Owen, my thoughts fall more in line with yours. The show might not be the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s also a total waste of time and worse, a total waste of good source material for a musical.
The score is downright terrible. Generic to the nth degree; the piece begins (naturally) with the witches who are given a dull as dirt song about destiny (yawn) and then the second number is some drippy blob of a song given to Lady M that warns you that this will not be getting any better. Only the act one finale shows signs of life, but given the context and the melody, it feels merely like a redux of Opening Up from Waitress.
I thought the actors tried, but they weren’t able to overcome the material. In fairness to them, name the actor who could spin this straw into gold. Only Megan Lawrence brought some life, spunk and a bit of camp into the proceedings.
The coda after the bows felt like a cut scene from Prince or Central Park and for that I was grateful, but it doesn’t justify going to see it for yourself.
Marie: Don't be in such a hurry about that pretty little chippy in Frisco.
Tony: Eh, she's a no chip!