them a death glare. If they're on their phone I have no problem telling them to put it away-unless they're too far away from me.

It does seem like it has gotten so much worse lately. It's ridiculous. Manners seem to have gone away during lockdown.

Melissa25 said: "Going midweek has become part of my overall strategy now to survive. There’s less people to wade through in Times Square too on a Tuesday vs. a Saturday. Now I also have to carry ear plugs in case I get seated next to an overly enthusiastic WOO-HOOer who verges on piercing my ear drum throughout the show. This is what happened at & Juliet and Funny Girl.


The entire second act of Take me Out, I was taken out by the three middle aged women behind me crinkling their Sour Patch Kids wrappers. Sometimes I’d rather deal with a little chatter vs. all the other rude behavior."

Ooof I'm sorry that's even something you have to do!! No one should have to use earplugs during a show. Absolutely ridiculous.

bear88 said: "It was so maddening, and my wife so frustrated, and I turned around, raised my hand, and said loudly, "You're not at home." "

That's a great tactic/line! I'm going to use that going forward.

I can chime in with my own experience recently. First performance of the "Into The Woods" tour in Buffalo. A grandmother and her granddaughter sat to my left. The granddaughter was singing random lines, constantly standing up and sitting down, and taking her baseball cap on and off. I glared at Grandma and made eye contact numerous times during the first act, and she kept telling her granddaughter to "sit down" and "be quiet," but she just didn't listen.

Mom and her three teenage daughters seated to my right. The daughters felt the need to explain to mom what was happening, and identify every character when they entered. I kept leaning forward and making eye contact with them, but they just didn't get the hint.

Thankfully the house manager was able to move me at intermission. While that gets me out of the situation, it still doesn't cause the troublemakers to be made aware that their behavior is disruptive.

It's almost like the house lights need to come down, and once the majority of the audience stops talking, start the pre-show announcement. Half of the time I don't hear them anymore, since most people keep talking and texting through them.

Do it almost like the movie theaters... some sort of low-frequency, soothing audio to get everyone to actually pay attention. Then a voiceover specifying not to talk. Not to whisper. Not to sing along. Not to light up your phone's screen and text. Explain that the noise from your wrappers or food can be disruptive. No cutesy announcements with "unwrap your candy now!" lines slipped in... people just laugh and think they're being encouraged to eat.

Sadly, it all needs to be spelled out as plainly as possible before it might ever begin to sink in.

Updated On: 3/27/23 at 10:08 AM

quizking101 said: "I don't mind the occasional whisper or "What did they say?", because sometimes, so much is going on on stage that a joke or lyric can be missed and that can take you out of it. It's when you start having full conversations/dissertations like a running commentary that it becomes a problem.


Agreed. That quick question about not catching dialogue or a lyric is fine. But I went to a show recently where people had a full on whispered conversation throughout the whole show. On and off throughout the whole thing. I knew them so I tried to be understanding but it was so distracting and not okay. I don't know why they thought it was?


I really only find the most offenders at the well-known properties (Phantom, Hamilton) and the jukebox musicals catered to the older set (Neil Diamond, Ain't Too Proud, Jersey Boys were the biggest offenders). Oddly enough, people poo-poo the younger crowds, but both times I saw & JULIET and MOULIN ROUGE, it was the people around my age (28) that had the best etiquette."