David10086 said: "I have a die-hard liberal friend who's in her late 50s, and has been in a committed same-sex relationship for over 10 years. Both women seem very happy, and have a beautiful home together. I've asked her recently - as I would any couple who have been together for as long as they have - if they will ever marry (as many of their friends have), as they live in Boston, MA and MA was the first groundbreaking state toallow same-sex marriage.
Her response was "Never! I can't marry Margo. I'm a Jewish woman first. I can't be in a gay marriage", and further explained how she would be shamed in her Jewish community if anyone knew she was in a lesbian relationship. (And this is Boston!) In other words - everyone knows she and Margo live together, vacation together, do everything together - but so long as they don't 'come out publicly' they're fine. (Margo is from PA, and also Jewish - about ten years her junior). They're accepted as two friends who do everything together - nothing more.I should point out that as far as I know, they do not identify as Orthodox Jews or Hasidic Jews.
On Facebook and social media, they refer to each other as their "BFFs" - not as their wife or partner. Just "BFFs" - yet in private, among their gay friends, they refer to each other as 'wife' and celebrate the day they moved in together (about six months after meeting) as their 'anniversary'.
Just wanted to share this with everyone to point out that although Christianity (and especially the Catholic Church) take the brunt of not accepting homosexuality and gay marriage, there are other religions guilty as well.
As a Jewish woman, I wanted to say that yes, it's a shame that certain sects of my religion have a LONG way to go toward accepting the rights of its LGBTQ practitioners. I do also want to say in many communities, Judaism is incredibly welcoming toward all people, and there are scores of LGBTQ individuals (many LGBTQ Jews of color!) who are rabbis as well. The celebration of intersectionality within Judaism is increasing with time, and I hope to be part of that process. <3
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